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O.Man

Please stand behind the yellow line

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One time was getting a train back from a late rave must've been new years, went into one carriage on the Jubilee line and through the double doors on the right there was bare sick on the floors and on a couple of the seats. I just jammed on the other side and every stop most people would walk in, go EEWW, and then walk away. Then you got the drunk people that didn't give a sh*t. They would practically moonwalk in the vomit and then sit down oblivious to the whole carriage going AH NO OH GOD. One guy slipped in it one time had to hold my laughter in, and there was this one girl she was so gone she came in and she was about to sit down on the vomit seat i literally stood up like NOOOO but it was too late, ah it was gross it was all on her dress she got up started touching it to see what it is she moaned very loudly then she went and sat on another seat. I wanted to stay on this train past my stop there was this one dude who stepped in it with his designer shoes lol he was pissed off.

'nother time, must've been rush hour, was trying to get on the Victoria line home but it was one of those Japanese train carriage days where you literally had to squeeze. I'm walking down the platform trying to find a carriage with a space because the others still had people seeping out. I notice this one carriage towards the end there is nobody inside, and nobody queuing to go inside. So i's like yo what is going on why is nobody using this carriage. I walk in, and i smell sh*t instantly. Look on the ground next to me, between the seats in the aisle there is this massive pile of sh*t. I lolled and walked off the carriage.

Another time i was with my friend on Piccadilly line, quite empty carriage, mid-day, a couple people sitting in front of us and this man standing with his back against us at the end of the aisle looking out the carriage window into the next carriage. We are just chatting then we notice the dude with his back against us make some groaning noise. We look up, including the people in the carriage, and notice the guy is moving his right hand up and down near his crotch. man was wanking. After sharing a few weirded out looks with the other passengers my friend starts saying sh*t, then i remember the Dave Chappelle sketch where the homeless guy is holding everyone on the bus up with his wanking, and Dave has to Matrix-style duck underneath the dudes spunk so i wasn't feeling too sharp i told my friend to allow it. We got off at Cally.

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haha.. good read.

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lol @ second story

theres sum wierd people about

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don't you people have train stories?

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They would practically moonwalk in the vomit and then sit down oblivious to the whole carriage going AH NO OH GOD

hahaha

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The other day there was a woman, looked very respectable, very pretty.. then she lifted her arm to hold on. It was a bush, i mean i doubt she has ever shaved her armpits. People started to notice and the smirks and giggles began.

Some weird man stared at me for a good 10 minutes on the tube once, i was getting pretty uncomfortable and he was sat near the door so when my stop came i just leaped up quickly but as i had one foot off the train he pulled my arm and practically lifted me back onto the train.. *gay voice* 'Your bag is gorgeous sweetie where did u find it'.

Also the normal ones where people fall over or when theres a real smelly person and everyone is giving them the look of disgust but they seem oblivious.

The sleepers that snore and dribble.

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I remb seeing this really old tramp looking dude in some next unnatural slouched position, i swear his neck was at a right angle. He didn't make a sound or move at all, apart from when the train got bumpy his neck just swung his head forward and he pretty much had his face in his crotch. Walked off the carriage convinced the guy was dead.

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Another time i was with my friend on Piccadilly line, quite empty carriage, mid-day, a couple people sitting in front of us and this man standing with his back against us at the end of the aisle looking out the carriage window into the next carriage. We are just chatting then we notice the dude with his back against us make some groaning noise. We look up, including the people in the carriage, and notice the guy is moving his right hand up and down near his crotch. man was wanking. After sharing a few weirded out looks with the other passengers my friend starts saying sh*t, then i remember the Dave Chappelle sketch where the homeless guy is holding everyone on the bus up with his wanking, and Dave has to Matrix-style duck underneath the dudes spunk so i wasn't feeling to sharp i told my friend to allow it. We got off at Cally.

Some weird man stared at me for a good 10 minutes on the tube once, i was getting pretty uncomfortable and he was sat near the door so when my stop came i just leaped up quickly but as i had one foot off the train he pulled my arm and practically lifted me back onto the train.. *gay voice* 'Your bag is gorgeous sweetie where did u find it'.

LOL

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anyone ever wonder why they put them open n close door buttons on the door when they dont do sh*t?

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Was coming back from the o2 once, got on the jubilee line and there was this drunken black chick with ehr mates and all rowdy mandem types. She didn't look to good, had her head between her legs n sh*t. Then all of a sudden this thick viscous stream of sick projected from her mouth. Obviously everyone on the train was disgusted by it, mostly vocalising their disgust... The worst part was the fact that the propulsion of the train made the vomit stream down the floor of the train, so everyone was jumping out of the way haha.

THEN, it came to their stop, they all slowly got off, she stumbled towards the door and the f*ck*ng door shut on her forehead LOL. All her mates were like "AY DRIVER MAN YOU'RE A f*ck*ng PRICK MAN OPEN THE f*ck*ng DOOR I'M GONNA f*ckIN WOT WOT WOT", she looked absolutely f*cked after that.

Funniest thing ever

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Was coming back from the o2 once, got on the jubilee line and there was this drunken black chick with ehr mates and all rowdy mandem types. She didn't look to good, had her head between her legs n sh*t. Then all of a sudden this thick viscous stream of sick projected from her mouth. Obviously everyone on the train was disgusted by it, mostly vocalising their disgust... The worst part was the fact that the propulsion of the train made the vomit stream down the floor of the train, so everyone was jumping out of the way haha.

THEN, it came to their stop, they all slowly got off, she stumbled towards the door and the f*ck*ng door shut on her forehead LOL. All her mates were like "AY DRIVER MAN YOU'RE A f*ck*ng PRICK MAN OPEN THE f*ck*ng DOOR I'M GONNA f*ckIN WOT WOT WOT", she looked absolutely f*cked after that.

Funniest thing ever

mutley2.gif

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pos for oman

LOLLING HARD @ the door shuttin on this girls forehead

kindaf*ckry?

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The other day I was on a train which was pretty much packed. As the train stopped at one station and people were rushing off, there was a really loud scream and a spillage sound (those spilling sounds that make a loud slapping echo effect on contact with the floor). Everyone turned around to see what appeared to be sh*t of an extremely watery nature sprawled out all over the ground and treakling down the leg of a lady standing by the glass panel next to the doors who was wearing a dress, which was now, might I add, sh*t stained.

Luckily for me I was on the other side of the carriage when this happened and everyone on her side of the carriage, after freezing for a split second in shock, immediately and simultaneously got up and walked to the other side of the carriage.

After screaming she tried to style it out by saying "What was that? What just happened?" But everyone knew what really happened.

When the train stopped at the next stop (the whole carriage stank of sh*t btw to the extent of everyone holding their sleeves/shirts etc over their noses) a black lady probably early to mid 60's got on the train, walked over to where the sh*t spillage was, and after a careful examination of the faeces decided to open several copies of the Evening Standard to spread on top of the mess...or the "sheet". She decided to ask the lady who was the only person on the other side of the carriage what happened to which she replied "someone getting off the train chucked something on me".

Oh yea, the sh*t spillage lady was white.

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LMAO i wish i was there, that musta been some next level scene

nothing u can do except jus sit there with ur head in ur hands

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I'm not from London but everytime i have been on the tube it is full of people "reading" the Metro.

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The other day I was on a train which was pretty much packed. As the train stopped at one station and people were rushing off, there was a really loud scream and a spillage sound (those spilling sounds that make a loud slapping echo effect on contact with the floor). Everyone turned around to see what appeared to be sh*t of an extremely watery nature sprawled out all over the ground and treakling down the leg of a lady standing by the glass panel next to the doors who was wearing a dress, which was now, might I add, sh*t stained.

Luckily for me I was on the other side of the carriage when this happened and everyone on her side of the carriage, after freezing for a split second in shock, immediately and simultaneously got up and walked to the other side of the carriage.

After screaming she tried to style it out by saying "What was that? What just happened?" But everyone knew what really happened.

When the train stopped at the next stop (the whole carriage stank of sh*t btw to the extent of everyone holding their sleeves/shirts etc over their noses) a black lady probably early to mid 60's got on the train, walked over to where the sh*t spillage was, and after a careful examination of the faeces decided to open several copies of the Evening Standard to spread on top of the mess...or the "sheet". She decided to ask the lady who was the only person on the other side of the carriage what happened to which she replied "someone getting off the train chucked something on me".

Oh yea, the sh*t spillage lady was white.

:rofl:

f*ckin ell

that black lady was decent though

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The other day I was on a train which was pretty much packed. As the train stopped at one station and people were rushing off, there was a really loud scream and a spillage sound (those spilling sounds that make a loud slapping echo effect on contact with the floor). Everyone turned around to see what appeared to be sh*t of an extremely watery nature sprawled out all over the ground and treakling down the leg of a lady standing by the glass panel next to the doors who was wearing a dress, which was now, might I add, sh*t stained.

Luckily for me I was on the other side of the carriage when this happened and everyone on her side of the carriage, after freezing for a split second in shock, immediately and simultaneously got up and walked to the other side of the carriage.

After screaming she tried to style it out by saying "What was that? What just happened?" But everyone knew what really happened.

When the train stopped at the next stop (the whole carriage stank of sh*t btw to the extent of everyone holding their sleeves/shirts etc over their noses) a black lady probably early to mid 60's got on the train, walked over to where the sh*t spillage was, and after a careful examination of the faeces decided to open several copies of the Evening Standard to spread on top of the mess...or the "sheet". She decided to ask the lady who was the only person on the other side of the carriage what happened to which she replied "someone getting off the train chucked something on me".

Oh yea, the sh*t spillage lady was white.

:rofl:

f*ckin ell

that black lady was decent though

Innit

Reminds of when some guy threw up on the train to Norbury and these two young ladies were being bare immature about it, I just offered the guy my water and asked if he was OK

Felt good

Did smell of sick quite bad though

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The other day I was on a train which was pretty much packed. As the train stopped at one station and people were rushing off, there was a really loud scream and a spillage sound (those spilling sounds that make a loud slapping echo effect on contact with the floor). Everyone turned around to see what appeared to be sh*t of an extremely watery nature sprawled out all over the ground and treakling down the leg of a lady standing by the glass panel next to the doors who was wearing a dress, which was now, might I add, sh*t stained.

Luckily for me I was on the other side of the carriage when this happened and everyone on her side of the carriage, after freezing for a split second in shock, immediately and simultaneously got up and walked to the other side of the carriage.

After screaming she tried to style it out by saying "What was that? What just happened?" But everyone knew what really happened.

When the train stopped at the next stop (the whole carriage stank of sh*t btw to the extent of everyone holding their sleeves/shirts etc over their noses) a black lady probably early to mid 60's got on the train, walked over to where the sh*t spillage was, and after a careful examination of the faeces decided to open several copies of the Evening Standard to spread on top of the mess...or the "sheet". She decided to ask the lady who was the only person on the other side of the carriage what happened to which she replied "someone getting off the train chucked something on me".

Oh yea, the sh*t spillage lady was white.

:rofl:

f*ckin ell

that black lady was decent though

Innit

Reminds of when some guy threw up on the train to Norbury and these two young ladies were being bare immature about it, I just offered the guy my water and asked if he was OK

Felt good

Did smell of sick quite bad though

pos for acting in a mature humane fashion

people are cunts though it annoys me too...

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Iz he sayin dat us londoners cnt read???

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I'm not from London but everytime i have been on the tube it is full of people "reading" the Metro.

wots ur point?

There is no point

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did man think everyone was buying the same paper?

lol

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Yeah i thought everyone was buying the same paper :rolleyes:

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