Grafter Posted March 10, 2008 Report Share Posted March 10, 2008 some girl who goes dunraven school wrote itshes 15/16 i believeher name is keshia Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Axiom Posted March 10, 2008 Report Share Posted March 10, 2008 some girl who goes dunraven school wrote itshes 15/16 i believeher name is keshia so why was it based in east Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trilliam Posted March 10, 2008 Author Report Share Posted March 10, 2008 some girl who goes dunraven school wrote itshes 15/16 i believeher name is keshia so why was it based in eastPlaistow and Enfield Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grafter Posted March 10, 2008 Report Share Posted March 10, 2008 i duno ybut apprtley shes on bebo, and she said how she wrote it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Axiom Posted March 10, 2008 Report Share Posted March 10, 2008 some girl who goes dunraven school wrote itshes 15/16 i believeher name is keshia so why was it based in eastPlaistow and Enfieldyh the scene with the boy that got a knife lunged at himthat was enfliedi reckon the rest was in hackny thocause of this barI decided 2 awnsa it jus incase it woz dat sexi ting. It woz dat stupid fool michael.'hello' i sed'ye,wha gwarn,so wot u na return ma txts?''i tel u alredy dnt fone ma fone or txt ma fone agen ya stupid eediat,u iz a eediat dat tink dey can gt peice outa evry gyal in hackney'ololo not from hackney but i hack knees Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Axiom Posted March 10, 2008 Report Share Posted March 10, 2008 i duno ybut apprtley shes on bebo, and she said how she wrote it isiti beg some one find her on bebo, i wanna wifey that quikly Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FreeMason Posted March 10, 2008 Report Share Posted March 10, 2008 Wats all this aboutI dont geti it?????? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trilliam Posted March 10, 2008 Author Report Share Posted March 10, 2008 some girl who goes dunraven school wrote itshes 15/16 i believeher name is keshia so why was it based in eastPlaistow and Enfieldyh the scene with the boy that got a knife lunged at himthat was enfliedi reckon the rest was in hackny thocause of this barI decided 2 awnsa it jus incase it woz dat sexi ting. It woz dat stupid fool michael.'hello' i sed'ye,wha gwarn,so wot u na return ma txts?''i tel u alredy dnt fone ma fone or txt ma fone agen ya stupid eediat,u iz a eediat dat tink dey can gt peice outa evry gyal in hackney'ololo not from hackney but i hack kneeslulzmind my tracksuit blud.Come through with the bebo link I'll f*ck her bareback and do some rounds at a sperm clinic after Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I.B.Blackman Posted March 10, 2008 Report Share Posted March 10, 2008 heres a summary famalamhttp://www.vip2.co.uk/forum/index.php?showtopic=1602 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Badman Posted March 10, 2008 Report Share Posted March 10, 2008 is this sh*t still going on....jeeezzzzz Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baroness. Posted March 10, 2008 Report Share Posted March 10, 2008 Just read 17 and 18, where's the rest?lmao @ this eastenders twist, malachi's some f*cked up guy. lol @ karl deading man then shouting his bits, that's smart.Young Money allow typing what happens next before the actual chapters are posted, that was un-needed really. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JOHN DOE Posted March 10, 2008 Report Share Posted March 10, 2008 This story is actually quite creative.The author clearly chose to write this story from the mindset of a young, london hoe which is why so much salng is used.I admit the slang was a little bit extreme but it was appropriateThe author uses adjectives, proverbs, verbs in all the right places which indicates some level of inteligence there.With some tweaking and a lil less graphic sex and violence this would make a good ghetto film Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
violet Posted March 10, 2008 Report Share Posted March 10, 2008 This story is actually quite creative.The author clearly chose to write this story from the mindset of a young, london hoe which is why so much salng is used.I admit the slang was a little bit extreme but it was appropriateThe author uses adjectives, proverbs, verbs in all the right places which indicates some level of inteligence there.With some tweaking and a lil less graphic sex and violence this would make a good ghetto film yh i think it would as well...but it would have to be an 18 considering all the sex and violence. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greens Posted March 10, 2008 Report Share Posted March 10, 2008 Blatently written by a virgin. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
o-guy Posted March 10, 2008 Report Share Posted March 10, 2008 This story is actually quite creative.The author clearly chose to write this story from the mindset of a young, london hoe which is why so much salng is used.I admit the slang was a little bit extreme but it was appropriateThe author uses adjectives, proverbs, verbs in all the right places which indicates some level of inteligence there.With some tweaking and a lil less graphic sex and violence this would make a good ghetto film[/size] yh i think it would as well...but it would have to be an 18 considering all the sex and violence. this is just silly nwhw can yur standards be so lowthe grammar and punctuation are nightmarish at bestthe plot reads like a Childs play book, repetitive and leading absolutely no wherechildren in year 7 are expected to be able to use verbs and adjectives correctly, so i have no idea y yur impressed that sum 15 yr old bosh is able to do so.this is an amateurs version at one of those seedy sex novels, that tries so hard to make it into the category of romance and fails.i have no idea y u people are giving this pile of crap praisethe story isn't even believablethe part where she shanks the boythere were so many things wrong with thatthe levels are indeed low Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grafter Posted March 11, 2008 Report Share Posted March 11, 2008 This story is actually quite creative.The author clearly chose to write this story from the mindset of a young, london hoe which is why so much salng is used.I admit the slang was a little bit extreme but it was appropriateThe author uses adjectives, proverbs, verbs in all the right places which indicates some level of inteligence there.With some tweaking and a lil less graphic sex and violence this would make a good ghetto film[/size] yh i think it would as well...but it would have to be an 18 considering all the sex and violence. this is just silly nwhw can yur standards be so lowthe grammar and punctuation are nightmarish at bestthe plot reads like a Childs play book, repetitive and leading absolutely no wherechildren in year 7 are expected to be able to use verbs and adjectives correctly, so i have no idea y yur impressed that sum 15 yr old bosh is able to do so.this is an amateurs version at one of those seedy sex novels, that tries so hard to make it into the category of romance and fails.i have no idea y u people are giving this pile of crap praisethe story isn't even believablethe part where she shanks the boythere were so many things wrong with thatthe levels are indeed low xacly what i was thinkin specially the bit in redits jus repetitive Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Uncle Man Posted March 11, 2008 Report Share Posted March 11, 2008 this is just silly nwhw can yur standards be so lowthe grammar and punctuation are nightmarish at bestthe plot reads like a Childs play book, repetitive and leading absolutely no wherechildren in year 7 are expected to be able to use verbs and adjectives correctly, so i have no idea y yur impressed that sum 15 yr old bosh is able to do so.this is an amateurs version at one of those seedy sex novels, that tries so hard to make it into the category of romance and fails.i have no idea y u people are giving this pile of crap praisethe story isn't even believablethe part where she shanks the boythere were so many things wrong with thatthe levels are indeed lowon point review imo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Em Dott Posted March 11, 2008 Report Share Posted March 11, 2008 Smaddle, I beg you up your audio again. It wasn't working for me before? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest PennyTraitor Posted March 11, 2008 Report Share Posted March 11, 2008 This story is actually quite creative.The author clearly chose to write this story from the mindset of a young, london hoe which is why so much salng is used.I admit the slang was a little bit extreme but it was appropriateThe author uses adjectives, proverbs, verbs in all the right places which indicates some level of inteligence there.With some tweaking and a lil less graphic sex and violence this would make a good ghetto film[/size] yh i think it would as well...but it would have to be an 18 considering all the sex and violence. this is just silly nwhw can yur standards be so lowthe grammar and punctuation are nightmarish at bestthe plot reads like a Childs play book, repetitive and leading absolutely no wherechildren in year 7 are expected to be able to use verbs and adjectives correctly, so i have no idea y yur impressed that sum 15 yr old bosh is able to do so.this is an amateurs version at one of those seedy sex novels, that tries so hard to make it into the category of romance and fails.i have no idea y u people are giving this pile of crap praisethe story isn't even believablethe part where she shanks the boythere were so many things wrong with thatthe levels are indeed low xacly what i was thinkin specially the bit in redits jus repetitive r u sure ur not a bit bitter tht her work has got more exposure than urs?urs is better, but maybe u wanna write a bit more gutter?im here to help smadzx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JOHN DOE Posted March 11, 2008 Report Share Posted March 11, 2008 This story is actually quite creative.The author clearly chose to write this story from the mindset of a young, london hoe which is why so much salng is used.I admit the slang was a little bit extreme but it was appropriateThe author uses adjectives, proverbs, verbs in all the right places which indicates some level of inteligence there.With some tweaking and a lil less graphic sex and violence this would make a good ghetto film[/size] yh i think it would as well...but it would have to be an 18 considering all the sex and violence. this is just silly nwhw can yur standards be so lowthe grammar and punctuation are nightmarish at bestthe plot reads like a Childs play book, repetitive and leading absolutely no wherechildren in year 7 are expected to be able to use verbs and adjectives correctly, so i have no idea y yur impressed that sum 15 yr old bosh is able to do so.this is an amateurs version at one of those seedy sex novels, that tries so hard to make it into the category of romance and fails.i have no idea y u people are giving this pile of crap praisethe story isn't even believablethe part where she shanks the boythere were so many things wrong with thatthe levels are indeed low No the levels are not low.By my own understanding it is likely that the author of this story is between the ages of 16-18 maximum.I am impressed by this story as for that age group this is pretty good.Go and compare most novels with the structure of this writing and you will see how the level of writing by whoever the writer is quite good. The author could have wrote something like this: i went to this guys house, i liked him and we had sex. Instead she writes more descriptively which good novelists excel at i would sift through and find examples but i cant b bothered. To write a story is not as easy as it seems.Those who read books will know this. And a 6/7 year old is expected to use adjectives and verbs correctly but it would be a very intelligent 6/7 year old to use adjectives and verbs correctly to convey emotin and feeling.I went to the shop. I embarked upon the arduos journey to the shop.Bitch Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soca Junkie Posted March 11, 2008 Report Share Posted March 11, 2008 Is there any point in reading what Young Money posted? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
o-guy Posted March 11, 2008 Report Share Posted March 11, 2008 No the levels are not low.By my own understanding it is likely that the author of this story is between the ages of 16-18 maximum.I am impressed by this story as for that age group this is pretty good.Go and compare most novels with the structure of this writing and you will see how the level of writing by whoever the writer is quite good. The author could have wrote something like this: i went to this guys house, i liked him and we had sex. Instead she writes more descriptively which good novelists excel at i would sift through and find examples but i cant b bothered. To write a story is not as easy as it seems.Those who read books will know this. And a 6/7 year old is expected to use adjectives and verbs correctly but it would be a very intelligent 6/7 year old to use adjectives and verbs correctly to convey emotin and feeling.I went to the shop. I embarked upon the arduos journey to the shop.Bitchexactly my pointYOUR understanding is clearly very limitedu make this painfully obvious wen u drop what is written in blue as a reason y shes a good writterthat sentence was a jokeand to be frankit doesn't seem as odd to me nw that YOU would think she is a good writter Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JOHN DOE Posted March 11, 2008 Report Share Posted March 11, 2008 How on Earth does that mean that my understanding is limited. Structure is important in writing and this story has that.Narrow minded person like yourself may not see this beacsue ou are blinded by the slang and the fact that it is written from the perspective of a grim.I cannot fault you for that as it is NOT your fault that you are not mature enough to see past slang and sex and see creativity and intelligence.In time you wil come to realise your stupidity Unitil then........meh Bitch Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
o-guy Posted March 11, 2008 Report Share Posted March 11, 2008 i blame myselfi should honestly knw betterthere is no point trying to explain to a stupid person, y they are being stupid, they will never understand... cuz they are simply too stupid.yur right, the above story has been masterfully written, and should be made into a "ghetto movie" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JOHN DOE Posted March 11, 2008 Report Share Posted March 11, 2008 i am glad that you have accepted your errorsand calling someone stupid and then writing 'write' instead of 'right'completely invalidates any accusations of stupidity(5 mins later)i see u are not that stupid as you managed to locate the edit button LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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