Guest M12 Part 2 Posted October 18, 2011 Report Share Posted October 18, 2011 There's so many unwritten rules on the tube. I stand in the same spot I do every journey home, knowing exactly where the doors open, which is exactly where I need to be at my arriving station. ( Westbound Metropolitan/Piccadilly line, carriage two, door two). There's a stage in my journey which only takes one stop, I realised that it was simpler to board the train last, knowing I'll get of first. These cunts always bustle past me with a smug face as I casually stand by the door pretending not to be interested, then I hop on last minute to be first in line to exit. Slowly but surely enough the group of commuters always standing at Rayners lane (Westbound Metropolitan/Piccadilly line, carriage two, door two). Have cottoned on to my antics, to the point where the door closing alert will sound and there will be three of us still on the platform kindly encouraging each other to board first, while we secretly curse each other under our breath. There is one don that I played football with for 5 years in Sunday League U12 but we dont know each other like that, not even to nod to. Had we met in a club we may have greeted each other, but as we see each other on commute the circumstances don't warrant communication. However we have an unspoken acknowledgement that we occupy the doors, and it is right for us to be at teh front for the exit dash up the steps, because we both climb the stairs the fastest. He takes left, I take right. Its just how it goes. (remember all of this is an unspoken ritual, barely have we ever made eye contact, but we both know the deal). During the eastbound morning journey on the opposite platform however, there is no such kinsmanship. Not only are there no secret bonds, but the Metro's are dwindling to a critical level at this point in time (08.30). Of the 10-15 people that alight on my carriage. Only two or three at most will have arrived early enough to collect the prize of the morning platform, the secret desire of every Rayners Lane commuter. With the early birds crowned in Metro glory, spread wide by the platforms edge for all to see, the remaining commuters prepare their places in pursuit of textual glory as the Eastbound Piccadilly approaches from the sidings. The train will alight revealing the remains of earlier commuters, every paper and seat alike are mentally claimed by each commuter as the train pulls in. However the desire of only those who can predict where the doors will stop shall survive. (make sure you hug that yellow line cos folk will fell no way to stand between you and the edge no matter how close you may seem) Those who choose well hold poll position at the doors left and right, while those whose guesses were further astray must now choose whether queuing left or right will serve them a chance to sit down. The moment comes, the doors open. The wild migration begins and commuters flood in through both doors, filtering left and right, sitting far and near. Each commuter knows in thy heart the rule of the TFL gods which is "Alternate seats empty to filled where possible". However when Newspapers are involved this rule becomes a trap to those whose are too considerate. Take the injun man this morning that dashed past me to obtain a metro from the other side of the row. Only for a scavenger to board quickly from BOTH ends of the row take his paper and the seat he had previously claimed. Its peak. ergy seg se gbe srg r POZ sick post!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Gayle Posted October 18, 2011 Author Report Share Posted October 18, 2011 How is man bringing a bike on the train during fucking rush hour ffs 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TALLWAH Posted October 18, 2011 Report Share Posted October 18, 2011 - non-oyster users (paper tickets) My bredrin gets on the bus with £5 notes, long ting when theres a queue to get on and the drivers taking time to look for change. Ive told man bare times to get an oyster card and his like na thats long. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BLACK VICTIM Posted October 18, 2011 Report Share Posted October 18, 2011 if you pay with 20s they let you on free 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Poetic Posted October 18, 2011 Report Share Posted October 18, 2011 i walk to work B) 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Supermalt Posted October 18, 2011 Report Share Posted October 18, 2011 was a nice train ride today, was sandwiched by two winners on a long northern line trip im that guy that will create that space and push everyone in, fuck it everyone better mind the doors are closing i have money to make 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Supermalt Posted October 18, 2011 Report Share Posted October 18, 2011 I HATE IT WHEN SOMEONE IN FRONT OF ME GETS ON THE TRAIN, AND THEY STAND LITERALLY RIGHT NET TO THE FRONT OF THE DOOR/HANDLE TING INSTEAD OF MOVING IN SO MORE PEOPLE CAN GET IN... WHEN THEY STAND THERE U HAVE TO GO AROUND THEM.. FFS STUPID d*ckHED MOVE DOWN fuck u thats the spot only place u can breath Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BLACK VICTIM Posted October 18, 2011 Report Share Posted October 18, 2011 I HATE IT WHEN SOMEONE IN FRONT OF ME GETS ON THE TRAIN, AND THEY STAND LITERALLY RIGHT NET TO THE FRONT OF THE DOOR/HANDLE TING INSTEAD OF MOVING IN SO MORE PEOPLE CAN GET IN... WHEN THEY STAND THERE U HAVE TO GO AROUND THEM.. FFS STUPID d*ckHED MOVE DOWN fuck u thats the spot only place u can breath I just stand there and turn sideways also my spot on the train is the little rest parts at either end where you can half sit/stand, you get loads of room, close to the doors, can watch everyone and nobody is all up on you also central line is packed on sundays when i use it, sunday mornings, afternoon where is everyone going? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Still Blazin Posted October 18, 2011 Report Share Posted October 18, 2011 never usually have any problems on the train people seem to move away for some reason Chass These Mzungus know what time it is dunn know ndugu Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greens Posted October 18, 2011 Report Share Posted October 18, 2011 c/s knowing exactly what door and carriage to get on for maximum efficiency. / Being tall can be such a par on packed trains. like im standing by the door, neck hunched over while some 5'2 midget stands in the middle. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mp* Posted October 18, 2011 Report Share Posted October 18, 2011 I HATE IT WHEN SOMEONE IN FRONT OF ME GETS ON THE TRAIN, AND THEY STAND LITERALLY RIGHT NET TO THE FRONT OF THE DOOR/HANDLE TING INSTEAD OF MOVING IN SO MORE PEOPLE CAN GET IN... WHEN THEY STAND THERE U HAVE TO GO AROUND THEM.. FFS STUPID d*ckHED MOVE DOWN fuck u thats the spot only place u can breath I just stand there and turn sideways also my spot on the train is the little rest parts at either end where you can half sit/stand, you get loads of room, close to the doors, can watch everyone and nobody is all up on you also central line is packed on sundays when i use it, sunday mornings, afternoon where is everyone going? Always sit there on central line, near the window aswell Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DAT_YOUT_FROM_E15 Posted October 18, 2011 Report Share Posted October 18, 2011 allow u man who dont give ur seat to elderly ppl if they look over 50 i give up my seat straight best place to stand on a buisy train is the end of the carriage pull d window down n get the rusty underground air to ventalate u big up myself for runnin up angel escalator like is nun (longest one in the hole of lu) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skola Posted October 18, 2011 Report Share Posted October 18, 2011 wrong thread Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
imhim Posted October 18, 2011 Report Share Posted October 18, 2011 if you pay with 20s they let you on free IVE DONE THIS BEFORE... IVE GOT ONTO A BUS.... GIVEN A 20POUND NOTE... HE SAYS TO BE I DONT HAVE CHANGE... WE ARE BOTH STANDING THERE LOOKING AT EACHOTHER LIKE... (ur thinking in ur head does that mean hes letting me go on... or does that mean he wants me to get off...) - STUPID KUNT... U GET PAID AT THE END OF THE DAY ANYWAYZ some have let me go on for free tho SNM 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greens Posted October 18, 2011 Report Share Posted October 18, 2011 Hate it when people barge past you breaking a sweat to get in front of you in the queue to the escalator, and then just stand on the right while you bop past. Why go through all that effort and then you can't walk up a few steps. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
imhim Posted October 18, 2011 Report Share Posted October 18, 2011 TODAY THE TRAIN IS COMING TO MOORGATE AND ITS COMING TO A STOP... A MAN WAS IN FRONT OF ME WITH HIS ARM ON THE HANDLE... I WAS WAITING FOR HIM TO MOVE HIS ARM DOWN SO I CAN GET OFF... A NEXT MAN IS COMING TO THE DOOR SO HE CAN GET OFF THE STOP AS WELL... HES ALL GOING TO ME "EXCUSE ME"... IM FINKIN TO MYSELF EXCUSE U WOT? IM GETTING OFF THIS STOP ALSO... U FUKING KUNT... THEN BECOZ THE MAN WHOS ARM WAS ON THE HANDLE WAS TOO LONG, THIS OTHER DANZ GOT IN FRONT OF ME AND GOT OFF... WAS SO ANGRY I WANTED TO STAB IN IN THE MAXIMUS Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Im Broke Posted October 18, 2011 Report Share Posted October 18, 2011 I've started getting on train again and to be honest theres a lot you miss out on when you don't take public transport. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marly Mar Posted October 18, 2011 Report Share Posted October 18, 2011 if you pay with 20s they let you on free IVE DONE THIS BEFORE... IVE GOT ONTO A BUS.... GIVEN A 20POUND NOTE... HE SAYS TO BE I DONT HAVE CHANGE... WE ARE BOTH STANDING THERE LOOKING AT EACHOTHER LIKE... (ur thinking in ur head does that mean hes letting me go on... or does that mean he wants me to get off...) - STUPID KUNT... U GET PAID AT THE END OF THE DAY ANYWAYZ some have let me go on for free tho SNM rfvjcds vgb c No driver has ever let me get on when i had notes Only in Nottingham Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Black Casper Posted October 18, 2011 Report Share Posted October 18, 2011 Had a 2 or 3 experiences where the train was exiting the tunnel and slowing down on the platform on Finchely Road Station. Theres one short old..ish woman who tends to always barge past bare ppl like she is determined to be the first person to step on the train and get a seat....she was literally moving ppl out the way from the back of the crowd all the way to the front all u hear is bare tutting, kissing teeth....this woman didnt care....the amount of evils she got when she won the battle for her seat....i remember one woman had to speak up and say "my god...you could have said excuse me.."..lool Old woman didnt even batter an eye lid....just continued reading the Metro some ppl are so extra wen it comes to the tube 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
revs Posted October 18, 2011 Report Share Posted October 18, 2011 i hate when i'm about to go through the barrier with the oyster out like i'm passing the baton in a relay when the c*nt infront of me stops right at the entrance of the barrier to get their oyster out of their bag. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Somalian Posted October 18, 2011 Report Share Posted October 18, 2011 ^^^pet peeve Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fresh Posted October 18, 2011 Report Share Posted October 18, 2011 i hate when i'm about to go through the barrier with the oyster out like i'm passing the baton in a relay when the c*nt infront of me stops right at the entrance of the barrier to get their oyster out of their bag. THIS Or when someone gets the red light of rejection and you have to try and slide infront of the next man who was destined for that barrier. Straight bodycheck anybody that tries this on me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fresh Posted October 18, 2011 Report Share Posted October 18, 2011 I honestly still dont know how the red oyster readers benefit, can anyone explain? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
imhim Posted October 18, 2011 Report Share Posted October 18, 2011 OYSTER IS DEFINATELY EXPENSIVE LITERALLY I SPEND AT LEAST £10 A DAY... 4 DAYS A WEEK.... FAAAAAK Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TALLWAH Posted October 18, 2011 Report Share Posted October 18, 2011 lol that red light rejection is a par, especially when you get off the train as quick as you can so you can be first man through, then the barrier doesnt open and theres nuff people are behind you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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