Jump to content

The Official Manchester United Thread

Young £

By Young £
in Sports Room Archive

 Share

Recommended Posts

  • Replies 13.1k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

  • Kompressor

    1448

  • Mame Biram Diouf

    1068

  • Agony

    1003

  • Gambino

    589

Popular Days

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Days

Popular Posts

Mame Biram Diouf
Mame Biram Diouf

LAHI BE LIKE                                                                                          

BSOM
BSOM

'Look uncle, plenty space to sell dvds' haha

Flojo
Flojo
Mame Biram Diouf Newbie

Mame Biram Diouf

Posted
Posted

Congratulations on obtaining Louis van Gaal. From this moment on, you will be patronised, looked at with disdain, and haunted by a constant doubt if Mr. Van Gaal is flat out making fun of you or being deadly serious. Before you embark on the journey that is having a post match interview with Mr. Van Gaal, you should make yourself familiar with these ten ground rules.

 

1. Be prepared for any possible mood Contrary to many other managers, whether the match is won, drawn or lost is no indication whatsoever of Van Gaal’s mood. Even if he has won and seems to be quite happy, one wrong question can - and will - put him off.

 

2. Start neutral Begin with a question about the match just played. “How did your team do?” or “What did you think?” will suffice. “You must be very disappointed” will not. That is because the match you saw and the match he saw can be very different ones. Mr. Van Gaal is perfectly comfortable declaring that a 0-3 loss at home to Sunderland was his team’s best game all season, just because his players were doing what he told them to do. It’s not always about what ends up on the scoreboard. Don’t enter the interview thinking it is.

 

3. Don’t introduce yourself Or else he’ll know your name, remember it and use it against you. You will not be some anonymous guy with a microphone and a cameraman on his side; you will be Gary, or Clive, or Tony, with whom he will or will not have a feud from the get-go. (He will.)

 

4. Stay on topic If the interview’s about the game, you talk about the game. Not about the next game, transfer rumours or whatever happened on the training pitch. Every question about anything else than the game just played will derail the conversation.

 

5. It’s his language now, not yours Mr. Van Gaal will come up with new additions to the Oxford Dictionary. In Germany, he inadvertently (or was it?) introduced the phrase Der Tod oder die Gladiolen, a Dutch saying meaning literally “death or the gladioli”: all or nothing. This is because if Mr. Van Gaal speaks your language, it is no longer your language, it’s his. It is not Mr. Van Gaal who has trouble speaking English, it is you, for not going along with his obviously much better interpretation of it.

 

6. Try to avoid the meta-interview An interview with Mr. Van Gaal will almost inevitably wind up being an interview about the interview, or more specifically, him asking questions about your questions. This will be the moment you feel the conversation is slipping away from you. Switch back to the studio, or it will end up on YouTube.

 

7. Don’t repeat the question Never mind - you will fail at this. You won’t fool him, even if you think your follow-up question is a cleverly rephrased, well disguised one. He’ll say: “I just told you”. This is inevitable. Don’t try to avoid it, just try to get past it without crashing, like you would at a speed bump.

 

8. Keep on your toes At some point, you will think Mr. Van Gaal is joking. Sure, he does it with a straight face, but he’s joking, he must be. He’s mocking you. Or is he really this angry about this little thing you just said? No - it can’t be. You start to stammer. Ha! He’s just taking a… wait, is he? You will never know, as only Mr. Van Gaal knows. And he never breaks character.

 

9. Distinguish fact from opinion This is hard, as only Mr. Van Gaal can determine which are facts and which are opinions. Which team was disadvantaged by the ref, or which team should have won based on the number of chances? He, and only he, will have the answer. These are the facts. Your facts are opinions. After the 1-1 draw of Holland against Ecuador last Saturday, he called the 0-1 an “unfortunate ball moment”: nothing to do about it. In Mr. Van Gaal’s world, this makes perfect sense. In your world it may not, but you are not to point this out, as he will call you dumb.

 

10. Stay under three minutes Try to get everything you need within that window. After that, the chances of hitting a conversational speed bump will statistically rise. You’ll start wandering into other realms of conversation (how about this or that rumour, Mr. Van Gaal?), or you will ask a question a second time, or he will say you did. After that, you’re on your own. Good luck, mate.

 

 

King Louis >>>>>>>....

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Thizz Newbie

Thizz

Posted
Posted

PSV fan dropped some thoughts on Van Gaal

 

"After Moyes I can definitely understand their optimism. And he is the big name they were craving for.

He is a manager who builds his own teams, and he's known to be a slowstarter. I don't think we'll see the best of him and United in the first few months. It takes a bit of time and support to make his vision a reality. I also predict he'll make some strange selection decisions that will puzzle the United-fans, as he did in the first few months managing the national team. 

Having said that, he's great at coaching players and will definitely get more out of them individually. He is a very fanatical man and his enthusiasm will rub off on the players. The amount of youngsters he has brought through during his career is quite astonishing. Tactically he is a very astute manager, 433 was his default system, but he has switched to 4231 in the past few seasons. Regardless of that, he has a very clear idea how each player should fulfill his roll.

On the negative side, he is a bit of a nutter. He will come in being the biggest narcissist in the Premier League, even above Jose. Try Youtube, you'll find plenty examples of him losing it with journalists. His press conferences are going to be amazing, especially when he gets all defensive and accuses journalist of not knowing anything about football. Regardless of the questions, he can just annihilate them out of absolutely nowhere, which is brilliant to watch.

And he can be like that with players aswell. His tenures with Barcelona, Bayern and the first time with the NT ended quite badly, with Van Gaal losing most of the dressing room. He is an intense man, and it works for you for a while. Untill it doesn't."

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Tee Newbie

Tee

Posted
Posted

 

The BBC have uploaded a story on their website told by journalist Ian McGarry, about how Ryan Giggs was instrumental in stopping the transfer of Thiago Alcantara to Man United last summer.

Talking on BBC 5 Live radio, Man United had reportedly done the deal to bring Alcantara from Barcelona until Giggs was central to the deal falling apart.

At a meeting of United’s coaches, chaired by David Moyes, on the topic of signing the Spanish international last summer, everyone was said to be nodding in agreement except for Ryan Giggs.

The, in a scene reminiscent of Twelve Angry Men, Giggs managed to change everyone’s minds saying ”he’s not a Man United player”.

Listen to the story of how Ryan Giggs torpedoed Thiago Alcantara’s move to Old Trafford below

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Mame Biram Diouf Newbie

Mame Biram Diouf

Posted
Posted

 

 

The BBC have uploaded a story on their website told by journalist Ian McGarry, about how Ryan Giggs was instrumental in stopping the transfer of Thiago Alcantara to Man United last summer.

Talking on BBC 5 Live radio, Man United had reportedly done the deal to bring Alcantara from Barcelona until Giggs was central to the deal falling apart.

At a meeting of United’s coaches, chaired by David Moyes, on the topic of signing the Spanish international last summer, everyone was said to be nodding in agreement except for Ryan Giggs.

The, in a scene reminiscent of Twelve Angry Men, Giggs managed to change everyone’s minds saying ”he’s not a Man United player”.

Listen to the story of how Ryan Giggs torpedoed Thiago Alcantara’s move to Old Trafford below

 

 

 

 

331d4f78_weebay.gif

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Kompressor Newbie

Kompressor

Posted
Posted

And to think Moyes was catching heat for not wanting Thiago, Giggs was flexing on him from early the duplicitous f*cker.

Moyes caught flack for everything last season. A lot wasn't his fault or doing, a lot was.

People were happy to just lump everything his way.

Not heard this Giggs thing though. Maybe it's the start of Moyes' testimony of the reign told via his trusted media sources, could be quite interesting.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
 Share
Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...