Raising Your Partner's Child

[underwriter]

respect

[Mame Biram Diouf]

Respect Badman. Good words.

[blackmagic]

Yeah so im in this situation

 

Back story - 

 

Met my missus, she has a 2 yr old daughter + father not on the scene. I am in a dilemma. What do?

 

Most guys would walk away and I totally understand why...me on the other hand, I made a decision....

 

Further back story -

 

Was going through strange time in my life...Broke up with my then ex and lived a crazy wild life for about a year after that smashing chicks left right and centre (not literally) but then decided that wasn't really doing anything for me. So I stopped and became celibate, which was a semi conscious decision but I was adamant that I would rather get into a relationship and have sex rather than f*ck about so the fact that I went without it for so long was probably because I couldn't find the right female as apposed to not getting any because I forced myself not to

 

Anyway when my missus came onto the scene I was in a dilema. I finally found someone who I got on with and could see a future with.... but at a price. The question I had to ask myself was do I walk away or do I go ahead.... 

 

Thing about me is though I am one of them calculative kinda guys, I am a control freak by nature and I never enter a situation without considering 'x' implications or without thinking about what could possibly happen in the future. So I knew full well, if I was going to go ahead with this lady then im in it for the long run.... All baggage included! Finally with careful consideration I did. 

 

To cut a long story short. 7 years later I am a happily married man and I was very fortunate that a few years back I was able to legally adopt my daughter without any complications and I have another son (with her) and another on the way. 

 

My relationship with my daughter is solid and is on the same par as my son. I consider them equals and the funny thing is, before I saw this thread (bless you imhim) I had completely forgot that we are not related by blood. 

 

I will probably adopt again in the future once I get a bigger house, I definitely am a guy that lives for his children, for me its the greatest pleasure of my life. 

 

However in saying that, if anybody were in a similar situation and were to ask for my advice then I would firmly advise against it. It can get very complicated and I have been truly blessed that there haven't been any complications (related to the father side) which is very rare I suppose.

 

Also it is very difficult to adjust to in the beginning, and unless you and the female are willing to compromise then forget it. 

 

You also have to be objective and consider why she became a single parent in the first place, unfortunately the reality of the situation is that there are a lot of males out there that are not stepping up to the plate and a lot of naive females and this is a bad combination which is contributing to the ever growing trend of single parents and broken families in general (but that is a separate debate)

 

In any case, to answer OP's question. Am I the ultimate sideman? lol...I dunno, but what I do know is that I am happy with my situation and I wouldn't change it for anything. I will go as far to say that it does take a type of person to be able to handle this kind of situation and im exactly that type of guy. Like I said before I am a calculative person so that means I am patient, tolerant and persistent. On the flip side though I am very stern and would never settle for less 

 

Would also like to put it out there that I had a lot of good people around me at the time to give me a lot of solid advice and for every negative reaction I got, there was someone to help me see things clearly and not base my decisions on meaningless pride or other negative things. On the same note hold tight Smaddy who was one of those I could confide in at the time who helped me with some positive advice 

 

Funny thing is, people seem to have a set formula in life of how things should pan or how life works, but are the same people still living on level 1 living a life of excuses and procrastination. Sometimes in life you need to be able to make bold decisions for it to pay dividends and that's how I live mine. So far this has worked well for me and my life has far exceeded any expectations that I had, and I feel like I have only just started!

 

Please excuse the wall of text for those that bothered to read it all, I am not really one to delve into my personal life too much on here but I felt compelled to tell my story

thats not your daughter though.

[SLEAZE BALL]

and what if you have a child too?

lol some spastic topic

so if you split with ur BM you would rather she was was lonely(probably out there being a jezzie) and ur son had no father figure while you are out there playing fake dad with ur new family. rather than someone that treated them well and took care of them?

Surpised this nonsense went under the radar

[Supermalt]

....

[blackmagic]

are you gonna be a f*ck boy all your life chaps?

whos a fuck boy and whos chaps?

Its not his kid.

Hes taking it too far with that adoption talk.

Too many man wanna be superman.

[Niall Ferguson]

are you gonna be a f*ck boy all your life chaps?

fucking ban the c*nt then

[Drift]

no way blackmagic is chaps. posts nothing like him.

[Yoshie]

no way blackmagic is chaps. posts nothing like him.

[The Infamous]

Respect Badman and good luck for the future.

[Thizz]

Well in Badman good stuff.

Does she know that she's not "yours"?

If not do you plan on telling her when she's old enough.

[Badman]

Yes she knows, in my personal experience as long as I give her what she needs as a father then the perceived reality of the 'truth' doesn't matter to her.

 

Would be a different scenario if I treated her differently from my son, who is my biological child. But that has never been the case 

[SLEAZE BALL]

Where's the biological father at?

[Badman]

not in the scene and never has been

[Niall Ferguson]

no way blackmagic is chaps. posts nothing like him.

 

 

 

no way blackmagic is chaps. posts nothing like him.

 

While this may be correct, it's obviously some c*nt very familiar with the forum. IMO he does post similar to Chaps, when Chaps decided to pretend to be a normal, inquisitive human.

 

Never underestimate the sociopathy/MPD of a fully fledged internet troll.

[Wavant]

 

Never underestimate the sociopathy/MPD of a fully fledged internet troll.

 

 

LOL

[O Fenomeno]

If your going to do this it has to be done properly

Step 1 :Baby father is out of the picture preferably dead

Step 2 : Make sure she has only one child

Step 3: Get her pregnant within a month to six months of being together.

[NORA BATTY]

Takes a real man with alot of heart to do this and not resent it 

[Supermalt]

real man you know

[Zizouz]

If your going to do this it has to be done properly

Step 1 :Baby father is out of the picture preferably dead

Step 2 : Make sure she has only one child

Step 3: Get her pregnant within a month to six months of being together.

 

[The Infamous]

If your going to do this it has to be done properly

Step 1 :Baby father is out of the picture preferably dead

Step 2 : Make sure she has only one child

Step 3: Get her pregnant within a month to six months of being together.

[Yoshie]

If your going to do this it has to be done properly

Step 1 :Baby father is out of the picture preferably dead

Step 2 : Make sure she has only one child

Step 3: Get her pregnant within a month to six months of being together.

 

So your relationship advice is to knock up a chick with a kid after a month of knowing her?

Ok.

[SLEAZE BALL]

 

its long still

[O Fenomeno]

You need to mark your territory