Date/link fails...

[Em Dott]

at my old work place had to regulary deal with some phone orders for some stock. The person I had to speak to on regs basis was some girl who had a nice voice and time got on we've got to know each other but just on a phone via work flex eg just being polite and cracking the odd joke.Then one day she rings the office phone saying she leaving that company for a new job and would like to meet me up in person, as she liked the sound of my voice and vibes etc.. and I'm thinking likewise. so exchanged phone numbers.a week later we are arranging where to meet up and she tries to best describe what she looks like and me being slightly naive beliving her (this was b4 FB was around) and I never really used hi5, facepic or myspace etc... so the link up is on.I arrange to meet her outside tube station. I thought I was being clever for not telling what car I drove or colour. As I parked up waiting for her. 10mins later she rings my phone saying she is there outside and asking what car are you in? I clock her 1st and my 1st reaction by default " was to duck hard and lean off my seat. Sayin yeah im 10 mins away I tell u then. (as im now thinkin escape plan without being noticed and not to be too bait or cruel as we got along well over the phone for how long)The girl was busted... a female version of Mr fraiser from real mccoy.then as im stalling for time, she starts looking over to my car. and my face is just horror and panic as we both make eye contact... She starts walking down the steps towards me. and skinnin teetKEY > IGNITION > SOME HARD REVS > WHEELSPINS and TYRE SMOKE > GONEI WAS MISSIN, aired them calls and deleted them text without reading em... looking back I coulda been polite... or whatever. But it just one of them fight or flight moments and was flight from rankness.Felt no remorse either. (though she was a nice person inside) f*ck that.

LMFAO, especially the fight or flight bit.Vtec has a heart that pumps liquid nitrogen I swear. And I thought Lewis' stories were dread.

[Guest R9]

I had to stop reading when I read she looked at the car, tooo cringey

i think uve missed read young sir. I said she clocked me inside the car, As I was looking at her, and made the fatal error of eye contact. then she started skinnin teet as she realised its me...Now GWEH...

Lol..That was what I mean't, when she looked at the car, at youI knew what was coming tbhCan't read stuff like that, it somehow embarrases me for HER if you know what I mean

[Vtec]

I had to stop reading when I read she looked at the car, tooo cringey

i think uve missed read young sir. I said she clocked me inside the car, As I was looking at her, and made the fatal error of eye contact. then she started skinnin teet as she realised its me...Now GWEH...

Lol..That was what I mean't, when she looked at the car, at youI knew what was coming tbhCan't read stuff like that, it somehow embarrases me for HER if you know what I mean

lol fair dos./@ titan, Lol just panic innit, it was instinctive lol.

[Michel Kane]

Vtec's story >>> __________________________PMSL @ horror & panic.

[Em Dott]

Nah nah, I'm picturing it again. It is like a scene out of a comedy flick I swear.Vtec = ABSOLUTE GOON BAG

[Michel Kane]

Naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah...Just remembered this one.Back in '04, there was this charity talent show ting in college. I was gonna do a stand-up comedy & like an idiot, I must've told some girl I just met to reach because for whatever reason, we couldn't make time for each other...So for the 2 weeks in the run up, man's working HARD on them jokes. Watching all the Def Comedy Jam DVD's & making sure my sh*t's tight.So the night comes, she's a lil' late but I see her in the audience.So I get started.Nigga, I BOMBED like I was in Vietnam. Just AIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIR.So I'm seeking comfort afterwards, look for her backstage & sh*t.Didn't see her since.

[Guest R9]

OhOh noThats harsh bro.Thats why I have stage fright.ButHow could you have bombed??!!Don't tell me you forgot to say 'Ever notice how black people do something like this, but WHITE people do it like this?'

[North Aleng]

A fail from when I was younger:One white ting from Carnival basically was bang on man when I was 15. She was 16, so I was instantly "caught up" because it was the forst time I ever drew a girl older than me that was on it. First time I linked her she was with her she was with a friend, and then went to meet her mum and sister. Basically, I became the friendzone guy as I basically ended up being the guy going into shops with her and that. This was at like 1pm on Oxford Street.2nd time we linked was a long ting. I linked her in Ladbroke Grove backroads (this was before I knew the ends) and got lost nuff. Finally get there, we walked down the road to shop, walk back to her aunt's yard, and then she is like she has to go now. I then proceeded to lipse her for a little piece. To me, this had me the happiest man because I had lipsed an older girl depsite the fact I trekked, got lost and only spent like half an hour with her.Every time after that I linked her she was with her sister or some big nose Cypriot bredrin she had. And I was the friend zone guy. Last straw was one tme she said come to her yard (she lived in Wood Green), so I caught the 29 all the way from Camden Town up there. Now this was the first time I had seen Wood Green packed with nuff road man just congregating outside the shopping centre. Not going to lie, I felt shook. So I phone her to tell her to come and meet me and she says "Hold on, I have to do something I'll call you right back". 30 minutes went by and I phoned her back asking her what's going on to which she replies "Sorry, my mum no one can come to the house". Was pissed. As I was walking to the bus stop, I saw some dodgy looking guys so tried to hide my phone but must have been bait because I heard one of the guys say "Why is my yout trying to hide his phone?! I should rob him". Luckily my bus came straight away and I learnt from then that I can't allow myself to be taken for a moot.

LOL

[Guest Triple XXX]

damn that musta been embarrassingcome liek that kid from waterloo road

[Heero Yuy]

at my old work place had to regulary deal with some phone orders for some stock. The person I had to speak to on regs basis was some girl who had a nice voice and time got on we've got to know each other but just on a phone via work flex eg just being polite and cracking the odd joke.Then one day she rings the office phone saying she leaving that company for a new job and would like to meet me up in person, as she liked the sound of my voice and vibes etc.. and I'm thinking likewise. so exchanged phone numbers.a week later we are arranging where to meet up and she tries to best describe what she looks like and me being slightly naive beliving her (this was b4 FB was around) and I never really used hi5, facepic or myspace etc... so the link up is on.I arrange to meet her outside tube station. I thought I was being clever for not telling what car I drove or colour. As I parked up waiting for her. 10mins later she rings my phone saying she is there outside and asking what car are you in? I clock her 1st and my 1st reaction by default " was to duck hard and lean off my seat. Sayin yeah im 10 mins away I tell u then. (as im now thinkin escape plan without being noticed and not to be too bait or cruel as we got along well over the phone for how long)The girl was busted... a female version of Mr fraiser from real mccoy.then as im stalling for time, she starts looking over to my car. and my face is just horror and panic as we both make eye contact... She starts walking down the steps towards me. and skinnin teetKEY > IGNITION > SOME HARD REVS > WHEELSPINS and TYRE SMOKE > GONEI WAS MISSIN, aired them calls and deleted them text without reading em... looking back I coulda been polite... or whatever. But it just one of them fight or flight moments and was flight from rankness.Felt no remorse either. (though she was a nice person inside) f*ck that.

This part here , BURST OUT LAUGHING

[A Bit Better]

LMFAO some sick stories in here! I don't think I'll ever be able to see a dude running from a cinema and not buss up laughing now. LOL at wheelspinning when she's seen you! Jeeeeeez that's deep!Titan, the white girl was called Louise/Louisa. If you ever go to any of the mainly black clubs in Coventry and see a short blonde girl, that's her. She's from Nottingham as well so she had that f*cked accent. I won't lie, when I was in the car with her and that nigga (and I do really mean nigga), I thought I was done. Was memorising the phone number of my bredrin in Brum that had a car so I could call him from a payphone after I got robbed

[JLovely]

LMFAOTopic has definitely brightened up my day!

[North Aleng]

cant belive what im reading, guys r preparing to get robbed, like thinking of what they guna do after they get yapped this cant be life

[Angelo]

C/STbh if it was me I would have pulled out my gun and shot them all.

[A Bit Better]

cant belive what im reading, guys r preparing to get robbed, like thinking of what they guna do after they get yapped this cant be life

I was sat in the back of a 3 door. I had 3 options, attack the brudda now and hope I win. Assuming he was actually gonna rob me. Grab the wheel, crash the car and hop out. Again, assuming I was actually gonna get robbed. Sit there and hope for the best but plan for the worst.Seems I did the right thing since the guy just got off and went on his way. He looked like a crackhead tbh but I'm assure most dudes from those sides do.

[Em Dott]

LMFAO some sick stories in here! I don't think I'll ever be able to see a dude running from a cinema and not buss up laughing now. LOL at wheelspinning when she's seen you! Jeeeeeez that's deep!Titan, the white girl was called Louise/Louisa. If you ever go to any of the mainly black clubs in Coventry and see a short blonde girl, that's her. She's from Nottingham as well so she had that f*cked accent. I won't lie, when I was in the car with her and that nigga (and I do really mean nigga), I thought I was done. Was memorising the phone number of my bredrin in Brum that had a car so I could call him from a payphone after I got robbed

Reminds me of my bredrin telling me how he was driving near Club Demand in Coventry, and some guy flags him down. Turns out it was some Brum goon who said to my bredrin "Yo, fam, I beg you drop man round the corner to my car. I got my strap on me and the jakes are just there". I mean what do you say to that. My bredrin tried talking the guy out of it but the guy was proper on getting a lift round the corner, and lifted up his top to show my bredrin the strap. So my bredrin eventually goes "Aight cool, but let me go round the corner and turn the car around to get you". My bredrin said as soon as he hit the corner floored the accelerator and was out of there like a thief in teh night. Had to rate him still because I probably wouldn't have thought of that still in the heat of the moment.

[Wavant]

Bravo bravo! You man have LIVED, its official. Creasing at certain stories.TBH My friends have had better stories than I. I've only got 2-3 f*cked sh*t.For example, the first time I ever experienced p*ssy I smelt odours unbeknown to man. You lot know that though.I'll be back.

[A Bit Better]

LMFAO some sick stories in here! I don't think I'll ever be able to see a dude running from a cinema and not buss up laughing now. LOL at wheelspinning when she's seen you! Jeeeeeez that's deep!Titan, the white girl was called Louise/Louisa. If you ever go to any of the mainly black clubs in Coventry and see a short blonde girl, that's her. She's from Nottingham as well so she had that f*cked accent. I won't lie, when I was in the car with her and that nigga (and I do really mean nigga), I thought I was done. Was memorising the phone number of my bredrin in Brum that had a car so I could call him from a payphone after I got robbed

Reminds me of my bredrin telling me how he was driving near Club Demand in Coventry, and some guy flags him down. Turns out it was some Brum goon who said to my bredrin "Yo, fam, I beg you drop man round the corner to my car. I got my strap on me and the jakes are just there". I mean what do you say to that. My bredrin tried talking the guy out of it but the guy was proper on getting a lift round the corner, and lifted up his top to show my bredrin the strap. So my bredrin eventually goes "Aight cool, but let me go round the corner and turn the car around to get you". My bredrin said as soon as he hit the corner floored the accelerator and was out of there like a thief in teh night. Had to rate him still because I probably wouldn't have thought of that still in the heat of the moment.

Lol man didn't trust his own clutch control! I dunno about pulling over for random dudes though. In Coventry of all places!!That white chick loves Demand too. Can probably catch her in there. Crazy bitch. Then she text me one time asking why I never contacted her lol. Thank f*ck I gave her a fake name and location.

[North Aleng]

cant belive what im reading, guys r preparing to get robbed, like thinking of what they guna do after they get yapped this cant be life

I was sat in the back of a 3 door. I had 3 options, attack the brudda now and hope I win. Assuming he was actually gonna rob me. Grab the wheel, crash the car and hop out. Again, assuming I was actually gonna get robbed. Sit there and hope for the best but plan for the worst.Seems I did the right thing since the guy just got off and went on his way. He looked like a crackhead tbh but I'm assure most dudes from those sides do.

dont get me wrong you done the right thing, BUT how u allowed urself to get into that postion is what amazes me, an then i still cant get over the fact u was preparing what to do after you got robbed like it was just part of the days agenda

[R1.]

Was round 1st year sixth form times.We spoke on msn for a good month.She came on web cam a few times all looking like an ebony princess.I was on it.Arranged a link @ Stratford Picturehouse on a saturday. Yes that's hella bait. And yes I wanted to show her off knowing I'd bump into some friends.I'm all scooping the station from the burger king across the road, I call her and she tells me she's wearing a yellow top.I spot on bufffffffff caramel looking chick and get excited, but that's not her. My stomach turns when I see her after.On webcam she looked like an 8 in person more like a 5 and plus she's wearing pedal pushers and kitchen sandals, fail.Her toes were dry and burnt to crisp aswell, f*ck.I call my boy in agony telling him I'm gonna ditch this girl, he convinces me to kotch seeing as she came from croydon. I agree.That walk from the station to the cinema was horrible. Wanted the ground to swallow me whole.We get in and she's all leaning on me and playing footsie with her snake skin feet. I feel sick and excuse myself to the toilet.That's the last time she ever saw me.

lmfao man said scooping u kno not even scoping/this story had me creasing doe

[R1.]

Lol @ Eks running around with the chick doing errands.Think I may have told this story on RWD before. Linked one ting out of endz, near Hammersmith. Again it was a face pic ting and again I was deceived by the myspace angels and she was faaaaaar from how she looked in her pics. White brunette ting who I thought looked a bit like Angelina Jolie but turned up looking more like Sonia from Eastenders. Anyways we went cinema, I tried saying I had no money but she paid for me . I'm thinking f*ck*ng allow being seen with her and how can I get away. Sitting watching the f*ck*ng film and I'm not even watching it just crying inside. Told her I've gotta go outside to make a phonecall. Walked out the cinema, turned the corner and f*ck*ng blurted to the station. Jumped on the train and aired every single text and phonecall from her until she got the point.

lol f*ck OFF man dropped the oldskool slang

[Gunner]

Thread is jokes. Dunno if mine are fails

[A Bit Better]

cant belive what im reading, guys r preparing to get robbed, like thinking of what they guna do after they get yapped this cant be life

I was sat in the back of a 3 door. I had 3 options, attack the brudda now and hope I win. Assuming he was actually gonna rob me. Grab the wheel, crash the car and hop out. Again, assuming I was actually gonna get robbed. Sit there and hope for the best but plan for the worst.Seems I did the right thing since the guy just got off and went on his way. He looked like a crackhead tbh but I'm assure most dudes from those sides do.

dont get me wrong you done the right thing, BUT how u allowed urself to get into that postion is what amazes me, an then i still cant get over the fact u was preparing what to do after you got robbed like it was just part of the days agenda

Maaan, literally as my butt hit the seat all I could think was "What the f*ck did you just do!?" From there it was a freefall.I'm just focusing on the fact that I never got that p*ssy. I wanted it, but I didn't at the same time!

[Risky]

good topic !will read em all later on

[Nola D]

at my old work place had to regulary deal with some phone orders for some stock. The person I had to speak to on regs basis was some girl who had a nice voice and time got on we've got to know each other but just on a phone via work flex eg just being polite and cracking the odd joke.Then one day she rings the office phone saying she leaving that company for a new job and would like to meet me up in person, as she liked the sound of my voice and vibes etc.. and I'm thinking likewise. so exchanged phone numbers.a week later we are arranging where to meet up and she tries to best describe what she looks like and me being slightly naive beliving her (this was b4 FB was around) and I never really used hi5, facepic or myspace etc... so the link up is on.I arrange to meet her outside tube station. I thought I was being clever for not telling what car I drove or colour. As I parked up waiting for her. 10mins later she rings my phone saying she is there outside and asking what car are you in? I clock her 1st and my 1st reaction by default " was to duck hard and lean off my seat. Sayin yeah im 10 mins away I tell u then. (as im now thinkin escape plan without being noticed and not to be too bait or cruel as we got along well over the phone for how long)The girl was busted... a female version of Mr fraiser from real mccoy.then as im stalling for time, she starts looking over to my car. and my face is just horror and panic as we both make eye contact... She starts walking down the steps towards me. and skinnin teetKEY > IGNITION > SOME HARD REVS > WHEELSPINS and TYRE SMOKE > GONEI WAS MISSIN, aired them calls and deleted them text without reading em... looking back I coulda been polite... or whatever. But it just one of them fight or flight moments and was flight from rankness.Felt no remorse either. (though she was a nice person inside) f*ck that.

thats actually f*ckrey