Date/link fails...

[Em Dott]

A fail from when I was younger:One white ting from Carnival basically was bang on man when I was 15. She was 16, so I was instantly "caught up" because it was the forst time I ever drew a girl older than me that was on it. First time I linked her she was with her she was with a friend, and then went to meet her mum and sister. Basically, I became the friendzone guy as I basically ended up being the guy going into shops with her and that. This was at like 1pm on Oxford Street.2nd time we linked was a long ting. I linked her in Ladbroke Grove backroads (this was before I knew the ends) and got lost nuff. Finally get there, we walked down the road to shop, walk back to her aunt's yard, and then she is like she has to go now. I then proceeded to lipse her for a little piece. To me, this had me the happiest man because I had lipsed an older girl depsite the fact I trekked, got lost and only spent like half an hour with her.Every time after that I linked her she was with her sister or some big nose Cypriot bredrin she had. And I was the friend zone guy. Last straw was one tme she said come to her yard (she lived in Wood Green), so I caught the 29 all the way from Camden Town up there. Now this was the first time I had seen Wood Green packed with nuff road man just congregating outside the shopping centre. Not going to lie, I felt shook. So I phone her to tell her to come and meet me and she says "Hold on, I have to do something I'll call you right back". 30 minutes went by and I phoned her back asking her what's going on to which she replies "Sorry, my mum no one can come to the house". Was pissed. As I was walking to the bus stop, I saw some dodgy looking guys so tried to hide my phone but must have been bait because I heard one of the guys say "Why is my yout trying to hide his phone?! I should rob him". Luckily my bus came straight away and I learnt from then that I can't allow myself to be taken for a moot.

[Em Dott]

I have told the story about the c*ck tease who was pretty much willing to get herself wet as a pool, get her titties sucked (36FF good times, good times *reminisces*) and fingered but when I'm whipping out my ting she is talking about she doesn't think we should do this. This was on the second occasion we linked this happened. The first time she basically moved to me and we almost banged but I was drunk and slipped and then she must have sobered up enough to drop that line. She then wanted to come up to see me in Coventry, sleep in my bed even though "We aren't going to do anything". I knew full well that if she was sleeping in my bed, I was f*ck*ng her no question", and seeing as I had just got with my girl I wasn't about to get into that situation.Other small situations have just been things like a girl says yeah she will meet me and just doesn't turn up, answer the phone or respond to texts. And me like a fool sat there waiting for like half an hour before I thought to duck. Also the girl that borrowed my Love and Basketball DVD and hasn't returned it. Basically got used by her to get it. Slam for a classic DVD. Now I tihnk about it, it was in my favour. The beat was f*ck*ng live and I got the film for £3 in HM later that year.

[Em Dott]

LOL @ Eks' Coventry story. Linking white girls from Coventry is a no fam.

[Guest Triple XXX]

Lewis' stories>>>___________Told my stories before but might have some more.basically was at uni and one chick that was friend's with a female friend of mine had started like 2 weeks ago and I was introduced so every now adn again when I saw her I would chat to her quickly just to help her settle in. Anyways, I always banter with people saying "long time, we don't see you no more, you're unsociable" etc. So anyways she says "well, why don't you come by my house after I've done some uni work". I reply "oh seen when's that?". She says "10:30pm". From that, I knew I was going to move to her adn I never had the intention before, but at uni it is compulsary IMO to bang at least one uni chick.So fast forward to the link, I speech her into buying us both £20 worth of drinks. She is showing me pictures and all that boring jazz, so I tell her throw on a flick. Only film she had worth watching was Madagascar So we start watching, I make myself more comfortable and start feeling her up, but I'm drunk so I'm laughing while doing it and she is just having so all systems go. Basically she is being long, so I say fine I'm going, she pulls me back to the bed, and takes of some more clothing. I worked out this works a treat and repeat until she is naked.So finally get down to the beat (this was after long, she was so stupid and drunk), slip on the jimmy, insert, and the round is over in pretty much no time. I pretended the condom was dodge, took it off and dashed in her bin and threw another on quick time before me got flaccid and ting, and tried to beat with impunity to get back hard. She started saying to stop as she feels like she is going to be sick (not cos of the skills player) and basically I was fed up of all teh longness throughout the entire night. I got up, got dressed and told her I was leaving. She jumped up trying to pull me to the bed but she was pissing me off. She said "I'm going to be sick" so I told her go to the sink. She instead sat on teh floor, and vomited in front of herself and sat there. After that, she jumped into bed with the bottle of Vodka and said I have to stay with her. I told her I was ducking and then she said "You can't go. If the ambulance comes and finds out I have died from choking on my own vomit it's all your fault". After a minute of deliberation I left as I wasn't about to spend the night with this crazy whore. After leaving the room I heard a thump like she threw herself against the door to hurt herself.That night I didn't sleep a wink because I was shook police were coming to my halls to nick me for rape the following morning (she seemed capable of telling that kind of lie). Nothing happened, saw her next morning and she was saying hello like nothing happened. Kept away from her for the remaining 3 years at uni. Turns out my friend beat as well and she was doign some next madness.

LMAOthem ones therechick sounds alot like my ex stillcrazy ass whore

[FANTA]

Was round 1st year sixth form times.We spoke on msn for a good month.She came on web cam a few times all looking like an ebony princess.I was on it.Arranged a link @ Stratford Picturehouse on a saturday. Yes that's hella bait. And yes I wanted to show her off knowing I'd bump into some friends.I'm all scooping the station from the burger king across the road, I call her and she tells me she's wearing a yellow top.I spot on bufffffffff caramel looking chick and get excited, but that's not her. My stomach turns when I see her after.On webcam she looked like an 8 in person more like a 5 and plus she's wearing pedal pushers and kitchen sandals, fail.Her toes were dry and burnt to crisp aswell, f*ck.I call my boy in agony telling him I'm gonna ditch this girl, he convinces me to kotch seeing as she came from croydon. I agree.That walk from the station to the cinema was horrible. Wanted the ground to swallow me whole.We get in and she's all leaning on me and playing footsie with her snake skin feet. I feel sick and excuse myself to the toilet.That's the last time she ever saw me.

[Afroman]

LMAOloving this thread... helping trough my day at work..Too much jokes.. I had one or 2 scenarios will share later..keep it coming tho

[Doug]

:D @ everything in this topic

[Guest Triple XXX]

lol bare runners

[Michel Kane]

Was round 1st year sixth form times.We spoke on msn for a good month.She came on web cam a few times all looking like an ebony princess.I was on it.Arranged a link @ Stratford Picturehouse on a saturday. Yes that's hella bait. And yes I wanted to show her off knowing I'd bump into some friends.I'm all scooping the station from the burger king across the road, I call her and she tells me she's wearing a yellow top.I spot on bufffffffff caramel looking chick and get excited, but that's not her. My stomach turns when I see her after.On webcam she looked like an 8 in person more like a 5 and plus she's wearing pedal pushers and kitchen sandals, fail.Her toes were dry and burnt to crisp aswell, f*ck.I call my boy in agony telling him I'm gonna ditch this girl, he convinces me to kotch seeing as she came from croydon. I agree.That walk from the station to the cinema was horrible. Wanted the ground to swallow me whole.We get in and she's all leaning on me and playing footsie with her snake skin feet. I feel sick and excuse myself to the toilet.That's the last time she ever saw me.

[Black Ant]

[Guest Triple XXX]

this is i kno what he means about waitin for a chick in that burger king so u can see her come outt he stationgood times

[Bruno Di Gradi]

[Lieutenant]

Lol Titan's second story reminded me of this one, dunno how I could forget but this is definately the worst.One ting from Slough I had been speaking to on MSN for a little while, bout a 7.5 out of 10 and doing all sorts of madness on cam. She said she would have a free yard for the weekend and one of her friends(who she showed me pics of) was gonna be with her for the weekend. Me and 3 of my boys would usually do something on the weekends. 2 of them had some links in Brighton and were going down there and said we should come as there would be nuff girls but I wanted to go Slough so me and 1 of my boys went Slough. These were the days before SatNav so we looked up directions on The AA website.I'm texting her and speaking to her on the phone on the drive down there. Over an hour later we get in the area and she says to go to some pub and she will direct us from there. Get to the pub and phone her, no answer. Try for another 10mins and I'm thinking no way this can not happen. Try for another 30mins and there's still no answer. I even had her house number and was phoning that as well. Anyways after about 40mins her friend answer's her phone and explains that she's had a fight with her mum and she stormed out the house leaving her phone behind so we can't come round anymore. Me and my boy wanted to cry. 60 f*ck*ng miles each way. 2 and a half hours of driving. £30 petrol. And not even a sniff of fanny.We got back to ends and link up with our other boys who went Brighton, them man had videos of boshes giving them head and were saying there were 5 chicks at this house getting drunk and just them 2.Biggest ever link fail.Lol @ this girl begging me to come down again for a couple of months afterwards

[Guest Triple XXX]

_________>>>> trekin for pussynt really a failure n i think ive posted this on here beforewent to a park, couple girls i knew from school were there introduced me to one chick, im talkin to her nw n shes bare on it, it gets dark n we go off into the dark corners n im fingerin that agressively then we somehow decide to go from south woodford to forest gate at 12am we end up at some aprk n carry on the foreplay then she says she has to go homenext day shes on the news and the police phone me because i was the last person to see her n them chicks gave them my numbernever been so scared in my life i was like 14never saw her again she was from bournemouth or sutin

[The Infamous]

A fail from when I was younger:One white ting from Carnival basically was bang on man when I was 15. She was 16, so I was instantly "caught up" because it was the forst time I ever drew a girl older than me that was on it. First time I linked her she was with her she was with a friend, and then went to meet her mum and sister. Basically, I became the friendzone guy as I basically ended up being the guy going into shops with her and that. This was at like 1pm on Oxford Street.2nd time we linked was a long ting. I linked her in Ladbroke Grove backroads (this was before I knew the ends) and got lost nuff. Finally get there, we walked down the road to shop, walk back to her aunt's yard, and then she is like she has to go now. I then proceeded to lipse her for a little piece. To me, this had me the happiest man because I had lipsed an older girl depsite the fact I trekked, got lost and only spent like half an hour with her.Every time after that I linked her she was with her sister or some big nose Cypriot bredrin she had. And I was the friend zone guy. Last straw was one tme she said come to her yard (she lived in Wood Green), so I caught the 29 all the way from Camden Town up there. Now this was the first time I had seen Wood Green packed with nuff road man just congregating outside the shopping centre. Not going to lie, I felt shook. So I phone her to tell her to come and meet me and she says "Hold on, I have to do something I'll call you right back". 30 minutes went by and I phoned her back asking her what's going on to which she replies "Sorry, my mum no one can come to the house". Was pissed. As I was walking to the bus stop, I saw some dodgy looking guys so tried to hide my phone but must have been bait because I heard one of the guys say "Why is my yout trying to hide his phone?! I should rob him". Luckily my bus came straight away and I learnt from then that I can't allow myself to be taken for a moot.

ghfghfghfghfhfghcreasedGG and Gmoney was gonna rob you outside Hollywood GreenI got a couple but will type them up when Im not busy in a lecture creasing at the seminar atm

[kurious]

this thread is some belly jerkerkitchen sandels u know, them ones u push ur foot in when ur mopping the floor

[Em Dott]

Was round 1st year sixth form times.We spoke on msn for a good month.She came on web cam a few times all looking like an ebony princess.I was on it.Arranged a link @ Stratford Picturehouse on a saturday. Yes that's hella bait. And yes I wanted to show her off knowing I'd bump into some friends.I'm all scooping the station from the burger king across the road, I call her and she tells me she's wearing a yellow top.I spot on bufffffffff caramel looking chick and get excited, but that's not her. My stomach turns when I see her after.On webcam she looked like an 8 in person more like a 5 and plus she's wearing pedal pushers and kitchen sandals, fail.Her toes were dry and burnt to crisp aswell, f*ck.I call my boy in agony telling him I'm gonna ditch this girl, he convinces me to kotch seeing as she came from croydon. I agree.That walk from the station to the cinema was horrible. Wanted the ground to swallow me whole.We get in and she's all leaning on me and playing footsie with her snake skin feet. I feel sick and excuse myself to the toilet.That's the last time she ever saw me.

ROLMFAODFJKGNAFDHFAHTJRJNMTSZNTI CAN'T HELP BUT IMAGINE THE CINEMA FLOOR WHERE YOUR SITTING COVERED IN FOOT CRUST

[Vtec]

at my old work place had to regulary deal with some phone orders for some stock. The person I had to speak to on regs basis was some girl who had a nice voice and time got on we've got to know each other but just on a phone via work flex eg just being polite and cracking the odd joke.Then one day she rings the office phone saying she leaving that company for a new job and would like to meet me up in person, as she liked the sound of my voice and vibes etc.. and I'm thinking likewise. so exchanged phone numbers.a week later we are arranging where to meet up and she tries to best describe what she looks like and me being slightly naive beliving her (this was b4 FB was around) and I never really used hi5, facepic or myspace etc... so the link up is on.I arrange to meet her outside tube station. I thought I was being clever for not telling what car I drove or colour. As I parked up waiting for her. 10mins later she rings my phone saying she is there outside and asking what car are you in? I clock her 1st and my 1st reaction by default " was to duck hard and lean off my seat. Sayin yeah im 10 mins away I tell u then. (as im now thinkin escape plan without being noticed and not to be too bait or cruel as we got along well over the phone for how long)The girl was busted... a female version of Mr fraiser from real mccoy.then as im stalling for time, she starts looking over to my car. and my face is just horror and panic as we both make eye contact... She starts walking down the steps towards me. and skinnin teetKEY > IGNITION > SOME HARD REVS > WHEELSPINS and TYRE SMOKE > GONEI WAS MISSIN, aired them calls and deleted them text without reading em... looking back I coulda been polite... or whatever. But it just one of them fight or flight moments and was flight from rankness.Felt no remorse either. (though she was a nice person inside) f*ck that.

[Black Casper]

Was round 1st year sixth form times.We spoke on msn for a good month.She came on web cam a few times all looking like an ebony princess.I was on it.Arranged a link @ Stratford Picturehouse on a saturday. Yes that's hella bait. And yes I wanted to show her off knowing I'd bump into some friends.I'm all scooping the station from the burger king across the road, I call her and she tells me she's wearing a yellow top.I spot on bufffffffff caramel looking chick and get excited, but that's not her. My stomach turns when I see her after.On webcam she looked like an 8 in person more like a 5 and plus she's wearing pedal pushers and kitchen sandals, fail.Her toes were dry and burnt to crisp aswell, f*ck.I call my boy in agony telling him I'm gonna ditch this girl, he convinces me to kotch seeing as she came from croydon. I agree.That walk from the station to the cinema was horrible. Wanted the ground to swallow me whole.We get in and she's all leaning on me and playing footsie with her snake skin feet. I feel sick and excuse myself to the toilet.That's the last time she ever saw me.

ROLMFAODFJKGNAFDHFAHTJRJNMTSZNTI CAN'T HELP BUT IMAGINE THE CINEMA FLOOR WHERE YOUR SITTING COVERED IN FOOT CRUST

lol, colleauges at work looking at me thinking i must be madbare lol's in this thread

[The Infamous]

dsgdgdgdfgfjfjgjfdjYour f*cked proper evil

[DAT_YOUT_FROM_E15]

Felt no remorse either. (though she was a nice person inside) f*ck that.

LMAOstraight gully

[Guest R9]

I had to stop reading when I read she looked at the car, tooo cringey

[Angelo]

LMFAO @ horror and panicMFAO

[Vtec]

I had to stop reading when I read she looked at the car, tooo cringey

i think uve missed read young sir. I said she clocked me inside the car, As I was looking at her, and made the fatal error of eye contact. then she started skinnin teet as she realised its me...Now GWEH...

[Black Ant]

:D:lmao::lmao: