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JOHN DOE

By JOHN DOE
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Captain Planet Newbie

Captain Planet

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read some of the london ones.....quite clearly written by victims and trolls.....some of them are jokes though

Enfield

To be honest I really don’t know where to start. This borough is full of absolute idiots; i grew up a road off edmonton and from the age of around 16/17 realised it would always be an uphill struggle to reside here. Edmonton is essentially the ‘urban’ part of the borough,what ever that means. It consists of an upper and a lower section. The vast majority of people I know from here believe the world owes them something. These characters enjoying stabbing/shooting/burning each other and their idea of a conversation is merely making self absorbed statements about how they indeed live a gangster streetlife like Pablo Escobar. Alternatively some of the residents have twee evocations about olde london where ‘people were decent’ and these lot, at bottom, support the bnp. The ‘gangsters’ in many cases buy exceptional cars on hire purchase but reduce them to trash by modifications, usually the dangerous as edmonton/Tottenham. Tottenham will be dealt with subsequently when I write about Haringey.

Enfield town is more of your run of the mill ‘eastenders’ style chav paradise, like a mini romford… At times the edmonton ‘gangsters’ end up there but in more cases than others its strictly inhabited by single mums and 14 year old kids with excessive spiky hair and four earings, at times rhyming cockney slang is used and people there only like only r & b music. You know what it isnt even just the way these people look that bothers me, I have shaved hair and wear clothes that aren’t exactly aristocratic; its more the pointless reaffirmation of how you should live a pointless life with no ambition. A perfect example can be drawn from a nightclub called eros.Which is now closed. Enfield town is the most annoying place on the planet and should be evacuated and then carpet bombed.

Southgate is if anything for some strange reason treated like a St tropez almost marbella part of the borough; arseholes in new bmws with black tinted pound cars and have friends from Edmonton.

Winchmore Hill is simply a no mans land of boredom. Many of the people from the aforementioned areas use this as a place to ‘link’ [aka meet eachother in a social context] It masqurades as middle class but there are some A1 scumbags living here – dodgy characters….

Oakwood, again, is essentially an underground station with a few shops/restaurants. Its quite middle class, from my experience people from here are the same connected to it. The sorts of people that dwell here and in brimsdown are killers in the making. Unreasonable, aggresive 28 year old kids. I’d say there is a strong case that these people may even have guns or other sorts of calvary/perhaps a light infantry that could be used in a warlike campaign.

All in all its a terrible borough, the irony of it all is that it seems to be the british mentality to behave like this. When I return I will be discussing the borough of Haringey.

And one day I will be living abroad away from all this.

Ponders End, Enfield wash are as bad as edmonton and geographically connected to it. The sorts of people that dwell here and in brimsdown are killers in the making. Unreasonable, aggresive 28 year old kids. I’d say there is a strong case that these people may even have guns or other sorts of calvary/perhaps a light infantry that could be used in a warlike campaign

these made me laugh

edit

Canary Wharf – Chav Free Paradise.

This site so far shows examples of how bad planning, bad retailing, and lack of compulsory national service for the terminally stupid can lead to any locality becoming infested with the sort of pond life which should normally only be fund within nuclear fallout zones.

There is hope however, and by taking just a handful of precautions, urban planners can remove the threat of ‘Chavlation’, and I site the Canary Wharf project as a classic example of this.

Canary Wharf at first might appear to be geographically disadvantaged, being as it is on the Isle of Dogs, and surrounded by the pulsating throbbing sores of uber-Chavdom; Shadwell, Millwall, Rotherhithe and basically lets face it, quite a lot of inner London. However, people visiting and working here can enjoy their working or residential lives in a clean professional environment, without the threat of being spat at, stared at, or being told to ‘fackov’ by inbreds clad in man-made fibres.

From the beginning the estate managers probably thought, “in order to attract decent corporate tenants, we must first solve the problem of all these chavs”, and they way they accomplished this was actually alarmingly simple.

Firstly, there is no Macdonald’s on the site. Chavs have been deprived of their main community focal point, and their society has failed to take root. Also the lack of Argos, Halford’s, and ghastly market stalls help to prevent most forms of ‘Chavlic Incursion’.

Another way the planners found to deter Chavs was a complete stroke of Genius; the placing of an enormous sportswear superstore safely out of earshot at Surry keys. This fine, noble selfless establishment acts like a beacon to all the transmigratory Chavs, safely luring them away from Canary Wharf. Another theory is that the vast amounts of nylon kept at the superstore generates some sort of electromagnetic field, drawing in all nylon clad objects from the surrounding areas, but whatever the reason, combining the magnetic effect with some form of dispatch (poisoned Big Macs?) is surely the way forward.

Planners of Canary Wharf, I salute you, and will be raising a (wine) glass to you this evening when I venture into one of the many Chav free bars that the estate has to offer.

and this

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