Those "When will the ground swallow me up?" moments

[Guest haze-e]

2 weeks ago

walkin to my boys house now n some car beeps i look up and it looks like my nxt boys car..blacked out so i cudnt rele see inside

i see him pullin up so i walk over thinkin hes gna drop me der or suttin

all dis time ders sum chick walkin behind me aswell

so ye i get up to the car - open the door n put one leg in

DEN

my man grabs my leg im thinkin wot the fuk fam - i look inside to see wagwan n i see sum yardie man wit da meanest screwface ever

den i hear a girls voice say "excuse me" i look behind n finally clock the guy stopped for her d ting walkin behind me

i move out the way and she gets in n d car jus speeds of tires screechin everyting im left der standin as a couple cars drive past

felt like sh*t

Gahahahhahaha

Didnt see this thread the first time. Tooooo jokes.

[Guest haze-e]

Couple years back sitting on a bus opposite this overly attractive female.

She looks in my direction and says "hi sexy, hows things?"

me shocked as this female was well out of league answers back "Im cool yano babe, just chillin and dat"

to which she pointed at her handsfree ear piece with a plainface.

me

Bahahhahahahhaha

[A Bit Better]

One time in the canteen in college I was chattin with my bethrenz about some new ting in the college thats supposed to be loose and this other boy was chillin with us.

Apparrently it happened to be his sis and my bethrenz knew.. Then next thing all my bethrenz did the 'ooops ohh sh*t look'.

There is me still ranting on about the girl and they started poiting towards the boy, the I clocked and the dude was looking straight at me. Eyes blod shot red. He was close to tears. One of them easy going guys...

SSSSSSHHEEEZ!.. I was speechless after. Felt like getting swallowed into the ground.

You from Devon fam?

Oh shame, I called man out on it 2 years ago as well

LMAO. Cannot make your peace with it.

[Lieutenant]

two years ago u know.

Nuts alie

/

Didn't know Afroman was a freshie.

[Guest Triple XXX]

here's one that happened to me a lil while ago

turns out she had jus broken up with her boyfriend

ahh well

not as bad as some in here

[Guest Triple XXX]

Couple years back sitting on a bus opposite this overly attractive female.

She looks in my direction and says "hi sexy, hows things?"

me shocked as this female was well out of league answers back "Im cool yano babe, just chillin and dat"

to which she pointed at her handsfree ear piece with a plainface.

me

Bahahhahahahhaha

this has got me laughin real hard

[Frank.]

[Alejandro Sosa]

two years ago u know.

What i was thinking

[Heero Yuy]

here's one that happened to me a lil while ago

turns out she had jus broken up with her boyfriend

ahh well

not as bad as some in here

lmaooooo dave

nice to see you've upgraded from wombraider

[Guest Triple XXX]

had to, my mum n sister are on facebook

they didnt say anything about the name, but boy i jus couldnt have it up with them there

[Project Mayhem]

Haha at some of these.

A couple of years back I went into the toilets at the station, walked in at the same time as this woman. Smiled at each other, and went into neighbouring cubicles.

Been in there about 20 seconds, when the woman says "hello". So I'm sat there, a bit unsure, but answer, "Hi". Then she says "so how are you?". At this point I was thinking who is this mad woman, but didn't want to seem rude so I said "I'm OK thanks, yourself?"

Could have died when she then said: "Hang on mate, I'll talk to you later. Some weirdo in the toilet keeps trying to talk to me over the f*ck*ng wall."

Who the hell sits in a public toilet on their mobile?!

[Necksta]

lmfaooo

[Heero Yuy]

:lol:

[Guest Triple XXX]

LMFAO

[thinkingthuglife]

Asked if I could have 2kg of chicken and a kilogram of sausages in a halal butchers. there woz a 3 second silence which felt like 3 hrs then the owner said sorry brother we don't sell anything of a pig.

had a bit of sweat on my face waiting for them 2 weigh up chicken. then bounced afta payin.

[Lieutenant]

Haha at some of these.

A couple of years back I went into the toilets at the station, walked in at the same time as this woman. Smiled at each other, and went into neighbouring cubicles.

Been in there about 20 seconds, when the woman says "hello". So I'm sat there, a bit unsure, but answer, "Hi". Then she says "so how are you?". At this point I was thinking who is this mad woman, but didn't want to seem rude so I said "I'm OK thanks, yourself?"

Could have died when she then said: "Hang on mate, I'll talk to you later. Some weirdo in the toilet keeps trying to talk to me over the f*ck*ng wall."

Who the hell sits in a public toilet on their mobile?!

LOOOOL

[Frank.]

lol funny stuff.

/

Was baffed for a sec as to why mayhem was in the womans toilets, then clocked.

[Project Mayhem]

Haha at some of these.A couple of years back I went into the toilets at the station, walked in at the same time as this woman. Smiled at each other, and went into neighbouring cubicles.Been in there about 20 seconds, when the woman says "hello". So I'm sat there, a bit unsure, but answer, "Hi". Then she says "so how are you?". At this point I was thinking who is this mad woman, but didn't want to seem rude so I said "I'm OK thanks, yourself?"Could have died when she then said: "Hang on mate, I'll talk to you later. Some weirdo in the toilet keeps trying to talk to me over the f*ck*ng wall."Who the hell sits in a public toilet on their mobile?!

LOOOOL U MADEEEE THIS UP OR THIS IS THE WINNER

I wish I had! Had to sit in there for 10 minutes to make sure she'd definitely left and I didn't have to face her at the sinks. My face still burns up when I remember it.

[A Bit Better]

Haha at some of these.

A couple of years back I went into the toilets at the station, walked in at the same time as this woman. Smiled at each other, and went into neighbouring cubicles.

Been in there about 20 seconds, when the woman says "hello". So I'm sat there, a bit unsure, but answer, "Hi". Then she says "so how are you?". At this point I was thinking who is this mad woman, but didn't want to seem rude so I said "I'm OK thanks, yourself?"

Could have died when she then said: "Hang on mate, I'll talk to you later. Some weirdo in the toilet keeps trying to talk to me over the f*ck*ng wall."

Who the hell sits in a public toilet on their mobile?!

LOOOOL U MADEEEE THIS UP OR THIS IS THE WINNER

Bait fake.

[Black Ant]

im sure you've told that story before

[Project Mayhem]

Haha at some of these.

A couple of years back I went into the toilets at the station, walked in at the same time as this woman. Smiled at each other, and went into neighbouring cubicles.

Been in there about 20 seconds, when the woman says "hello". So I'm sat there, a bit unsure, but answer, "Hi". Then she says "so how are you?". At this point I was thinking who is this mad woman, but didn't want to seem rude so I said "I'm OK thanks, yourself?"

Could have died when she then said: "Hang on mate, I'll talk to you later. Some weirdo in the toilet keeps trying to talk to me over the f*ck*ng wall."

Who the hell sits in a public toilet on their mobile?!

LOOOOL U MADEEEE THIS UP OR THIS IS THE WINNER

Bait fake.

I'm not sad enough to make something like that up. Unfortunately, it happened.

[Vertigo]

Swear i've heard that story before.

[thinkingthuglife]

were u in womans toilets? most man stand up 2 piss. wtf

[Heero Yuy]

Shes a woman bro

[Grafter]

Swear i've heard that story before.

same