Marriage

[Michel Kane]

Your graphs aren't going to help you meet a potential wife at 38, that's too late.

Options will be limited by then too.

Too late? Lol.

Limited?

Ohhhhhh, you're trying to find other women of similar ages? Good luck with that.

[Mame Biram Diouf]

Why does not being monogamous with 1 woman over 40-50 years make you weak?

 

This thread is about marriage? and the prequel to that which I'd hope would be a serious relationship

 

I said cheating is weak

 

Fuck all that innate and biology stuff for many reasons too

 

End of the day we have the cognitive ability to have a rational and conscious decision before cheating, if you cannot turn down the chance to have sexual intercourse with another female while in a relationship you don't deserve a good, loyal woman

 

Would you be understanding if your wife/mother of your child had sex with other men while you are still together? 

[Mame Biram Diouf]

To compare human beings to animals is not that far off! If you can look at the myriad of animals and see that not all of them are "this way or that way", that there are differences, then what would be so different about us? I do believe that for SOME marriage is monogamous and for OTHERS it may not be. People forget that in a relationship feelings, circumstances, expectations, visions, dreams, all shift and transcend. Transcendence can include someone you married for "love."

 

Nothing in this world in our entire existence is constant, expect death! People change, it's when that happens we need to be more cognizant of expressing those changes to our partner, honestly and openly. Most marriages fail not because of a deceitful partner but because there was a lack of true understanding and compatibility.

 

Society does not teach us how to have successful marriages, how to communicate, how to build, how to tell the truth, how to be open, how to resolve conflict. Nor does it teach us what to look for in viable partnerships with others, or to even know and love ourselves. MARRIAGE in this country is BIG BUSINESS! It's a BILLION $$$$ industry, with all the trappings included.

 

But no one teaches you what to expect when it comes to good old human RELATING. Sex is just a very small fraction of what it takes to be compatible in a marriage, there is so much MORE than just the primal urge to procreate (what ANIMALS DO IN THE ANIMAL KINGDOM) vs true team work and MATING. Human beings also have sex to EXPERIENCE PLEASURE. Let's be honest, not all of the animals on the discovery channel are capable of hooking up for just pleasure! Finally, marriage has changed since the 18th century! Loveless marriages were set up for families to continue prosperity and wealth. It was a power game. Not just done in Europe either, Africa did it too. Let's not also forget that WOMEN were considered PROPERTY and were treated as CHILDREN. The husband took control and power over her wealth and her family name, she was left to understand she was being taken care of and nothing more.

 

So, if I had to choose which era I would want to get shacked up in, it would be THIS one. We are powerful in our own right and abuse is not my thing. I believe that marriage is what YOU AND YOUR PARTNER make of it, how you look at yourselves as individuals and how you mesh when you come together as a whole. It's about mutual maturity, friendship and vision, it's about unity. It's about respect, trust and honesty. If I can have all of that.. then I would call that entire mix, love.

 

Found someone post this somewhere else

 

Pretty much agree with that

[Michel Kane]

Why does not being monogamous with 1 woman over 40-50 years make you weak?

This thread is about marriage? and the prequel to that which I'd hope would be a serious relationship

I said cheating is weak

f*ck all that innate and biology stuff for many reasons too

End of the day we have the cognitive ability to have a rational and conscious decision before cheating, if you cannot turn down the chance to have sexual intercourse with another female while in a relationship you don't deserve a good, loyal woman

Would you be understanding if your wife/mother of your child had sex with other men while you are still together?

Yes I would, if I didn't do what I was supposed to in terms of being a husband & a man.

Love is never unconditional.

Marriage is essentially a contract so IF I failed to meet those conditions, I'd fully understand albeit over time & past initial anger/ resentment.

[Mame Biram Diouf]

If you are seeing marriage as a ''contract''

 

Of course resentment is going to grow

 

Should be an organic occurrence that you are both mutually seeking to be the cherry on top of a cake you have already made with all the right ingredients mixed together inside, not a forced piece of legislation you reluctantly accept to keep your woman happy 

[Mame Biram Diouf]

Anyway almost 5 I am gone

[Michel Kane]

If you are seeing marriage as a ''contract''

 

Of course resentment is going to grow

 

Should be an organic occurrence that you are both mutually seeking to be the cherry on top of a cake you have already made with all the right ingredients mixed together inside, not a forced piece of legislation you reluctantly accept to keep your woman happy 

Whether you're speaking about it in a concrete sense or in some esoteric form, a marriage is still a 'contract'. An agreement, regardless of being expressed explicitly or implicitly on terms & conditions decided by the two people involved.

Slow down & don't assume I'm purely talking about a piece of paper.

[KayGee]

End of the day we have the cognitive ability to have a rational and conscious decision before cheating, if you cannot turn down the chance to have sexual intercourse with another female while in a relationship you don't deserve a good, loyal woman

 

Would you be understanding if your wife/mother of your child had sex with other men while you are still together? 

Exactly.

I find it really depressing that young men feel a lifestyle of many women and choices is much more fulfilling than the love and commitment to a lifetime with one woman. There's no better feeling in the world than feeling loved and being in love, completely. Sharing life experience and children together where it's most natural.

Settle down at 40 after playing around for 20 years, expect a younger wife with no baggage to now trust me and remain faithful to me. Look after my kids the same way I could when I was 28, forgetting that they take every inch of sanity. Presume of course I will have no issues or delays with the above, whilst forgetting how warped my mind will now be.

Good luck with those plans, I imagine that's how a 16 year old pans his future.

[Michel Kane]

Lol

End of the day we have the cognitive ability to have a rational and conscious decision before cheating, if you cannot turn down the chance to have sexual intercourse with another female while in a relationship you don't deserve a good, loyal woman

 Would you be understanding if your wife/mother of your child had sex with other men while you are still together? 

Exactly.

I find it really depressing that young men feel a lifestyle of many women and choices is much more fulfilling than the love and commitment to a lifetime with one woman. There's no better feeling in the world than feeling loved and being in love, completely. Sharing life experience and children together where it's most natural.

Settle down at 40 after playing around for 20 years, expect a younger wife with no baggage to now trust me and remain faithful to me. Look after my kids the same way I could when I was 28, forgetting that they take every inch of sanity. Presume of course I will have no issues or delays with the above, whilst forgetting how warped my mind will now be.

Good luck with those plans, I imagine that's how a 16 year old pans his future.

That last paragraph is very, very silly. Lol.

[KayGee]

Of course, as the whole concept is. 

[Captain Planet]

lol MK

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charlie_Sheen

 

I'm out

[Badman]

reading some interesting points in this thread however imo there isnt much substance in it. More than anything people here are just trying to justify their current lifestyle and are afraid of long term commitment

 

Its not for everyone I guess but you really do need to look at the bigger picture 

[Michel Kane]

Of course, as the whole concept is. 

Yet you've demonstrated being incapable of actually providing a balanced, counter-argument. Instead you've spewed frivolous drivel whilst completely missing the point.

[Michel Kane]

reading some interesting points in this thread however imo there isnt much substance in it. More than anything people here are just trying to justify their current lifestyle and are afraid of long term commitment

 

Its not for everyone I guess but you really do need to look at the bigger picture 

Be specific.

[Michel Kane]

lol MK

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charlie_Sheen

 

I'm out

A man suffering from alcohol & drug abuse. What point are you trying to illustrate bro?

[KayGee]

What points have I missed?

[Michel Kane]

1. Showing patience in commitment isn't about 'playing' around for 20 years. It's anything but in fact.

2. The end goal is about providing your partner & your children with a better quality man. A more fulfilled one.

You don't have to agree with anything I say, but if you are going to engage with me or what I do say, providing a well-constructed counter-argument isn't an unreasonable thing to ask for.

[local]

paha yess michael kane

[Haze-e]

1. Showing patience in commitment isn't about 'playing' around for 20 years. It's anything but in fact.

2. The end goal is about providing your partner & your children with a better quality man. A more fulfilled one.

You don't have to agree with anything I say, but if you are going to engage with me or what I do say, providing a well-constructed counter-argument isn't an unreasonable thing to ask for.

Devils advocate for discussion purposes but what's wrong with developing with your partner, and ending up as the 'better quality man' whilst still being monogamous?

[Michel Kane]

It's possible but still unrealistic.

A big requirement of this period of development is having as much freedom as possible. Being able to make a variety of big life decisions without having to take someone else into account. An easy example is travelling or being away for sustained periods of time.

And in my opinion, it's best to master as much 'self' as possible before you being committed to someone in the long run. Something that most men don't even come close to doing in their 20's. That's just an added anecdote though, no quantitative or qualitative evidence to support.

[KayGee]

^^

 

Pretty much everything i've been saying. (haze)

 

Not gonna get into it with a smart arse when its really not that complex. 

[Wavant]

I'm a product of Kane's 'theory'.

I've seen how successful it is and it's no surprise I'm following the blueprint (No Oscar).

[KayGee]

More interesting to me is why you seasoned men don't find it just as important that a female has given herself the same treatment.

[Michel Kane]

^^

 

Pretty much everything i've been saying. (haze)

 

Not gonna get into it with a smart arse when its really not that complex. 

I find that funny considering at no point have you even alluded to the point Haze has just made & still not provided any sort of insight on this part of the debate.

It's ok though, your instincts as a female is supposed to be opposed to what I'm saying, I expected no less. Medicine isn't supposed to taste nice.

[Michel Kane]

More interesting to me is why you seasoned men don't find it just as important that a female has given herself the same treatment.

This right here clearly demonstrates that you have not paid attention & answered quite emotionally.

Like I said earlier, a high value man, one who fulfils his 'potential' is something that takes many, many years.

A high value woman, in the context of which we speak of, doesn't need to be over 25 years old, because the primary qualities men desire have already been acquired by then.