I swear down god is trying it

[DINKY]

Blackstock since you asked me what happened why I have had no storys recently you have given man bad luck!!I go home last night I open the door I see my shirt on floor I waqs thinking breeze might of pushed it over but there are no windows in the passage and all the windows are locked. See towel on the floor next I was thinking some strange sh*t is going on here look into the kitchen and all the cuboards were open I was thinking some weird voodooo sh*t was going on So I picked up my tool in the kitchen and I notice blood all over the floor I was thinking sh*t someone is in the yard and I am ready to finsih them off so I check the front room curtains were moving I look at the floor and here was glass and blood everywhere. I thought to myself sh*t I have been burgled so I chueck everything is in place my pc music equipment ps2 360 is all in place check mty weed all my weed is in the yard not this sh*t was not making sense. You come into my yard and rob nothing.Now listen to what this burgler took I swear down I aint lieing He opened up a old box of choclate I never got aeround to throwing away!! and I have no milk in my yard the guy eat half a weetabix and left the other half on my bed. WTF he also left blood stains everywhere. and this stuff must of happened in thje afternoon coz I had some coern on the cob in the freezer that was taken out and had fully defrosted.So two twos I call up the lads they fix the window tempory I can not really have cops coming into my yard searching for evidence So I cut off the curtain with blood on it and bring that and some news paper what had blood on it and brang it to the police station and told them someone burgled my house but I dont really want to make a complaint if it was gonna be some long thing coz the person only took half of a weetabix and some gone off choclate. The police said I had to report unless I want to fix the window myself coz they need to give me a crime report number so the council can fix it (which is another joke coz they said they aint gonna fix it til next wednesday)When I was in the station man asked me if I had an jewerly then I clocked I had my medalion just lieing on the floor next to my money box which the robber had emptied (it only had about 13p inside it) So I go home check that my chain is there and it was there right next to the money box. I think the robber did take a set of my house keys I aint changeing the locks coz I want that f*cker to come back when I am there so I can deal with the case myself.I just find this whole thing weird the person must of been sick in the head coz even the little things like games gold the consoles they could of taken and made some nice peas So I am trying to get my head around it and what el;ese kills it every where in hackney there is cctv but in my block there is nothingAround a month ago there were some eastern european guy trying to get in when I was sleeping but I got up and chased him up upper clapton road with a hammer and then when I got him he said some bullshit about his freind use to live there I should of f*cked him over there and then. I bet it was him the dirty c*nt. That is all I am kinda pissed but releived

[Mr. BLK]

that is some joke.... i wanna know how this muthafukka was bleeding all over ur house

[manuel]

Pissed.Looks like you've been robbed by a tramp who likes weetabix still

[DINKY]

guy cut himself getting in must of been a deep cut got blood everywhere how the f*ck u gonna eat dry wheetabix?

[kurious]

lmao man just wanted a munch star

[GT]

lol mad

[Libertine]

thanks for the enjoyable read

[Soca Junkie]

probably high...had da munchies looooool

[Supernova]

Precious mind low it

[ChickenCottage]

Sounds like some crackhead business.

[M.Dot]

lmfao some joke ting.

[Social]

blood evrywer thats not the lick

[Clay]

if you like blood then blood everwhere is the lick

[Social]

blad

[Guest Durrty Boi]

thats f*cked

[Flat Eric]

Nigga just wanted some bix, allow him.And 13p for two bubbaloo's and 3 sherbits, allow him.

[TAKE HEED]

that is over f*ckedlooks like it werent god tryin it still..but real talk u need 2 deal wid dat situation cuz

[Bacardi_Up]

f*cking hell, some joke ting.

[Jodie]

thanks for the enjoyable read

That was jokes.How the f*ck you really gna eat dry weetabix.Man musta been desperate.

[The King]

f*ckin ell. madness.

[Treacle]

Some woman was probably on her period, came in your house thinking she could find some tampax, but couldn't find none so used the curtain as a temporary sanitary towel instead. Being on her period probably made her really hungry so she started munching on the weetabix! That's probablt the most logical explanation. I say you find her and show her to the nearest Boots!

[djbmc]

Now listen to what this burgler took I swear down I aint lieing He opened up a old box of choclate I never got aeround to throwing away!! and I have no milk in my yard the guy eat half a weetabix and left the other half on my bed. WTF he also left blood stains everywhere. and this stuff must of happened in thje afternoon coz I had some coern on the cob in the freezer that was taken out and had fully defrosted.

I pissed myself when i read that, the look on ur face when u found half a weetabix in ur bed must've been priceless!!!!!p.s have u checked the bed for stains.....

[CRLS AGAIN]

10/10.Sick guy.

[Guest Removal Man]

Dinky is the best poster round erewho challenges my statement?

[Natalie]

Jeeeez