Does settling for Mr Good Enough make sense?

[gemma]

I would never marry a doctor ever. I've always agreed that men + woman aren't equal. But I've been raised with the notion that as a black woman in this day and age I have to overexcel in order to even be concieved as an eqaul candidate to my peers. Under this ideal you spend your whole life so concerned with overachieving that nothing else matters. All I wanted at 18 was to be top 3 selected in my class at uni. Now four years later comes a broadened focus, I'm now aware of other things I want that I wasn't aware of when I applied to university. Only time will tell. All I know is what I've been through this academic year alone means I'm seeing this through and I'll face the consquences of this dream when I graduate and life hits me in the face. I'm still sheltered whilst at uni.

It's funny because my friend wants to go into law and said she would never marry a solicitor because on her vacation placement all the dudes were ugly and there were hardly any black men. she said she'd marry a doctor though i tried to tell her that a doctor is always gonna be at work as well, but she seems to think that would be betteri went to a panel discussion at an investment bank 3 years ago and i asked the panel if anyone was married or had kids (which is actually a rude question when i look back lol) and only one dude had kids. none of the women had any or were married and they looked in their late 30s. RED FLAGi think you should focus on trying to find a man now, so at least if it all goes tits up you still have your eggs

[Supermalt]

i think from this we can all agree the traditional family >>>i would never marry a woman that has no time for me, ain't even trying to sound selfish but what would be the point being married then?there has to be balance tho, ambitious women to me are attractive.

[KayGee]

You can never determind how you will feel about someone in the future, there are so many aspects that make us who we are and desirable to eachother that the littlest things could make or break the line of balance. Finding Mr. Right and starting a relationship based on how you would expect to want things to be and how u would like your man to be can end up uncovering a different side to 'Mr. Right'.I agree with whoever said we grow in relationships, lifes to short to wait around for someone you think will be perfect for u. Everyone has been in a situation where you end up liking someone way more than you expected to in the beginning, it all runs along the same lines. If you are happy in your relationship then you will bring out the best in eachother... how can it get much better than that?

[Guest Lisa Turtle]

Gemma tell your friend to marry a gp/dentist.You're scaring me tbh. I'm not concerned about meeting a husband worthy man. My issue is what do I do with him. I don't have racial limitations either so if you're on my wavelength it doesn't matter what colour you are. However my worry lies in where and when I'm gonna get married and be able to have children. Of course its not impossible. But what I want for myself, the goals I've set, they're not attainable without working extremely hard.

[VENOM]

Rather, women don’t know how to manage their own expectations when it comes to looking for a suitable man. Single women often declare they’d “rather be alone” than settle for someone who doesn’t fill out their (usually unrealistic) checklist. Gottlieb’s advice is: think carefully, ladies. Because, with that mentality, alone is how you’re probably going to end up.“Feminism gave women this sense of entitlement that we deserve someone who’s perfect. And then we meet the so-called perfect guy and he’s out of our league and has no interest in us and we tell our girlfriends, ‘He must be secretly gay’ when in fact he’s just really not that into us,” she says.

all women should memorise this

[Grafter]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A4bu_6yUg4Y

[gemma]

Gemma tell your friend to marry a gp/dentist.You're scaring me tbh. I'm not concerned about meeting a husband worthy man. My issue is what do I do with him. I don't have racial limitations either so if you're on my wavelength it doesn't matter what colour you are. However my worry lies in where and when I'm gonna get married and be able to have children. Of course its not impossible. But what I want for myself, the goals I've set, they're not attainable without working extremely hard.

you need to figure something out because the chances of down syndrome and other sh*t increases as you get oldermaybe you should just marry someones baby father LOL

[Aquaman]

lol @ mr good enoughYEAH YOU WISH

[Bruno Di Gradi]

with most chicksif u give them a good enough f*ck they become oblivious too all your negatives.In reality you might not even be Mr Good Enough but the sex is like a smokescreen.

[Guest Lisa Turtle]

Gemma tell your friend to marry a gp/dentist.You're scaring me tbh. I'm not concerned about meeting a husband worthy man. My issue is what do I do with him. I don't have racial limitations either so if you're on my wavelength it doesn't matter what colour you are. However my worry lies in where and when I'm gonna get married and be able to have children. Of course its not impossible. But what I want for myself, the goals I've set, they're not attainable without working extremely hard.

you need to figure something out because the chances of down syndrome and other sh*t increases as you get oldermaybe you should just marry someones baby father LOL

I will never be with a man that had kids with another woman. Can't do it. I know all the possible complications of having children at a later age.

[Hernandez Balcazar]

Boy, it's like I tell youngers around me. Getting chicks round 17-25 ain't sh*t. Wait until you hit 26 upwards. If you're about anything at all, sh*t becomes unfair.Men peak later than women do in terms of desirability. Alot of young women don't take that into account & are pissed when men exercise options that weren't there before.

[MARLO STANSFIELD]

Ahh...Well, I still think having unrealistic expectations are problems for successful women. They may not be the SAME expectations as those of an 'average' woman, but still just unrealistic.For example, a pretty 28yr old, single mother of 2, working a regular admin' job may think she can still bag a city banker, good looks, own car, own house, no kids, no criminal background etc. That's unrealistic.On the flip side, a pretty 28yr old woman, no kids, runs her own company, independent, etc can actually GET the guy mentioned above. The unrealistic expectation on her part would be that she thinks her status is the reason he's with her & forgets that this man can get all kinds of women.My point is that alot of women believe that their income, occupation, status entitles them to a certain calibre of men, not understanding that the things that make women attractive, aren't the same things that make men attractive.If that makes sense.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wCoI-B9AYjs&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CceuXP-azAo

[Angelo]

quicky as he left face off swoops back in

[Guest Lisa Turtle]

I've been mulling over what MK said about high achieving women thinking they are entitled to a certain kind of man.In your opinion, what are they entitled to?And what kind of woman is in turn deserving of a high flying man?

[Angelo]

that's all long.compatibility ftw.im bang on this "take every situation differently" vibe now.being hotheaded has lost me so many situations in the past.stopped and now they're coming left right and centre

[Michel Kane]

I've been mulling over what MK said about high achieving women thinking they are entitled to a certain kind of man.In your opinion, what are they entitled to?And what kind of woman is in turn deserving of a high flying man?

In the context of relationships, just because you excel in professional settings, why would that automatically entitle you to someone of good character? The only thing being good at your job should entitle you to, is good money & good job prospects. This goes for both men & women. However, the traits shown in high-flying people are NATURALLY attractive to women. This isn't the case in the reverse.Women in this position, should evaluate what they bring to the table as a WOMAN. Your job/money doesn't say anything about your womanhood. I can respect you as an ADULT, but Corporate Catherine isn't maternal. She isn't supportive. She doesn't exude the qualities that attract men to women as life partners.Men are here to gain. Women are here to maintain.

[Guest Lisa Turtle]

Cool. This is the type of answer I was hoping for and I completely agree.I think it is possible to have that ballsy attitude at work and be womanly and maternal at home. You just have to be able to compartmentalise. I don't think a lot of these hard working women realise this.