Please stand behind the yellow line

[Captain Planet]

LOL

Nobody confronts anybody else in london anyway

Awkward city

Everybody trying their hardest to find a spot where they're not looking at anybody else

I on the other hand am a shining beacon of light who seeks to enlighten and spread joy wherever I pass

[Guest Esquilax]

I don't like anyone anywhere so I try and avoid any form of confrontation/ conversation. Just wanna get to my destination, you feel?

[Grafter]

doubt they are pretending

i was on the tube the other day, one dark skin asians was sitting diaganally opposite, he had a semi, an he kept disco jiggin an feelin up his inner thighs

bet he wished he had a metro

[Bruno Di Gradi]

was on the train, then some old west indian brudda with gold rings on like every finger came on the train... wearing them 1970 world cup style football shorts *THEM ULTRA SHORT ONES* and a vest... i was like "ok" .. so the doors close now.. then my guy starts stretching and sh*t and joggin on the spot. Then he proceeded to do pull ups on the railing *next to the door* and grunting LOUD then turning around after like a set of 5-10 looking for some accolade or something. I mean safe your like 60 sumin and your able to do sh*t like that but LOL.

Also remember one woman got on the train and you know some carriages have the double seats that face opposite eachother rather than the row of seats. She waddled up and sat opposite me and i'm smelling a disgusting foul smell but i didnt wanna slew her like that because it was deep so i thought "iight lemme just bare it then jump off next stop and shift carriages"....before the doors even shut when she got on...this bitch put her feet up next to me and she was bare foot. I went nuts and whats worse is i REALLY do not like feet. I was like "WHAT THE f*ck ARE YOU DOING".. she was like "oh sorry"... sorry? wtf u just put your barefoot next to me like it was nuffin all smelling like meat left out in the sun for 10 days covered in flies...I just told her shes disgusting, stood up and walked down the carriage.

Also one time i was on the train and i was sitting on the last seat near the doors and the train was packed. I was with two of my boys. all 3 of us had a seat because we got on at a stop that was just before the busy ones *Victoria Line*. Anyway this woman got on the train with her kid and obviously there was no seats so shes making him hold on the railing *the one next to the seat* ... 2-2's now this lil kid *looked about 5ish or sum sh*t* started grabbin his d*ck and the hand he originally had on the railing was now on my knee. I didnt even clock at first where his other hand was.. im thinking he was just leaning against my knee coz the train was packed and he couldnt balance, wondering why my bredrins was bussin up and i look down see this lil yewt smiling grabbing his dinkle and touching my knee. I looked up at his mum and gestured to her init like on some "beg u do something" and she just smiled like say i was tryna draw her or something.. i was so close to slapping the kid i swear to god, the violation was something different.

[Grafter]

that little kid sis a bit sick still

thats off key, thats well off key llow it

[manuel]

Was coming back from the o2 once, got on the jubilee line and there was this drunken black chick with ehr mates and all rowdy mandem types. She didn't look to good, had her head between her legs n sh*t. Then all of a sudden this thick viscous stream of sick projected from her mouth. Obviously everyone on the train was disgusted by it, mostly vocalising their disgust... The worst part was the fact that the propulsion of the train made the vomit stream down the floor of the train, so everyone was jumping out of the way haha.

THEN, it came to their stop, they all slowly got off, she stumbled towards the door and the f*ck*ng door shut on her forehead LOL. All her mates were like "AY DRIVER MAN YOU'RE A f*ck*ng PRICK MAN OPEN THE f*ck*ng DOOR I'M GONNA f*ckIN WOT WOT WOT", she looked absolutely f*cked after that.

Funniest thing ever

HAHAHA

Cant really think of any funny ones. Last week though the train was at one station for ages so eevryones wondering whats going on then the guy comes on the tannoy saying someone in the end carriage is passed out so were just waiting for paramedics if theres a doctor onboard can they make their way to the carriage. Now Im in that carriage didnt notice anyone but seen loads of people start to crowd around some woman. Next thing you hear "Argh what she aint ill she's just drunk" and I see 2 passengers trying to just carry her off the train by her hands and legs she wakes up at this point and doesnt look best pleased. Neither does the whole carriage for her holding us up by 30 odd minutes.

[Guest Esquilax]

Parred by a family you

Mother and son pars on public transport

Public transport par

So many pars, it's peak.

[O.Man]

yo f*ck you init my topic is the best thread around and it just goes 2nd page like nothing f*ckin eskay drops a pic of his somalian pirate ship and i try and drop a gem no1 notices like a diamond in the rough

[Guest Triple XXX]

LMAO

[Aquaman]

was on the bus 1 time after work there was nuff engineering works so man jumps on this packed bus. im on the top deck with a seat,

get to marble arch now was thinkin shall i get off and get kfc? decided to wait for the selfridges stop so i can check some garms 1st.

Bad idea #1, now if your familiar with those stops theres not much space between them but at some point between these too stops i start smellin suttin awry, its fain but its def there, minutes past im lookin around cah the aroma is gettin stronger but the bus was rammed, and there was traffic so bus is stationary/crawling.

So I get up and go downstairs hoping to escape this sh*t smell, bad idea #2 get downstairs now smell is like upstairs but x3.

I'm lookin around tryna come to terms with this violation everybody in the bottom deck knows it stinks yet they actin all coy like they can't smell the human sh*t scent, bus was still in traffic and the driver finally tapped out and opened the damn doors. The way the whole bus cleared out came like the people running outta WTC after 9/11.

Felt disgusted and needless to say I did'nt go KFC, went straight home and showered I felt sick.

[Natalie]

I remember when I was on the bus and this boy threw up all over the floor and on this mans leg and stomach.

I felt so sorry for him.

[Mic Man]

I was on the tram a few years ago on the way to Croydon. This frail old woman in her late 60's gets up to get off the tram and as she's walking, the tram jolts and this woman hits the deck hard ala Jurgen Klinsman. There's bare skool kids around and everyones smirking slightly. Next ting you know, another old woman in her 60s jumps up from her seat on some Hero flex trying to help this woman who is just slumped on the floor. I don't know how, but this woman trips up and does a 5 star frog splash right on top of the poor woman lying on the floor. At this moment, me and all my friends are in tears- I managed to hold it down for the 1st fall, but 2 people in a heap on the floor was too much for me to take.

The tram still hasn't stopped yet, there is no one helping these women and they are literally rolling around in pain- (it looked a bit like 2 WWF wrestlers trying to recover from a stone cold stunner). When we eventually get to the next stop, they are still on the floor- people actually stepped over these 2 women to get on & off the tram. In the end, they managed to compose themselves, and got off the stop after that- they thanked each other and went their seperate ways.

funniest thing I've ever seen on public transport.

[Guest Esquilax]

I was on the tram a few years ago on the way to Croydon. This frail old woman in her late 60's gets up to get off the tram and as she's walking, the tram jolts and this woman hits the deck hard ala Jurgen Klinsman. There's bare skool kids around and everyones smirking slightly. Next ting you know, another old woman in her 60s jumps up from her seat on some Hero flex trying to help this woman who is just slumped on the floor. I don't know how, but this woman trips up and does a 5 star frog splash right on top of the poor woman lying on the floor. At this moment, me and all my friends are in tears- I managed to hold it down for the 1st fall, but 2 people in a heap on the floor was too much for me to take.

The tram still hasn't stopped yet, there is no one helping these women and they are literally rolling around in pain- (it looked a bit like 2 WWF wrestlers trying to recover from a stone cold stunner). When we eventually get to the next stop, they are still on the floor- people actually stepped over these 2 women to get on & off the tram. In the end, they managed to compose themselves, and got off the stop after that- they thanked each other and went their seperate ways.

funniest thing I've ever seen on public transport.

lol at this sh*t happening in New York or Tokyo

Londoners are evil

[Captain Planet]

We are product of our environment tbh

I would help still

[O.Man]

wtf double post

[O.Man]

EVIL STORY

i can fully guarantee that i would've helped the woman the 1st time

u and everyone in that carriage are fully waste for not doing so

[Mic Man]

I was on the tram a few years ago on the way to Croydon. This frail old woman in her late 60's gets up to get off the tram and as she's walking, the tram jolts and this woman hits the deck hard ala Jurgen Klinsman. There's bare skool kids around and everyones smirking slightly. Next ting you know, another old woman in her 60s jumps up from her seat on some Hero flex trying to help this woman who is just slumped on the floor. I don't know how, but this woman trips up and does a 5 star frog splash right on top of the poor woman lying on the floor. At this moment, me and all my friends are in tears- I managed to hold it down for the 1st fall, but 2 people in a heap on the floor was too much for me to take.

The tram still hasn't stopped yet, there is no one helping these women and they are literally rolling around in pain- (it looked a bit like 2 WWF wrestlers trying to recover from a stone cold stunner). When we eventually get to the next stop, they are still on the floor- people actually stepped over these 2 women to get on & off the tram. In the end, they managed to compose themselves, and got off the stop after that- they thanked each other and went their seperate ways.

funniest thing I've ever seen on public transport.

ur a wasteman imo.

give me a break. I know it's not an excuse but I was 14 at the time and there were big people on board the tram at the time

Also, the second woman was the 1st one to react- it caught me so off guard when she tumbled on top of her

[O.Man]

14 thats worst tbh if you were older yeh you're bit jaded allowed to look at old women toppling over eachother and laughing

but when you're 14 you should be on ur feet straight away like NANA!

[O.Man]

yeh i no i was joking that wasn't a serious post

why did u write ye u and at oman, filling my topic with trash

/

duno what im on just see that i double posted

/

yo someone help me i need peng

/

lofa u pretty much just done the same thing

[Greens]

What i meant was a high percentage of passengers (when i have been on the tube, mainly mornings) pretend to be reading the Metro so that they dont feel uncomfortable / to avoid confrontation with other passengers, of course that is only IMO.

More like a daily train commute is overly boring, filled with annoying, ugly people so anything that can offer a distraction to help pass the time a little quicker is highly welcomed.

[O.Man]

What i meant was a high percentage of passengers (when i have been on the tube, mainly mornings) pretend to be reading the Metro so that they dont feel uncomfortable / to avoid confrontation with other passengers, of course that is only IMO.

More like a daily train commute is overly boring, filled with annoying, ugly people so anything that can offer a distraction to help pass the time a little quicker is highly welcomed.

i like to fart and look at peoples reactions

[Lofa]

P.Brisco...you are ruining this topic.

Sit down!

[Black.]

I was on the tram a few years ago on the way to Croydon. This frail old woman in her late 60's gets up to get off the tram and as she's walking, the tram jolts and this woman hits the deck hard ala Jurgen Klinsman. There's bare skool kids around and everyones smirking slightly. Next ting you know, another old woman in her 60s jumps up from her seat on some Hero flex trying to help this woman who is just slumped on the floor. I don't know how, but this woman trips up and does a 5 star frog splash right on top of the poor woman lying on the floor. At this moment, me and all my friends are in tears- I managed to hold it down for the 1st fall, but 2 people in a heap on the floor was too much for me to take.

The tram still hasn't stopped yet, there is no one helping these women and they are literally rolling around in pain- (it looked a bit like 2 WWF wrestlers trying to recover from a stone cold stunner). When we eventually get to the next stop, they are still on the floor- people actually stepped over these 2 women to get on & off the tram. In the end, they managed to compose themselves, and got off the stop after that- they thanked each other and went their seperate ways.

funniest thing I've ever seen on public transport.

You man are waste for neggin him

Story was jokes

[Captain Planet]

Though whilst not on the train

Today I got off the train and some fat woman was smoking infront on me, were walking towards the road and cross onto some island, as I got closer to overtake she blew it the direction I was walking in

I said some f*ckery out loud along the lines of "Don't blow smoke in my face or those wont be what kill you"

At that moment she just randomly fell into the road and nearly got run over, with some petrified look on her face looking at me, she couldn't get up.

Accidently juju'd the woman.

Made my day though.

[2deal2]

Love those bars - u should use them for a track