Relationships

[bex]

it's over was bound to happen, but still one of the hardest things i've done. 2 years down the pan, let's see, what have i learnt? (i can tell this is gonna be some long winded rambling post so sorry in advance)i've learnt that no matter how much you love someone, you can't mould them to fit you, it's not fair. so whoever you choose to be with, they'd better have the qualities you're looking for or pretty close to it from the get go. i've learnt that i need to be with someone with ambition; not saying i want some city banker or something but if i'm working my arse off and you're just sitting on yours with no desire to change, it's not going to work. i have no problem supporting my man if he gets laid off or something, but you should want to get back into work again soon not for me but for yourself.i've learnt that i can be very cold; this is something i need to change asap as i've been accused of it in two of my past relationships. i also know that i'm emotionally distant, another thing i need to work on, although with my last ex i opened up more to him than anyone else ever, so i'm improving. someone said to me once that 'i act like a man', and it's true that all my boyfriends have been more on the sensitive side, i guess because i'm not really. maybe i should try going for something different next time, even though i do prefer that type to the aggressive kind. i've learnt that i try and act as if i am too independent, not even just in love, in friendships too. people like to feel wanted and needed, and i even if i feel i can cope with life on my own, no (wo)man is an island. i've learnt i need to just go with the flow more often; not everything has to be planned.i've learnt that staying with someone through pity or to save their feelings is the worst thing you could ever do to them, and it's a waste of everyone's time. i've definitely learnt that boyfriends come and go but friends and family are constant; it's just a shame i learnt this so late. i hope i never become bitter and jaded in love; i think one of my strong points is that i don't bring stuff that's happened to me in past relationships (ie. being cheated on) into new ones. i've learnt to try and avoid jealous guys with trust issues (although it is hard to spot in the beginning). i know there's more. this last relationship has been a major learning curve

[Skola]

i've learnt that staying with someone through pity or to save their feelings is the worst thing you could ever do to them, and it's a waste of everyone's time. i've definitely learnt that boyfriends come and go but friends and family are constant

yeah these are important lessons./pos for your punctuation

[gemma]

do you still have friends flapjack?

[KayGee]

I hope everything works out for you Flapjacks, you made some points that i can relate to.. it takes a good person to admit your own flaws and to accept when something isnt working (as hard as that may be). We live and learn.

[Ella]

I hope everything works out for you Flapjacks, you made some points that i can relate to.. it takes a good person to admit your own flaws and to accept when something isnt working (as hard as that may be). We live and learn.

What she said.I too can relate to some of the points you made - especially the one about being cold. It's something I've been trying to work on, but I'm just not good at showing my emotions and I'm not very affectionate.

[BLACK VICTIM]

what does being cold mean i have the wrong idea of it here what u dont want cuddles or u brush ur man off when he wants closeness, im baffed but allow a cold girl id link that to child abuse and stay clear im not even jokinnever get involved with a girl who has deep lying childhood issues its not about being a saviour or protector its hard work@ social im not joking i think im too emotionally involved to turn around now

[Uncle Man]

all the best with it brewstop listening to al green for a start unless its to appreciate the finer aspects of willie mitchells arrangement skills

[Skola]

I hope everything works out for you Flapjacks, you made some points that i can relate to.. it takes a good person to admit your own flaws and to accept when something isnt working (as hard as that may be). We live and learn.

What she said.I too can relate to some of the points you made - especially the one about being cold. It's something I've been trying to work on, but I'm just not good at showing my emotions and I'm not very affectionate.

I guess its a self-protection thing.If you open up to the right person you might find theres a whole lot you've been missing out on.

[Angelo]

I agree the warm/affectionate thing.If my girl isn't there's no way I'm getting anywhere near her.It's usually a sign of issues.I'm guarded as f*ck but even I know when to let my guard down occassionally.

[Michel Kane]

Co-sign.Women who aren't warm, affectionate, etc? There's actually something wrong with you.Like one girl told me she didn't like children. :mellow:On to the next.

[Guest Triple XXX]

what does being cold mean i have the wrong idea of it here what u dont want cuddles or u brush ur man off when he wants closeness, im baffed but allow a cold girl id link that to child abuse and stay clear im not even jokinnever get involved with a girl who has deep lying childhood issues its not about being a saviour or protector its hard work@ social im not joking i think im too emotionally involved to turn around now

i cant c/s u enough famn its not about realising it late in the relationship my problem is i dont engage with people properly at the begining, dnt ask questions etc so wen it stuff comes out im usually suprised

[bex]

what does being cold mean i have the wrong idea of it here what u dont want cuddles or u brush ur man off when he wants closeness, im baffed but allow a cold girl id link that to child abuse and stay clear im not even jokin

when i say cold i didn't mean i don't like cuddling and being close, that's one of the best things about being in a relationship. but i'm not the type of person that will fawn over someone 24/7 whereas he was, i don't like pda's and stuff like that because it's embarrassing to me, whereas he did (not talking about my last ex btw).also not opening up about how i felt at the beginning made me seem cold/like i didn't care, but it wasn't really that i was just trying to be cautious because i've been hurt before. gemma, yeah a couple, i lost contact with a lot of people though, not just because of the relationship.

[Bardissimo]

lol @ PDA'sf*ck that moist insecure sh*t

[Guest Triple XXX]

i take it u man dont mean a personal digital assistant?

[Michel Kane]

That's what I'm thinking.

[Natty]

public displays of affection?

[Michel Kane]

Ahhh...

[Guest Triple XXX]

scene

[JLovely]

Relationships definitely let you see your own flaws.I think I was way too giving in my last. Invested a lot of emotions, so even a year later I still feel a way about the break up!I know now I got some self-improvement that needs to be done before I get involved with anyone.

[Wavant]

Aint been in a relationship for YONKS.If I think about it, I never really have.Cry for me.

[Guest Triple XXX]

baby Jesus wept a lil fam

[Guest Lisa Turtle]

Love is NEVER EVER EVER enough.

[Guest Lens]

Love is NEVER EVER EVER enough.

even when it's 2-way and strong?

[VENOM]

Love is NEVER EVER EVER enough.

says the battered wife. good you've realised it now, but dont be so bitter...move on

[Skola]

Relationships definitely let you see your own flaws.I think I was way too giving in my last. Invested a lot of emotions, so even a year later I still feel a way about the break up!I know now I got some self-improvement that needs to be done before I get involved with anyone.

Im on this tip.Self-improvement is the one tho, makes you feel better about yourself. Exercise to improve the physical and upping productivity to improve the mental.Just need more money.