Domestic violence

[Trilliam]

certain chicks gotta gedit if they aint gettin the bread in, two nights on the trot no punts I AINT PETTING

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[time_bomb]

beating is standard procedure for algerian men, needless to say it was always around me growing up.

/

had one incident with the babymother, we were arguing and i chucked water from a glass in her face, she picked up the glass and threw it and me and it broke and cut my face, i walked over to fling her and she kicked me in the balls, reaction i just sparked her out one time, was the first and only time i ever punched a woman.

Towards the end there was a lot of gripsing and pushing and shoving, deffo right time for us to break up so my daughter didnt witness the shouting and filthy language and insults.

[Guest chap44uns]

beating is standard procedure for the majority of muslim men

[Benicio del Toney]

Witnessing DV growing up has taught me to follow my brain and not my heart if I'm ever put in that situation.

Whenever it started I was always there to defend my mum, would never lock myself in my room like one of my aunts told me to.

It was always over dumb sh*t too... but because he dabbled in drugs the paranoia got to my step daddy. Mum tried to leave, but always came back.

From being kneed in the stomach whilst 7 months pregnant, to being strangled with the belt... I've seen it all and can't get rid of the images.

Had to flee in the night with the help of my uncles... stayed with family for about a year till we eventually found somewhere in Hertfordshire she thought he'd never find.

But he did. The scary thing is... I see my step-dad's attitude and anger in my little sister now.

I thought you were talking about your dad, jesus your mum knows how to choose men.

She got a next man at present?

[Soca Junkie]

Witnessing DV growing up has taught me to follow my brain and not my heart if I'm ever put in that situation.

Whenever it started I was always there to defend my mum, would never lock myself in my room like one of my aunts told me to.

It was always over dumb sh*t too... but because he dabbled in drugs the paranoia got to my step daddy. Mum tried to leave, but always came back.

From being kneed in the stomach whilst 7 months pregnant, to being strangled with the belt... I've seen it all and can't get rid of the images.

Had to flee in the night with the help of my uncles... stayed with family for about a year till we eventually found somewhere in Hertfordshire she thought he'd never find.

But he did. The scary thing is... I see my step-dad's attitude and anger in my little sister now.

I thought you were talking about your dad, jesus your mum knows how to choose men.

She got a next man at present?

Well people don't show their true colours in the beginning.

My step-dad was her childhood sweetheart... then she came to this country. They found each other again after my dad. First thoughts weren't.. hmm he might be violent.

That only began happening when he started mixing with the wrong crowd and taking drugs. Was a good father to me though, which I can't flaw him for.

And no she doesn't.

[Kurtis]

change my mind, dont wanna put this online

[JLovely]

That's really sad David

/

How do these abusive men find out where you are?

[Kurtis]

no idea

[JLovely]

Saying that though the girls who i know get abused and run away or move houses change numbers etc end up being contacted via fb or whatever. I think if you really wanted to go 'missing' you could

[Kompressor]

Think in a lot of cases having a really strong extended family support structure helps.

My Auntie(mums sister) had a situation once and that was that, I was no older than 4, all I remember was 1 phone call, my mum looking pissed, another phonecall to my Uncle (mums brother) what I thought was a arguement, my Mum dropping me off at My Gran Aunts house, them two going of into the front room a few minutes of raised voices, then my Mum comes into the kitchen gets a Machete and leaves the house, with my gran Uncle going after her,

Only realised what had gone on when I was about 11. An I'm in no doubt about why My Auntie left that guy there an then,

Know a few girls who are going through this kinda sh*t now, where they serve as punchbags or victims if psychological or verbal abuse, leave then return, then the cycle repeats,

the common thread with all of them Is a lack of support from extended family.

One if these particualar people was even told by her own mother something to the effect of, "you've got a kid with this guy, yh he's no good un any department, but that's you for life, deal with it"

Love, or seemingly being in love with these guys is one reason, but the lack of viable options is another un my view, these male abusers know the woman has no choice really but to stay around, so can get away with anything,

It's a lit easier to leave when you have somewhere as good or better to go, if there are no good options the view is you might aswell stick around.

[MARVELL]

controversial yes, but what is the saddest things is that in most cases...all these signs of violence were all visible during courting.

[BLACK VICTIM]

worst case in my fam was when my aunts husband broke her rib and her eye was f*cked all bloodshot n that

i was young at the time and didn't understand why nobody went n slapped him up

he is dead now got shot a few years ago in tottenham

love is blind

[Benicio del Toney]

I remember my grandma, mums side, got slapped by her new partner, I was about 5 at the time.

My mum and my auntie came round to the house and took me upstairs with them, got my uncles rifle and asked me how to take it off safety (he taught me).

They came downstairs with guns lol, the guy saw and jumped up my mum said

"SIT THE f*ck DOWN"

My grandma took me out the room so I dunno what was said, but he never touched her again till the day she died, over 20 years.

[Flojo]

Never witnessed it in my house and I've never put hands on a female, but saying that I aren't one of these that condemns every man that has because each situation is different.

I've seen guys I know very well end up in situations where they put hands on females but when they explained to me the level of provocation I understood completely.

For me any chick that makes me genuinely want to box her isn't worth it, I aint going prison for no woman that aint family.

[Fresh]

My grandma left her man, took child and came to England to be with his best friend (my Grandfather) while the ex man was at work. My Grand uncle came over to seek vengeance for a similar situation. No doubt that it was common then. However DV between couples has never been mentioned to me, the only occurrences come between parent/grandparent and child.

I've always been against it, and I still am but less so because of my recent experience.

I'm in a long term relationship and my expectations are now so acute that it takes less to step out of line. Things that appear trivial to the outside world, are major incidents in the form of breached trust in my relationship. Because I've shown love to the point of possible vunerability, I'm more hostile to any display of disrespect. I know her and I sometimes I expect more. Thus, people always think I over-react. f*ck 'em they don't know us.

Recently a situation arose when I was faced with some clear disrespect, and argument ensued and before i knew it, it had escalated beyond the point we'd both expected because every point we brought up had to be stronger, every insult pass had to cut deeper until the point where things were being thrown and every object had to be more dangerous. My partner and I are two of the most laid back, reserved, thinkers you might meet. Usually when we argue we will reach a point and realize that the arguments no longer constructive and we'll resolve it by another means. We're both mature but there's always a situation heartfelt enough to make you get caught up in that moment and when you've gone past that point it's too late.

It takes one thing for you to snap in the heat of the moment and all composure is lost.

Luckily I didn't clap her but I came so close, I ended up gripsing the back of her neck and her belt and sprinting her down the stairs, then dashed her out the door. (her foot musta touch about 3/13 steps on the way down).

As soon as I slammed the door however, i heard the tears and everything that had happened, in one moment, sunk in.

I reminded myself of the Trevor & Lil mo saga where he would always come back apologizing and do it again. Now I understand.

I'm a reserved guy so now I understand how someone with a worse temper than mine may not be able to control that rage.

Another theory that I now subscribe to is that if a woman doesn't want a physical altercation, she shouldn't start one.

[BLACK VICTIM]

your story is pretty mild and understandable, the way you made the thread and ducked out i thought you would come back with a hardcore tale

being a woman does not grant you free reign to act like a c*nt and not be touched, thats why you see so much female to male DV like other night i saw a couple arguing in the street probably drunk and she bent down, took off a shoe and the women conked his head with a high heel... now imagine the role was reversed people would be thinking rah, but nobody really battered an eyelid at it

[JOHN DOE]

lol how can she bax man with a heeled shoe

i would catch an assault charge if any woman done that sh*t to me

[Benicio del Toney]

change my mind, dont wanna put this online

Put that nucca.

[Benicio del Toney]

lol how can she bax man with a heeled shoe

i would catch an assault charge if any woman done that sh*t to me

lol

That's when a woman catches combos.

[Footsie]Bare left hooks, Bare right hooks[/Footsie]

[Flojo]

lol how can she bax man with a heeled shoe

i would catch an assault charge if any woman done that sh*t to me

But you see certain films and sh*t have got a lot of females gassed like throwing slaps and dashing plates etc is par for the course, nah luv not this course.

One of my boys told me his girl dashed a plate at him and it licked him in his mouth, I was in disbelief.

[Lieutenant]

I know this isn't really a laughing matter but this one girl I used to link told me how her ex used to beat her in front of her son.

She said he used to beat her upstairs then go and sit in the kitchen eating his conflakes while listening to d-block. Burst out laughing in her face.

The imagery killed me

[Guest Portuguese]

I bet she never left the guy

[Wavant]

lol how can she bax man with a heeled shoe

i would catch an assault charge if any woman done that sh*t to me

But you see certain films and sh*t have got a lot of females gassed like throwing slaps and dashing plates etc is par for the course, nah luv not this course.

One of my boys told me his girl dashed a plate at him and it licked him in his mouth, I was in disbelief.

OOOOOOOOOH Ouch!

I know this isn't really a laughing matter but this one girl I used to link told me how her ex used to beat her in front of her son.

She said he used to beat her upstairs then go and sit in the kitchen eating his conflakes while listening to d-block. Burst out laughing in her face.

The imagery killed me

I'm sorry but ROTLMFAO.

[JLovely]

The fact she told you what he was listening to like it bare any relevance just shows she's not serious looool

[Benicio del Toney]

Some girls are just born victims though aren't they?

Them Emily from Love and Hip Hop type broads.