The Zlatan Appreciation Thread

[Mame Biram Diouf]

“(Guardiola) was staring at me and I lost it. I thought ‘there is my enemy, scratching his bald head!’. I yelled to him: ‘You have no balls!’ and probably worse things than that.”

fg

b

vb

b

b

:lmao:

[Agony]

ZLATAN IBRAHIMOVIC is such a phenomenon in France that he has spawned a new word!

The Paris St Germain striker is so big a hit that the French regularly use “zlatan” as a verb.

One meaning of “to zlatan” is to succeed or absolutely nail a task — much like the Sweden star did with his wonder goal against England.

But it can also mean to smash something to bits.

And then there is the vulgar use of the word, with cocky teens talking about “zlatanning” their girlfriends in the bedroom.

To be fair, the kids are only copying the Ibrahimovic puppet in France’s version of Spitting Image.

In Les Guignols de l’Info, the rubber Ibrahimovic is a super-arrogant monster who talks about himself in the third person.

In a spoof advert for his aftershave, he promises it will help you “zlatan” any woman you like.

There is a campaign for zlataner (to zlatan) to enter Le Robert, France’s equivalent of the Oxford English Dictionary.

Editor-in-chief Alain Rey said: “If ‘zlataner’ is known by 40 to 50 per cent of French people, then it can go into the dictionary.”

Column: Zlataned! How megastar became French verb

November 07, 2012 3:12 pm • Associated Press

Je Zlatan, tu Zlatan, il Zlatan. Chalk up another first for Zlatan Ibrahimovic, the only footballer to have his own verb in French, the language of Moliere.

The 17th century playwright would doubtless have been shocked and horrified. Perhaps as shocked and horrified as some French were to learn, depending on which newspaper they read, that Paris Saint-Germain lured its star to France from Italy this summer with an after-tax salary of anywhere between 9 million and 14 million euros per year ($11.5 million to $18 million) _ unheard of in the French league and politically incorrect in the middle of biting economic crisis.

Still, it is possible to be both revolted and fascinated at the same time. The French are learning that from Ibrahimovic, too. One French television show plays the Darth Vader theme music when it reports on Ibrahimovic, reinforcing the idea that he's scary, powerful and can bring entire galaxies _ sorry, I meant opposing teams _ to their knees. The popular comedy show Les Guignols de l'Info now also regularly features an Ibrahimovic puppet, a dubious honor it tends to inflict on presidents, politicians and pop culture stars. It goes without saying that the latex Ibrahimovic, like the man, adores himself. In one sketch, the puppet touts a cologne, Eau de Zlatan, "made from concentrated Zlatan sweat. "

"If you Zlatan yourself with Eau de Zlatan everyone will respect you. You'll no longer need to queue at the post office."

All of which tells us two things. One is that Ibrahimovic, from a troubled immigrant neighborhood in Malmo, Sweden, with a Croatian mother and Bosnian father, makes an impression wherever he goes, both with his football skills and me-first personality. The other is that French club football needed a character like him for people to start paying attention. Separately, neither of those things are news. It is no secret that France has the weakest of Europe's top five leagues. And Ibrahimovic's talents have long made him one of football's hottest properties. However, combine them together and the result is proving very interesting: A very big fish making massive waves, in part because he has chosen to swim in a smaller pond.

Aside from his prince's salary, playing in a league with fewer globally recognized stars than Italy and Spain, Ibrahimovic's previous homes before France, means more attention for him, fewer rivals for his limelight.

"I don't know a lot about French players," he noted when he joined PSG in July. "For sure, they know who I am."

It's not hard to find people who aren't fussed about French club football. The average attendance this season is 18,800 per game, rising to 42,800 for PSG. But many French have now heard of Ibrahimovic. It's impossible not to, given the French media's love-fest with Zlatan this and Zlatan that.

For everyone from buttoned-up daily Le Monde to http://www.zlatanfacts.fr, a satirical website listing his supposedly superhuman attributes ("Lance Armstrong never dared inject himself with blood of Zlatan. His body couldn't have coped with it"), Ibrahimovic is a 95-kilogram, 1-meter-95 (210-pound, 6-foot-4) bandwagon.

After PSG's 2-1 defeat last Saturday to Saint-Etienne, its first Ligue 1 loss this season, sports daily L'Equipe headlined: "Les Verts Zlatanent Paris" (The Greens Zlatan Paris). "Zlataner," to Zlatan. The verb, still hot from the oven of someone's fertile imagination, seems to be taking on the meaning of to dominate, to overpower, to subdue, to have one's way.

Which, to be fair, Ibrahimovic has so far lived up to. With 10 goals in 10 matches, he is Ligue 1's leading scorer and PSG the league leader, equal on 22 points with second-placed Marseille but having played a game more. Ibrahimovic's two-match suspension for karate-kicking _ unintentionally, he insists _ Saint-Etienne `keeper Stephane Ruffier will be an interesting study in how PSG fares without him. Even when Ibrahimovic seems not to be trying, he still makes a difference.

Against Dinamo Zagreb in the Champions League on Tuesday, he wandered slowly around the pitch like a man drained of energy by spending too long in a sauna. He looked bored at times.

But part of Ibrahimovic's art is being in the right place at the right time. He set up PSG's opening goal by Alex and a second by Blaise Matuidi, gifting a joyfully timed pass between three Dinamo defenders for PSG's midfielder to run onto and fire into goal. Both the stadium announcer and tournament organizer UEFA generously declared that Ibrahimovic set up Paris' two other goals, too, even though that wasn't strictly true.

His pass for the third goal to Jeremy Menez outside the box still left the winger with a lot of work, with two defenders and Dinamo `keeper Ivan Kelava to get past. And the ball that striker Guillaume Hoarau knocked in for PSG's fourth appeared to have bounced to him off Kelava's knee, rather than off the foot of Ibrahimovic, who slipped sprinting into the penalty box. But, hey, why let facts ruin a story? Ibrahimovic creates all four goals was always going to be the sexier read. "Zlatan the passer," headlined L'Equipe.

Dinamo is a weakling compared to top-notch teams PSG will encounter if it advances deep into the Champions League, so it was impossible to gauge the Parisians' level using the unreliable yardstick of this match alone. Still, that Ibrahimovic had such impact despite seeming elsewhere for much of the 90 minutes was impressive. At 31, he has learned to be devastatingly efficient, with little waste.

"Ibrahimovic weighs 100 kilograms. He has a very powerful physique. He can't be like Matuidi, he doesn't have the energy to run for the whole match," said PSG manager Carlo Ancelotti. "He runs at the right times."

PSG's supporters chanted "Ibra! Ibra! Ibra!" But, at the final whistle, he wasn't in the mood for the usual post-match handshakes and niceties. He gave Ancelotti a quick hug but then quickly disappeared to get changed.

You seem disappointed? He was later asked.

"Could be," he replied, "because I expect a lot from me."

But as author Oscar Wilde, buried at Paris' Pere Lachaise cemetery, might have said: There's only one thing worse than being Zlatan. Not being Zlatan.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lhizOUEqPDQ

[The Infamous]

zlatanning

[O Fenomeno]

22 Goals

15 Assists

Won Barca games

Ibra>>

[Thizz]

So when Ibra does it it's >>>> _____.

When Lampard does it it's penaltys toe pokes and penaltys.

[O Fenomeno]

Don't try and derail the topic

[darkman]

Zlatan aint a big game player which is why depiste being the most talented I could never call him the best in the world

[Davicious X]

zlatanning

[TF S4DK]

Wenger, though, insists he doesn't look back ruefully on the day the Swede got away.

The Frenchman said: 'He was here at the training ground and went somewhere else. That has happened to many players - Ronaldo was here, Ibrahimovic was here. It does not mean they sign for you.

'The story is true I wanted to see him. I did not know him, you cannot sign players you have not seen at all because it is not serious.

'He was 16. I asked him to have a little training session with the first team and he didn't want to do it.

'Do I regret it? No. I will continue to do that unless our scouts have seen the player and says, "look he is absolutely 100 per cent". I trust them.

'But when somebody says he has some quality, you want at least to see, otherwise you would not be serious.'

[O Fenomeno]

Either Ibra is liar or Wenger is a liar

The dates seems sketchy

[Agony]

The most f*cked up thing about the story is the fact that they missed out on signing Zlatan for £3m and then go sign Francis Jeffers for £8m

[The Infamous]

Yeah Jeffers when they could atleast made a big profit on ibra once he finally out grew them

Jeffers for that price is one of the worst signings ever. Cue sends about carrolls fee

[Drift]

remember wenger said he went on holiday and when he came back richard wright and jeffers were at the club.

[O Fenomeno]

Ibra your in great company

ROBERTO BAGGIO (Italy)

MICHAEL BALLACK (Germany)

GABRIEL BATISTUTA (Argentina)

DENNIS BERGKAMP (Netherlands)

GIANLUIGI BUFFON (Italy)

FABIO CANNAVARO (Italy)

LOTHAR MATTHAUS (Germany)

PAVEL NEDVED (Czech Republic)

ARJEN ROBBEN (Netherlands)

RONALDO (Brazil)

LILIAN THURAM (France)

FRANCESCO TOTTI (Italy)

RUUD VAN NISTELROOY (Netherlands)

PATRICK VIEIRA (France)

[Agony]

Ibrahimovic can be anything he wants to be

Posted by Michael Cox

Kenzo Tribouillard/AFP/Getty Images

Zlatan Ibrahimovic isn't just about scoring goals, he's become a prolific provider for his teammates, too.

Ruthless goalscorer, serial trickster and now prolific provider. Quite what role does Zlatan Ibrahimovic perform, aside from being at the centre of everything? "I need to be free as a bird on the pitch," he says. "I'm the guy who wants to make a difference."

That freedom is serving him well. In the previous Champions League round two weeks ago, Paris Saint-Germain defeated Dinamo Zagreb, 4-0. Look at the scoresheet, and you'd be shocked Ibrahimovic wasn't on it. Alex, Blaise Matuidi, Jeremy Menez and Guillaume Hoarau did.

But Ibrahimovic assisted the first goal. And the second. And the next – and then, just when you thought things were getting too silly, he set up Hoarau with a pass while on his backside. Four goals, four Ibrahimovic assists.

The Swede often faces criticism for being selfish. In a way, he is – he almost demands sides are built around him. He becomes such a focal point, such a key player, that when his sides are without him, they look extremely average. Inter depended on him too much; so did Milan. Even at Barcelona, when cast aside by Pep Guardiola, he was still the main talking point when Barcelona lost to Inter at the semifinal stage.

PSG, forced to play their previous two matches without Ibrahimovic after his foolish sending-off against Saint Etienne, are experiencing the same thing – they didn't win either game. "Being dependent on Ibrahimovic is a good thing," manager Carlo Ancelotti claimed. "It is normal that his partners have great confidence in him – he is a leader who has the character to score and make others play."

In Wednesday night's 2-0 victory at Dynamo Kiev, he picked up another assist. Ezequiel Lavezzi got the ball on the run, and found Ibrahimovic by the right-hand touchline, drifting away into uncharted waters, drawing a centre-back out of position, widening the gaps in the Dynamo Kiev defence. Lavezzi – an average player on the ball but a brilliant direct runner – knew what was coming. Ibrahimovic took one touch to control the ball, steadied himself, then perfectly bisected the centre-backs through the gap his movement had created, and Lavezzi sped onto the ball and chipped the goalkeeper for a superb opening goal.

The understanding between PSG's attackers has improved significantly from their opening two Champions League games. Away at Porto in Matchday Two, for example, Ibrahimovic kept drifting into deep positions, but neither Nene nor Jeremy Menez made a reverse run into the resulting space. Ibrahimovic was the sole threat, making runs in behind an aggressive Porto defensive line.

Now, with more time together on the training ground and pitch, it seems to have clicked. Ibrahimovic's role is crucial in matches such as this, when Ancelotti plays without Javier Pastore, so therefore no link between the three deep midfielders and the three attackers. It works well because PSG's other key attackers are all very direct, vertical players.

"Ibrahimovic is a player who can make us win games alone," says Italian midfielder Marco Verratti. "Players like Menez, Pastore and Lavezzi can provide the depth – Ibra has the technical quality to find a precise pass."

This role is ironic considering the manner he departed from Barcelona. The tactical reason he didn't fit – obviously, personality clashes were a much bigger factor – was because Lionel Messi wanted to move inside from the right and play a more permanent central role. Or, as Ibrahimovic explains himself in his autobiography: "After I arrived I was scoring more goals than [Messi] had. So Messi went to Guardiola and said 'I don't want to play on the wing any more, I want to play in the middle of the attack'.

"Guardiola became pathetic, and he switched to something more like a 4-5-1 formation with me just ahead of Messi. That's when I began to move into the shadows – he did it for Messi and it meant I didn't get to play my natural game."

Take whichever side you want – Messi has become the world's most prolific forward since his move inside, so you won't find too many disagreeing with Guardiola's preference -- but it's nevertheless fascinating that Ibrahimovic is now playing a role akin to the one Messi helped popularise at his expense.

It's not a new role this season, either – last year in Serie A, Ibrahimovic created the fourth-most chances of any player, behind more established playmakers such as Andrea Pirlo, Francesco Totti and Andrea Cossu. "Without Cassano we are different, and I also have to do different things," he said at the time. "In any case, I like helping out the squad, and sacrifice myself to do the things that I can't do as well."

Now he's the leading assistor in the Champions League, five in five games – he's become the perfect false nine.

And yet he remains a proper nine, too. In Ligue 1, his role is entirely different – in 10 matches, he's collected just one assist . . . .but scored 10 goals. He's a target man, a penalty box operator. Admittedly, because of suspension he hasn't played since his quadruple assist against Dinamo Zagreb, and this result in a different method of attacking in domestic football, too.

For now, he varies his game according to the standard of opposition. In Ligue 1, sides sit deep and he's confident his teammates will create opportunities for him to convert. In the Champions League against more organised defences, more movement and fluidity is needed.

Like when Ibrahimovic spoke about Cassano at Milan, the difference is Pastore – a starter for the majority of Ligue 1 games, a substitute for most in the Champions League. If the defined playmaker isn't there, Ibrahimovic has to become it.

But it's not a problem. Because of his mentality, as well as his all-round technical skill set, Zlatan keeps on proving that he can be anything he wants to be.

Michael Cox is a freelance writer for ESPN.com. He runs zonalmarking.net.

[MEIRELES.]

Zlatan >>

[Black.]

His book is good read, safe who ever uploaded it

[Bobby Reds]

[Creed Diskenth]

[Seth Rollins]

[mark_INIESTA_davies]

Superman juice.

[Black.]

Boss

[Agony]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GJHnmU0jILE

[TF S4DK]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bz1wzLkmdfA

[Creed Diskenth]