SPINOFF: White Lads, what would you do if you woke up black?

[Yardie 2.0]

spend the entire.f*ck*ng.day in the barbers

repeatedly call everyone in Tesco 'bossman'

[Trilliam]

Truly if I woke up black here is what I would do.

First of all I would cleanse my wardrobe of the complete and utter mess that exists in there. Most Caps are not acceptable for a 20-something year old to be wearing. Those jeans do not fit. We are not living in 90's New York. Why does the tshirts have multicolored patterns sprawling all over them? No style is not just about a brand name. Nike Airforces are not acceptable past secondary school. Jewelry? LOL. Stop trying to live beyond your means when you cant afford. Any white person wearing this type of stuff is publicly ridiculed but it is ignored when blacks wear it because racism is wrong and we are not racist.

Go to University and get an education. Media studies, Film studies, Music engineering etc does not count. Study something that has purpose and is important. Failing this, set up my own business THAT IS NOT MUSIC RELATED NOR RELATED TO STOPPING KNIFE CRIME. And I wouldnt brag about being an entrepreneur when I'm not an entrepreneur. This is something black people love to do.

Take elocution lessons and change vocabulary. Most black Londoners have terrible accents. It's aggressive and not coherent at all. Dun know dun know...CUZZZZ...And many incoherent sentences that do not mean anything such as "we gettin that money...dun know the team" this means nothing and has no substance. You have single handedly ruined the dialect of London city and it needs to change.

I'd probably do something extremely prominent and positive and be looked up to in the black community. It's actually laughable the sheer amount of black people who are just willing to act like a black stereotype rather than attempt to combat it.

spend the entire.f*ck*ng.day in the barbers

repeatedly call everyone in Tesco 'bossman'

smother myself in that horrible coconut smelling sh*t

PMSL.

[Guest Supreme Allah]

wear a fur coat with the gucci belt while waiting for a bus

[Supermalt]

go to rave and stand on wall all nite screwin mandem clutching gucci belt whilst models walk past

[JOHN DOE]

I would become a swagger don get a gucci belt and touch merah with my brothers ImHim and TommyHilfigures

lmao

:lol:

The term 'swagger don' is f*ck*ng hilarious.

only to a non-swagger don

[Guest Esquilax]

Lol swagger don

Them facebook pseudonyms

[Guest Fat Eric]

I would become a swagger don get a gucci belt and touch merah with my brothers ImHim and TommyHilfigures

lmao

:lol:

The term 'swagger don' is f*ck*ng hilarious.

only to a non-swagger don

WATCHU SAY SPESH?!?!?!

[djbmc]

if i was black and not from london i would copy the mannerisms, fashion and slang and accents from sbtv and kidulthood and expect to get clean away with it coz all my white mates would never question me, despite the fact that i grew up with them. i would also sell a bit of sniff at the weekend and try and claim i was making major money out of it despite the fact i work in a call centre.

[Yuri]

if i was black, my face wouldn't eb so f*ck*ng burnt after a 40 minute run outside

[TALLWAH]

Atleast the man that go uni and do media and music are going and trying to better themselves instead of doing some road ting.

[Lucarelli]

Media studies is normally full of pretentious white hipsters tho?

[Lieutenant]

I'd laugh at you for being 4ft tall

Loooooooool ahahahah

[Dubby]

Atleast the man that go uni and do media and music are going and trying to better themselves instead of doing some road ting.

yeah...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ixgi4r1qfb0

Nah I do believe people do try bettering themselves by going uni, hell its pretty much put on us from all angles - school, parents, media - but it seems like a lot don't look at potential careers from their courses before applying, I would have loved to do a music technology or media studies course, but I knew the job prospects weren't as high.

[Skenghis Khan]

say things like:

Atleast the man that ........... are trying to better themselves instead of doing some road ting.

[Lens]

u man are goin on like there arent whites who will speak tht dirty cockney sh*t wherever they go.

them man adapt less.

the talk is real

/

black people who speak slang adapt to the situation

let asians control all the business's in my area, even the ones that sell stuff only my community buy.

don't know how this happens so consistently. the chicken shop i can understand, but the hair care product shops?

wear a black wooly hat in the heat

passed about 20 black boys doing this today

You're used to -20 degree temperatures, the people You speak of are from hotter countries than here. You're gonna have different ideas of hot weather to them.

/

who trusts this english weather anyway? You gotta have that jacket on You coz any "hot" day in England, there's a high chance of rain.

[Dubby]

are you actually condoning the use of wooly hats in this weather Lens?

[Lionel & Dave]

been waiting for this day tbh...

get into funky

go aiya napa and burn peds round the dusty roads with a tshirt rapped round my head like taliban

adopt a street name

join a gang and jump on youtube

get a car on credit

get two blackberrys

rock matching hat and t combos

tie my laces slightly different

grab a girl by the elbow when she walks past me in the club

rock an empty bottle of champers in the club

go chicken shop in a convertable

screw white people in black clubs

wife up an older, uglier, slightly washed up 'slapper with a heart of gold' white chick

start drinking baileys, amaretto and all types of other faggotty drinks

start doing the covert phone to mouth thing in public

get a bluetooth earpiece

avoid buying rounds - what are 'rounds'?

start referring to my bummy, all black prada/stone island look as 'swagger'

go uni, media studies and set up a 'production company' then drop 1991 mortal kombat type animation effects on all vids

style my beard

act scared of all animals because mother nature is something we blacks are just not down for

overreact when getting on a ride at alton towers

get one of them high street mohawks and become 'reformed'

do the handshake click thing

take shallow baths with a bucket and then joke white people are the unhygienic ones

go america and slyly adopt a faux american accent

send out love to the haterz

[Supernova]

been waiting for this day tbh...

get into funky

go aiya napa and burn peds round the dusty roads with a tshirt rapped round my head like taliban

adopt a street name

join a gang and jump on youtube

get a car on credit

get two blackberrys

rock matching hat and t combos

tie my laces slightly different

grab a girl by the elbow when she walks past me in the club

rock an empty bottle of champers in the club

go chicken shop in a convertable

screw white people in black clubs

wife up an older, uglier, slightly washed up 'slapper with a heart of gold' white chick

start drinking baileys, amaretto and all types of other faggotty drinks

start doing the covert phone to mouth thing in public

get a bluetooth earpiece

avoid buying rounds - what are 'rounds'?

start referring to my bummy, all black prada/stone island look as 'swagger'

go uni, media studies and set up a 'production company' then drop 1991 mortal kombat type animation effects on all vids

style my beard

act scared of all animals because mother nature is something we blacks are just not down for

overreact when getting on a ride at alton towers

get one of them high street mohawks and become 'reformed'

do the handshake click thing

take shallow baths with a bucket and then joke white people are the unhygienic ones

go america and slyly adopt a faux american accent

send out love to the haterz

f*ck*ng wigger

[Lionel & Dave]

love to the haterz

[Guest Supreme Allah]

been waiting for this day tbh...

get into funky

go aiya napa and burn peds round the dusty roads with a tshirt rapped round my head like taliban

adopt a street name

join a gang and jump on youtube

get a car on credit

get two blackberrys

rock matching hat and t combos

tie my laces slightly different

grab a girl by the elbow when she walks past me in the club

rock an empty bottle of champers in the club

go chicken shop in a convertable

screw white people in black clubs

wife up an older, uglier, slightly washed up 'slapper with a heart of gold' white chick

start drinking baileys, amaretto and all types of other faggotty drinks

start doing the covert phone to mouth thing in public

get a bluetooth earpiece

avoid buying rounds - what are 'rounds'?

start referring to my bummy, all black prada/stone island look as 'swagger'

go uni, media studies and set up a 'production company' then drop 1991 mortal kombat type animation effects on all vids

style my beard

act scared of all animals because mother nature is something we blacks are just not down for

overreact when getting on a ride at alton towers

get one of them high street mohawks and become 'reformed'

do the handshake click thing

take shallow baths with a bucket and then joke white people are the unhygienic ones

go america and slyly adopt a faux american accent

send out love to the haterz

was good up until then.

the black guys are the ones that over run the bitches mile-o-meter for years and years, when their looks fade and they eventuall realise what was going on they usually shack up with some loser they wouldnt have breathed near a few years earlier. 9/10 the person is white

[Corrigan]

[NiNES.]

Tht guys defo been jacked many times

And probably has a black step dad

[imhim]

10 pages

faaaaaaak

[Dubby]

man went in

[imhim]

been waiting for this day tbh...

get into funky

go aiya napa and burn peds round the dusty roads with a tshirt rapped round my head like taliban

adopt a street name

join a gang and jump on youtube

get a car on credit

get two blackberrys

rock matching hat and t combos

tie my laces slightly different

grab a girl by the elbow when she walks past me in the club

rock an empty bottle of champers in the club

go chicken shop in a convertable

screw white people in black clubs

wife up an older, uglier, slightly washed up 'slapper with a heart of gold' white chick

start drinking baileys, amaretto and all types of other faggotty drinks

start doing the covert phone to mouth thing in public

get a bluetooth earpiece

avoid buying rounds - what are 'rounds'?

start referring to my bummy, all black prada/stone island look as 'swagger'

go uni, media studies and set up a 'production company' then drop 1991 mortal kombat type animation effects on all vids

style my beard

act scared of all animals because mother nature is something we blacks are just not down for

overreact when getting on a ride at alton towers

get one of them high street mohawks and become 'reformed'

do the handshake click thing

take shallow baths with a bucket and then joke white people are the unhygienic ones

go america and slyly adopt a faux american accent

send out love to the haterz

THE AMOUNT OF FINGS IN THIS LIST

LMFAOOOOAOOOOOAOOOOO

I CAN RELATE TO SOME