Do U Have Enemas?

[FinalBawse]

no i dead them off moretime yazeeit

[Bacardi_Up]

Have one.Let's just say when a friend betrays you that sh*t is never forgotten.

[hardface]

ONE REAL ENEMY AND IT BREAKS MY HEART, COS THAT WAS MY TIGHT NUGGA.NEED TO ACTUALLY TAKE HIS LIFE

[carpedeum]

my enemies are resting in peace.

[RYDER.]

no comment.

[Trilliam]

"It's not what you know," they say. "It's who you know." We have all heard this sentiment, and we all reflexively agree with it. This is because "they" are hard to debate, especially since "they" never seem to be in the room whenever anyone makes reference to them. Yet they have a secret shame, and it's a shame they can't deny: They are losers. They are failures. They don't realize that life is--almost without exception--an absolute meritocracy, and everyone who succeeds completely deserves it.1 The only people who disagree with this are people who will never succeed at anything. You see, "they" want you to believe the passageway to power is all about cultivating allies, so they spend all their time trying to make friends and influence people. And this is why they fail. It rarely matters who is on your side; what matters is who is against you. Unlike Gloria Loring, you don't need a friend and you don't need a lover. What you need is a) one quality nemesis, and one archenemy. These are the two most important characters in the life of any successful human. We measure ourselves against our nemeses, and we long to destroy our archenemies. Nemeses and archenemies are the catalysts for everything. Now, I know that you're probably asking yourself, How do I know the difference between my nemesis and my archenemy? Here is the short answer: You kind of like your nemesis, despite the fact that you despise him. If your nemesis invited you out for cocktails, you would accept the offer. If he died, you would attend his funeral and--privately--you might shed a tear over his passing. But you would never have drinks with your archenemy, unless you were attempting to spike his gin with hemlock. If you were to perish, your archenemy would dance on your grave, and then he'd burn down your house and molest your children. You hate your archenemy so much that you try to keep your hatred secret, because you don't want your archenemy to have the satisfaction of being hated. If this distinction seems confusing, just ask your girlfriend to explain it in detail; women have always intuitively grasped the nemesis/archenemy dichotomy. Every woman I've ever known has had at least one close friend whose only purpose in life is to criticize her actions, compete for the attention of men, and drive her insane; very often, this is a woman's best friend. Every woman also has a former friend (usually someone from high school with large breasts) whom she has loathed for years (and whom she will continue to loath with the intensity of a thousand suns, even if she sees her only once every ten years). This is her archenemy. Women intrinsically understand human dynamics, and this makes them unstoppable. Unfortunately, the average man is less adroit at fostering such rivalries, which is why most men remain average. Males are better at hating things that can't hate them back (e.g., lawn mowers, cats, the 1986 Denver Broncos, et cetera). Most men fail to see a world beyond themselves; if given the choice, they would connect themselves to nothing. But greatness cannot be achieved in a vacuum, and great people know that.In the 1980s, Larry Bird's nemesis was Magic Johnson, and it was always beautiful when they tangled. But Bird's archenemy wasn't Magic; it was Isiah Thomas. When the Celtics played the Pistons, it was a train wreck, and it went deeper than basketball: In 1987, Isiah supported Dennis "Rush" Rodman when he claimed Bird was famous only because he was white. Larry forgave Isiah in public, but he still iced him in the end; the first thing Bird did after becoming president of the Pacers was fire Zeke as head coach. Steve Jobs is Bill Gates's nemesis, but if Gates had only one bullet in his revolver, he'd shoot David Boies. J.R. Ewing was at war with nemesis/brother Bobby for twelve seasons (thirteen if you count the year Victoria Principal dreamed he was dead), but Cliff Barnes was the true Minotaur of Southfork. Jack White turned Von Bondies singer Jason Stollsteimer's face into a speed bag, but Stollsteimer barely even deserves nemesis stature; White's archenemy is Ryan Adams (although he'd be better off if it were Julian Casablancas of the Strokes). The Joker was Batman's nemesis, but--ironically--his archenemy was Superman, since Superman made Batman seem entirely mortal and generally nonessential. Nobody likes to admit this, but Batman hated Superman; Superman is the reason Batman became an alcoholic.2This fall, George W. Bush will seek reelection, and whoever the Democrats end up nominating will become Bush's "nemesis by default" (although not his true nemesis; that will always be John McCain). But none of the candidates has a shot at becoming Bush's archenemy; that designation is inflexible. W's archenemy is Bill Clinton (mostly because Bill beat up his dad in '92). George W. Bush will never face the man he hates most; this is why George W. Bush will never achieve greatness. However, when we get to 2008--when Clinton's wife faces the little brother of her husband's archenemy--it will be a bloodbath. When the families of archenemies collide, skulls get pounded into pulp. Jeb--Hillary will be like Frazier--Ali III.I was sitting in the passenger seat of my nemesis's Buick Skylark when he punched me in 1992; I jacked his jaw at a keg party in '94. These days I mostly just read his blog, although we did have a pressure-packed lunch at the Fargo Olive Garden over Christmas. Meanwhile, I've had the same archenemy since eighth grade: He's a guy named Rick Helling, and he grew up in Lakota, North Dakota. Last year, Helling pitched a few innings for the Marlins in the World Series; in 1998, he won twenty games for the Rangers. I went to basketball camp with Rick Helling in 1985, and he was the single worst person I'd ever met. Every summer, I constantly scan the sports section of USA Today, always hoping that he got shelled. This is what drives me. I cannot live in a world where Helling's career ERA hovers below 5.00, yet all I do for a living is type. As long as Rick Helling walks this earth, I shall never sleep soundly.I realize there are those who don't think it's necessary (or even wise) to consciously create adversaries; Will Rogers claimed that he never met a man he didn't like. But what is Will Rogers famous for, really? For telling jokes that don't have punch lines? For wearing a bandanna like an ascot? Who wants that for a legacy? There is a reason they say, "Keep your friends close, but keep your enemies closer." Granted, "they" usually don't know what they're talking about, but sometimes "they" get lucky, you know?1 The exceptions being Dale Peck, MTV on-air personalities who aren't Kurt Loder, Al Franken, and myself.2 This is speculative.How to Make EnemiesAs the accompanying essay makes clear, you'll need a nemesis and an archenemy if you wish to be successful in this world. The good news is, it's entirely possible that you already have each of these entities in your life; perhaps you just don't realize it (or maybe you can't tell them apart). As a public service, here are a few signs. RECOGNIZING YOUR NEMESISAt some point in the past, this person was (arguably) your best friend.You have punched this person in the face.If invited, you would go to this person's wedding and give him a spice rack, but you would secretly hope that his marriage ends in a bitter, public divorce.People who barely know both of you assume you are close friends; people who know both of you intimately suspect that you profoundly dislike each other.If your archenemy tried to kill you, this person would attempt to stop him.RECOGNIZING YOUR ARCHENEMYEvery time you talk to this person, you lie.If you meet someone who has the same first name as this person, you immediately like him less.The satisfaction you feel from your own success pales in comparison to the despair you feel at this person's triumphs, even if those triumphs are completely unrelated to your life.If this person slept with your girlfriend, she would never be attractive to you again.Even if this person's girlfriend was a hateful bitch, you would sleep with her out of spite.

[Lurker]

goddaz :angry:

[YFSD]

Yeah a couple

[Gordon Gekko]

Have a few / will have a few more when i see certain people about aswellI dont mind havin them though, i have them for real reasons rather than petty ones

[Axiom]

i can think of a few heads that might still be holding grudges.but i don't have any that pose a threat atm.--

There is a guy around that parred me when i was a young guyBut so much time has passed revenge would be immatureBut never the less when I see his face in a rave i want to bottle it.

forget about it unless he's an immediate problem, what's the point.

There is a guy around that parred me when i was a young guyBut so much time has passed revenge would be immatureBut never the less when I see his face in a rave i want to bottle it.

Shank Him FamOr Forever You Will Be ScarredShank him In His Face

:/grow up

[Guest Flat Ericó]

no

[Guest Lemons]

Maybe.None that have made themselves visible anyway.

[Skola]

the police.

[BLACK VICTIM]

There is a guy around that parred me when i was a young guyBut so much time has passed revenge would be immatureBut never the less when I see his face in a rave i want to bottle it.

My friend used to get picked on by this guy when he was 13 (guy was 17) then a few months ago the guy is drunk with people and said suttin like "yo chris do you remember when i used to bully you" or suttin like that, my boy just chinned him, gave him a black eye

[bladerunner]

LOL @ the thread title and the responses.The title must have been changed.

[o-guy]

"It's not what you know," they say. "It's who you know." We have all heard this sentiment, and we all reflexively agree with it. This is because "they" are hard to debate, especially since "they" never seem to be in the room whenever anyone makes reference to them. Yet they have a secret shame, and it's a shame they can't deny: They are losers. They are failures. They don't realize that life is--almost without exception--an absolute meritocracy, and everyone who succeeds completely deserves it.1 The only people who disagree with this are people who will never succeed at anything. You see, "they" want you to believe the passageway to power is all about cultivating allies, so they spend all their time trying to make friends and influence people. And this is why they fail. It rarely matters who is on your side; what matters is who is against you. Unlike Gloria Loring, you don't need a friend and you don't need a lover. What you need is a) one quality nemesis, and one archenemy. These are the two most important characters in the life of any successful human. We measure ourselves against our nemeses, and we long to destroy our archenemies. Nemeses and archenemies are the catalysts for everything. Now, I know that you're probably asking yourself, How do I know the difference between my nemesis and my archenemy? Here is the short answer: You kind of like your nemesis, despite the fact that you despise him. If your nemesis invited you out for cocktails, you would accept the offer. If he died, you would attend his funeral and--privately--you might shed a tear over his passing. But you would never have drinks with your archenemy, unless you were attempting to spike his gin with hemlock. If you were to perish, your archenemy would dance on your grave, and then he'd burn down your house and molest your children. You hate your archenemy so much that you try to keep your hatred secret, because you don't want your archenemy to have the satisfaction of being hated. If this distinction seems confusing, just ask your girlfriend to explain it in detail; women have always intuitively grasped the nemesis/archenemy dichotomy. Every woman I've ever known has had at least one close friend whose only purpose in life is to criticize her actions, compete for the attention of men, and drive her insane; very often, this is a woman's best friend. Every woman also has a former friend (usually someone from high school with large breasts) whom she has loathed for years (and whom she will continue to loath with the intensity of a thousand suns, even if she sees her only once every ten years). This is her archenemy. Women intrinsically understand human dynamics, and this makes them unstoppable. Unfortunately, the average man is less adroit at fostering such rivalries, which is why most men remain average. Males are better at hating things that can't hate them back (e.g., lawn mowers, cats, the 1986 Denver Broncos, et cetera). Most men fail to see a world beyond themselves; if given the choice, they would connect themselves to nothing. But greatness cannot be achieved in a vacuum, and great people know that.In the 1980s, Larry Bird's nemesis was Magic Johnson, and it was always beautiful when they tangled. But Bird's archenemy wasn't Magic; it was Isiah Thomas. When the Celtics played the Pistons, it was a train wreck, and it went deeper than basketball: In 1987, Isiah supported Dennis "Rush" Rodman when he claimed Bird was famous only because he was white. Larry forgave Isiah in public, but he still iced him in the end; the first thing Bird did after becoming president of the Pacers was fire Zeke as head coach. Steve Jobs is Bill Gates's nemesis, but if Gates had only one bullet in his revolver, he'd shoot David Boies. J.R. Ewing was at war with nemesis/brother Bobby for twelve seasons (thirteen if you count the year Victoria Principal dreamed he was dead), but Cliff Barnes was the true Minotaur of Southfork. Jack White turned Von Bondies singer Jason Stollsteimer's face into a speed bag, but Stollsteimer barely even deserves nemesis stature; White's archenemy is Ryan Adams (although he'd be better off if it were Julian Casablancas of the Strokes). The Joker was Batman's nemesis, but--ironically--his archenemy was Superman, since Superman made Batman seem entirely mortal and generally nonessential. Nobody likes to admit this, but Batman hated Superman; Superman is the reason Batman became an alcoholic.2This fall, George W. Bush will seek reelection, and whoever the Democrats end up nominating will become Bush's "nemesis by default" (although not his true nemesis; that will always be John McCain). But none of the candidates has a shot at becoming Bush's archenemy; that designation is inflexible. W's archenemy is Bill Clinton (mostly because Bill beat up his dad in '92). George W. Bush will never face the man he hates most; this is why George W. Bush will never achieve greatness. However, when we get to 2008--when Clinton's wife faces the little brother of her husband's archenemy--it will be a bloodbath. When the families of archenemies collide, skulls get pounded into pulp. Jeb--Hillary will be like Frazier--Ali III.I was sitting in the passenger seat of my nemesis's Buick Skylark when he punched me in 1992; I jacked his jaw at a keg party in '94. These days I mostly just read his blog, although we did have a pressure-packed lunch at the Fargo Olive Garden over Christmas. Meanwhile, I've had the same archenemy since eighth grade: He's a guy named Rick Helling, and he grew up in Lakota, North Dakota. Last year, Helling pitched a few innings for the Marlins in the World Series; in 1998, he won twenty games for the Rangers. I went to basketball camp with Rick Helling in 1985, and he was the single worst person I'd ever met. Every summer, I constantly scan the sports section of USA Today, always hoping that he got shelled. This is what drives me. I cannot live in a world where Helling's career ERA hovers below 5.00, yet all I do for a living is type. As long as Rick Helling walks this earth, I shall never sleep soundly.I realize there are those who don't think it's necessary (or even wise) to consciously create adversaries; Will Rogers claimed that he never met a man he didn't like. But what is Will Rogers famous for, really? For telling jokes that don't have punch lines? For wearing a bandanna like an ascot? Who wants that for a legacy? There is a reason they say, "Keep your friends close, but keep your enemies closer." Granted, "they" usually don't know what they're talking about, but sometimes "they" get lucky, you know?1 The exceptions being Dale Peck, MTV on-air personalities who aren't Kurt Loder, Al Franken, and myself.2 This is speculative.How to Make EnemiesAs the accompanying essay makes clear, you'll need a nemesis and an archenemy if you wish to be successful in this world. The good news is, it's entirely possible that you already have each of these entities in your life; perhaps you just don't realize it (or maybe you can't tell them apart). As a public service, here are a few signs. RECOGNIZING YOUR NEMESISAt some point in the past, this person was (arguably) your best friend.You have punched this person in the face.If invited, you would go to this person's wedding and give him a spice rack, but you would secretly hope that his marriage ends in a bitter, public divorce.People who barely know both of you assume you are close friends; people who know both of you intimately suspect that you profoundly dislike each other.If your archenemy tried to kill you, this person would attempt to stop him.RECOGNIZING YOUR ARCHENEMYEvery time you talk to this person, you lie.If you meet someone who has the same first name as this person, you immediately like him less.The satisfaction you feel from your own success pales in comparison to the despair you feel at this person's triumphs, even if those triumphs are completely unrelated to your life.If this person slept with your girlfriend, she would never be attractive to you again.Even if this person's girlfriend was a hateful bitch, you would sleep with her out of spite.

very good readi recommendwhere did u get it from?

[imhim]

nun wot so ever - never have - and probably never will, unless a deal in my workplace goes tits up or something - i keep myself to myself and do my own thing - involving other people is jus a situation for distruction -

[Lurker]

lol dont even wanna work out what my reply would mean now with the new thread title

[FinalBawse]

lol dont even wanna work out what my reply would mean now with the new thread title

The way I was confused. Was thinking....did it always say Enemas and everyone got it oh so wrong?!

[Trilliam]

@ el kapitanit's written by Chuck Klosterman, a pop culture and sports journalistfind more of his stuff here

[Frank White]

Probably have a few that are either undercover or I've forgotten about.

only blonde girls with regular facebook updates have these

Have one.Let's just say when a friend betrays you that sh*t is never forgotten.

loool at da new title n dese replies

[Guest Triple XXX]

lol @ me thinkin this was about enemas

[Davicious X]

I wouldnt say I have an enemy but I know if i ever see the guy again a fights gonna erupt.Basically years ago I was stayin in a hostel and was chillin with a few of the african heads in the place, they was all smoking weed but since Ive never smoked I was just chillin.In this hostel they force us to have some one on one time with the staff to talk fraff about our stay, how we feel and whatever else comes up. I have a meetin at 4 so when 4 hits I get up and leave.So Im sitting in with this meeting and about 15 minutes later theres some ruckus going on in the hallways. The lot that was smoking got caught and since theres a zero tolerance for it in the building they all swiftley get kicked out.Now the room Im having my meeting in is right at the front of the building with a big ass window so you can see right in and the troop that got kicked out are looking right in the window like Im in the room snitchin. PISSEDOne african dude climbs up and is banging on the wondow shouting his threats and sh*tFrom I knew this guy wasnt the sort to listen to reason, if I see this him Im sure there will be an immediate misunderstanding

[JLovely]

I know I have a couple people who dislike me. Meh.

[Mr. No Good]

got hand full of ppl that would do me somthing if i slippedquite stressful tbh