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Out Today - Tru Trilla "Turn That Down" ft Guilty Simpson & Skyzoo [audio & video]
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feel like if ansari was john smth this topic would have 0 replies
she has no legs to stand on
/
cant wait for these robot bitches to be household like wifi... game gone change
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Heero Yuy
When I said his version of events I mean him perceiving the event differently, he said that everything seemed fine to him. Like I keep saying two people can observe an event and have differing opinions on it. In walks of life we have a neutral mediator, someone there at the time who can objectively give an opinion on how they saw it.
Since there was no fly on the wall, we can only logically assume it was viewed differently at the time.
I'm not even sure what's to deny on his part, Grace didn't say anything wasn't consensual, she hasn't accused him of anything. Like what point is she trying to prove, or statement is she trying to make?
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Wavant
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local
just life init
ugly geezas gotta go through this typa shit every time they pull
can't be attracting these kinda nutjobs so im just straight up scumbag steve from the get go
you've seen the tinder screenshots
thats the way
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Grafter
What happens if its the same situation but in her house?
People say in this situation y she never just leave
What if he was actin like that in her house? She then has to insist that he leaves?
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Heero Yuy
Surely she asks him to leave?
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Grafter
Yh but I'm letting you know as a woman, immediately vulnerable (yes u can hit him with something or call police or shout but before u do any of that he can get u)
If a man is being over over like that and u did already say something like "dont want it to feel forced"
Then why would a woman think hes gna leave when asked? There's going to be an element of fear now.
I think that situations like this cant just be called o well life
I dont think we should be in these situations as matter of normality (his house or her house), we do need progression on this...
/
And thinking about it jus as food for thought an showin u lot what it's like to always be aware of your physical vulnerability as a woman
I once went to a man's house as a teenager. Absolutely no intention of doin anything with him, it was a trick BUT I was over confident an not thinking properly an assumed I be fine since i wasn't far from home (silly logic)
Once in the house this man started makin verbal indications that he wants to beat so i very brashly shut him down. Everything changed, he said loudly "u cant just shoot a man down like that". I was thinking shit shit hes blocking the doorway, how am I gettin out of here unscathed, what if i jus run past him? How many doors?
I got out unscathed but spent maybe an hr or more listenin to his life story until i could gauge the right time to leave without offending him any further...
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Badman
Faaaam
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Grafter
Did u read my nex post or?
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Badman
If anything you were being passive and perhaps over polite
This tells me you were lacking social skills to deal with a scenario like that as people dont often realise that being indirect can be misinterpreted as rude and shameful if ego is mixed with rejection.
I am sure you would have learned your lesson by now and prevent yourself from getting in such a situation let alone going to someones house that you dont know that well and have no intention of doing anything with.
In conclusion (In general) education is key rather than blaming and applying labels
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Badman
Context wasnt really needed imo
Girl - I do not feel comfortable and would like to leave....
Done
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Grafter
Yemoh
I shut him down an made it clear i wasnt interested. Did u not read the bit where he shouted how i cant shoot a man down like that?
It is precisely my social skills that got me out of the situation
This what gets on my nerve, i hear it from male family members to us females too. U lot get angry an wamma blame is an be like 'you should have just blabla'
Im trying to explain to you that in our interactions with men there is always physical vulnerability. Which leads to reactions out of fear... People freezin, hangin around longer than what seems logical etc. I dno how else to make u understand.
If I had got up an said "look sir, i am not interested and im leavin now" there was every chance of being attacked since he already displayed agression at my dismissal of him
In the interest of self preservation i did the best i could.
I had to ingratiate myself to him, make him feel that I wasnt scared of him in order to get out whilst maintaining a safe distance
I saw him a couple years later an he grabbed me. I knew from he shouted about shootin him down i was completely at risk
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Grafter
No yemoh
That's my point entirely
Maybe in ur house its done
Im sayin if a man has already acted outside of the norm or outside of what u expected from him, its a tricky situation.
My fear in just gettin up an walkin out was that he would grab or clobber me on the way past him. He was clearly sittin in the door way blocking my exit.
You have to accept the value of the unknown and accept not everyman is the same as u. There is a huge range of characters out there an women on the whole make moves which mitigate against physical harm on balance
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Grafter
Aaand im not sayin the girl here was definitely scared im just sayin why do we have to be put in them situs as a matter of normality
Yes u learn as u get older but anything can happen before u learn the right lessons.
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Grafter
Already said it was a silly young minded decision
But the fact of the matter is these things happen an we shouldn't just blame the woman for bein in the situation in the first place. That man is accountable for his actions whether he read right or misread
People go on tinder dates every damn day in the houses of strangers. This happens
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Badman
In your scenario did you at any point say the words I mentioned?
"I do not feel comfortable and would like to leave...."
?
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Badman
I understand this part I wasnt trying to invalidate it, however unless you have the skills to deal with a situation where you are physically venerable its probably better to not allow yourself to get into that situation
I know plenty of females that handle themselves well in such a scenario
Obviously I am not talking about a guy physically forcing themselves onto a female, that is not what we are talking about in this discussion
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Grafter
I said to him very brashly I wasnt interested in fuckin him
I don't get why u keep missin that?
That is the whole reason he switched and told me i CANT shoot him down like that
Why cant I? Why whats he gna do about that then? How do i continue to reject him (i.e.e state that i am leavin) without angerin him further. After hes shouted im thinking ok what's next then. Who the hell responds that way to rejection? A dangerous man thats who
These situations happen and it doesn't matter how socially adept a woman can be. you cannot always speech your way out of a situation and the fear is just that. Not only what do i say but what if what I say doesnt work? Is goin to work? Is it worth the risk? Can i make this situation better in a different way?
And in telling me his life story he was not accepting my initial rejection. He kept Trying to entice me by offering material things an trips to Miami.
In your scenario yemoh, i reject him directly and he accepts, moves out of the way of the door ( which he deliberately sat in the entire time) and i can leave
Please do tell me how I should have handled that situation differently once in the house? Im listening
No good tellin anyone they shouldn't have been somewhere, this is life, anytime its ur first time in anyone's house you are takin a risk whether you think u kno them or not. Its an irrelevant statement
Im asking why cant we have a conversation where this over zealous, ' hungry' behaviour is called what it is which is unacceptable and frankly intimidating
Why cant we as a society move past this? Why we have to deal with that? Why do some men not see signals, hear words, feel entitled?
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Badman
You didnt answer my question though,
Not whether you told him you didnt wanted to fuck him but whether you told him you wanted to leave...
if you asked that then I could understand your point but it doesn't seem like you unequivocally emphasised that you wanted to leave which is probably the crux of the matter as it gives off mixed messages
which leads me to my next point...the game, which ill explain next by addressing what you said below
More time this is all a part of the game. Its animalistic for males to chase females even if the females are not forthcoming, Its part of courtship to chase females and eventually attempt to have sex with them
To apply that to a typical situation, how many times have I had a female in my bedroom and shes going on long and I end up beating? more time the girl admits that she was just playing hard to get, but they always intended to have sex
Heck even some females like that dominating shit
I have even been in situations where it starts off awkward and perhaps the female is uncomfortable but I am able to pattern it and get the female to relax....am I hungry or over zealous to be doing that?
I dare to ask whether you understand this concept but something tells me that either you are gonna act ignorant to all this, or as most females would, they would act a certain way about it but deep down they understand and acknowledge the game
So in light of this, can you at least understand where I am coming from? can you also understand the difficulties of being in a situation as a man? considering a female 9/10 will not initiate sex, and 99/100 will not come out and say they want sex, can you not at least see the difficulties of reading certain messages?
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Agony
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Grafter
I don't understand why you're deliberately ignoring his response to my initial rejection?
He didn't say it playfully or lightly, he shouted aggressively
Do you really believe that I should have taken the risk to further reject him by stating I was leaving at that moment whilst he is also physically in my way? Do you not perceive the danger in that situation?
I have to say you are the first person to completely dismiss this man's behaviour in this story and it's impact on my subsequent behaviour. Literally the first.
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What you are talking about here is different. Of course sexual interaction is nuanced. I personally do not reject a man with the initial intention of giving in anyway. As someone already said a woman or anyone is entitled to change their mind at any time so its irrelevant.
This is about not being selfish and having respect for each other. You should be able to understand how someone is rejecting you and discern the situation. I actually dont think its difficult, you know when its good to go an when its not..an if people do find jt difficult then it's a honest conversation society needs to have
An really, if ur not sure dont bother, if she is on it she will come to you, thats real game
I think its dangerous to think of women as people who will more often than not reject u but if u got game an u keep tryin she gna fuck u. Mature men know in those situations if they are really honest when its just time to give up
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