Need an excuse

[Guest DN Braund]

embarassing illnessdiarrhoea n all that, theyre bound to not question it or ask to go into detailbereavement, dnt say family doe, use someone u dont like and make out they wer ur best friend for the past however many years and you just need a day or 2 to deal with it

[Grafter]

i would jus start with'i cant come in today'an they may jus say ok an put the phone downthen if they oo whyy'im not feeling very well'opefully they put the phone downthen if they probe, whats wrong with u'upset stomach, runny belly'i think with work, the key is to say as little as possible

[DRC]

with work, the key is to say as little as possible, but just enough for them to believe you and f*ck off

[M.Dot]

i think with work, the key is to say as little as possible

c/s. One time I did this though, with our new at the time deputy manager... he wasnt having it. Me: Hi andy, I wont be able 2 come in today why? Me: I'm ill What's wrong Me: I'm just not feeling well, I've been throwing up throughout the night, I've got a headache and I just feel sick why? (why are you throwing up you know) Me: I don't know Did you go out last night? Me: Yeh I went to a resturaunt(I didn't plan this, mans questions making me make up sh*t on the spot) Who did you go out with? Me: My family What did you eat? Me: Indian What did they eat, did you have the same as them? Me: Yeh And are they being sick? Me: No, they're fine Why not if they ate what you had? Me: They ate indian, I didn't say we ordered the same thing do you think theres a chance of you coming in later on Me: No I don't think so. Well if you don't come in you'll have to face a disciplinary when you come back, I recommend you come in(obviously if i say I'll come in I was lying).(Bare questions, I was starting to get vex.)We're going to be short staffed now Luke will be in on his ownWell I'm ill, I phoned up to let you know I don't know what else you want me to doAlot of people lie about being i'll so we have to make sure that you were illMe: To be honest I dont feel well and I dont appreciate you questioning me on the phone for 5 minutes when I should be in bed trying to get better.(He backs down abit, said something else I cant remember)Okay, if you don't come in you'll have to get a drs note Me: I don't feel like I can go to the drs Well you'll have to get a drs note otherwise it will go down as an unauthorised absence Me: Are doctors even open on sundays, I don't think they are. Well... you'll have to get one and bring it in when you come in next Me: okay (must be nuts, i'm not goin drs)I'd appreciate it if you could let me know if you can come in later onMe: Well at the moment I don't feel like I'll be able to come in but I'll ring you at lunch time and let you know if I feel better or not to come in.That was the end of it, called up lunch time told him I cant come in.If it was the actual manager I wouldnt have had to say more than "I've been throwing up all night and this morning too".

[motty]

your dying

[Grafter]

i think with work, the key is to say as little as possible

c/s. One time I did this though, with our new at the time deputy manager... he wasnt having it. Me: Hi andy, I wont be able 2 come in today why? Me: I'm ill What's wrong Me: I'm just not feeling well, I've been throwing up throughout the night, I've got a headache and I just feel sick why? (why are you throwing up you know) Me: I don't know Did you go out last night? Me: Yeh I went to a resturaunt(I didn't plan this, mans questions making me make up sh*t on the spot) Who did you go out with? Me: My family What did you eat? Me: Indian What did they eat, did you have the same as them? Me: Yeh And are they being sick? Me: No, they're fine Why not if they ate what you had? Me: They ate indian, I didn't say we ordered the same thing do you think theres a chance of you coming in later on Me: No I don't think so. Well if you don't come in you'll have to face a disciplinary when you come back, I recommend you come in(obviously if i say I'll come in I was lying).(Bare questions, I was starting to get vex.)We're going to be short staffed now Luke will be in on his ownWell I'm ill, I phoned up to let you know I don't know what else you want me to doAlot of people lie about being i'll so we have to make sure that you were illMe: To be honest I dont feel well and I dont appreciate you questioning me on the phone for 5 minutes when I should be in bed trying to get better.(He backs down abit, said something else I cant remember)Okay, if you don't come in you'll have to get a drs note Me: I don't feel like I can go to the drs Well you'll have to get a drs note otherwise it will go down as an unauthorised absence Me: Are doctors even open on sundays, I don't think they are. Well... you'll have to get one and bring it in when you come in next Me: okay (must be nuts, i'm not goin drs)I'd appreciate it if you could let me know if you can come in later onMe: Well at the moment I don't feel like I'll be able to come in but I'll ring you at lunch time and let you know if I feel better or not to come in.That was the end of it, called up lunch time told him I cant come in.If it was the actual manager I wouldnt have had to say more than "I've been throwing up all night and this morning too".

LMFAOcant stand these jobs worthsan certain time even if i am lyin, its a cheek that the person on the other line could think im lyin

[M.Dot]

"I have to take my nan to the airport"This one worked sick.Told them I booked the day off long ago for a holiday(which I didn't), and thought it was authorised.They can't deny my nan her flight, there was nothing they could do apart from 'can you come in afterwards?'Well I have to get her to the airport for 230, and then drop my aunt back home in south london.Just said okay and thats it.They did try following it up as unauthorised absence after hunting for the imaginary holiday form...but flopped, and I got paid for the day too.

[zeezee]

the water in your house has stopped working over night, and have to wait for an emergency plumber

[M.Dot]

i think with work, the key is to say as little as possible

c/s. One time I did this though, with our new at the time deputy manager... he wasnt having it. Me: Hi andy, I wont be able 2 come in today why? Me: I'm ill What's wrong Me: I'm just not feeling well, I've been throwing up throughout the night, I've got a headache and I just feel sick why? (why are you throwing up you know) Me: I don't know Did you go out last night? Me: Yeh I went to a resturaunt(I didn't plan this, mans questions making me make up sh*t on the spot) Who did you go out with? Me: My family What did you eat? Me: Indian What did they eat, did you have the same as them? Me: Yeh And are they being sick? Me: No, they're fine Why not if they ate what you had? Me: They ate indian, I didn't say we ordered the same thing do you think theres a chance of you coming in later on Me: No I don't think so. Well if you don't come in you'll have to face a disciplinary when you come back, I recommend you come in(obviously if i say I'll come in I was lying).(Bare questions, I was starting to get vex.)We're going to be short staffed now Luke will be in on his ownWell I'm ill, I phoned up to let you know I don't know what else you want me to doAlot of people lie about being i'll so we have to make sure that you were illMe: To be honest I dont feel well and I dont appreciate you questioning me on the phone for 5 minutes when I should be in bed trying to get better.(He backs down abit, said something else I cant remember)Okay, if you don't come in you'll have to get a drs note Me: I don't feel like I can go to the drs Well you'll have to get a drs note otherwise it will go down as an unauthorised absence Me: Are doctors even open on sundays, I don't think they are. Well... you'll have to get one and bring it in when you come in next Me: okay (must be nuts, i'm not goin drs)I'd appreciate it if you could let me know if you can come in later onMe: Well at the moment I don't feel like I'll be able to come in but I'll ring you at lunch time and let you know if I feel better or not to come in.That was the end of it, called up lunch time told him I cant come in.If it was the actual manager I wouldnt have had to say more than "I've been throwing up all night and this morning too".

LMFAOcant stand these jobs worthsan certain time even if i am lyin, its a cheek that the person on the other line could think im lyin

lol exactly, I got pissed thinking why is he questioning me when I'm "ill", even though I was fine.

[bladerunner]

just say lady issues

[NO SUNSHINE]

i think with work, the key is to say as little as possible

c/s. One time I did this though, with our new at the time deputy manager... he wasnt having it. Me: Hi andy, I wont be able 2 come in today why? Me: I'm ill What's wrong Me: I'm just not feeling well, I've been throwing up throughout the night, I've got a headache and I just feel sick why? (why are you throwing up you know) Me: I don't know Did you go out last night? Me: Yeh I went to a resturaunt(I didn't plan this, mans questions making me make up sh*t on the spot) Who did you go out with? Me: My family What did you eat? Me: Indian What did they eat, did you have the same as them? Me: Yeh And are they being sick? Me: No, they're fine Why not if they ate what you had? Me: They ate indian, I didn't say we ordered the same thing do you think theres a chance of you coming in later on Me: No I don't think so. Well if you don't come in you'll have to face a disciplinary when you come back, I recommend you come in(obviously if i say I'll come in I was lying).(Bare questions, I was starting to get vex.)We're going to be short staffed now Luke will be in on his ownWell I'm ill, I phoned up to let you know I don't know what else you want me to doAlot of people lie about being i'll so we have to make sure that you were illMe: To be honest I dont feel well and I dont appreciate you questioning me on the phone for 5 minutes when I should be in bed trying to get better.(He backs down abit, said something else I cant remember)Okay, if you don't come in you'll have to get a drs note Me: I don't feel like I can go to the drs Well you'll have to get a drs note otherwise it will go down as an unauthorised absence Me: Are doctors even open on sundays, I don't think they are. Well... you'll have to get one and bring it in when you come in next Me: okay (must be nuts, i'm not goin drs)I'd appreciate it if you could let me know if you can come in later onMe: Well at the moment I don't feel like I'll be able to come in but I'll ring you at lunch time and let you know if I feel better or not to come in.That was the end of it, called up lunch time told him I cant come in.If it was the actual manager I wouldnt have had to say more than "I've been throwing up all night and this morning too".

LMFAO at this. Who did you go out with? Me: My family What did you eat? Me: Indian What did they eat, did you have the same as them? Me: Yeh And are they being sick? Me: No, they're fine Why not if they ate what you had? Me: They ate indian, I didn't say we ordered the same thingLMFAO

[Sergei Malatov]

bossman taking this for secondary school

[M.Dot]

just say lady issues

Tryna par the thread starter?

[The Cookie Monster]

ninjas stole your mums wedding ringand you need kung fu lessons from mr meyogito avenge your family honor and to get the ring back

Trust, this one works everytime. Just make sure to alternate the missing item between various valuable family possesions each time you use it.

[bladerunner]

just say lady issues

Tryna par the thread starter?

Nah, cos if he says that, they might think he's a shemale and won't pursue what for them may be an embarrassing line of questions

[Badman]

jus say ur illdoesnt matter what the excuse is its all a formality...everyone takes sick days your work EXPECTS you to do it

[Lurch]

If you don't mind being bareface and don't feel bad about it then...Just ring in and say you just got a phone call your sisters been taken sick at the hospital, been throwing up and all sorts so she was forced to leave her two/three year old son with you.When you go back to work just say hospital said it was a virus and discharged her later that day and that should be the end of it.That way they got to give you Dependency Leave, there's a two/three year old you gotta look after at stake so they think.The bed ones risky, what if they say well you should have had it delivered elsewhere or at a different time or given them advance notice etc. you can't leave that on the day.

[Greens]

Don't use a delivery excuse its up to you to arrange it for one of your days off. I would go with emergency plumber cos your boiler stopped working last night and you haven't got any hot water/heating, they can't expect you to go without heat during winter.Also don't let some d*ckhead department manager try bully you by saying you need to get a doctors note, cos with companies you don't need a doctors note for 1 days absence.