SHIT JOKE THREAD / NSFW

[Risky]

I went to Anfield the other day to watch a match. A scouse lad said, ‘Can I mind your car foryou mister?’I said, ‘No! And for your information, there’s a Rottweiler in the back.’ The lad said: ‘Put out fires, can he?’

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qmuab2h-3nE

LMFAOO

[serpent]

Always practise safe sex as I know a guy who's been having phone sex for years and now he has been diagnosed with hearing Aids.

[Kompressor]

a little white boy named john was round his black friends house jermaine where the had something to a eat cooked by jermaines mumjohn looking at saw rice, chicken and a banana looking thing which he wasnt quite sure about. So he asked jermaines mum "whats this banana looking thing" . Jermaines mum replied "plantin". So he tried it.......and loved it.The next day john was at home and asked his mum "mummmm.....i want some plantin". Johns mum gave him a seed and a spade and pointed towards the garden smiling and said "such a kind lad wanting to help me with the gardening"*yeh that was the punchline...**FADES*

that is horrendous

its a sh*t jokes thread ....... lol..shoudl be getting pos'd not neg'd

Yeah but yours aren't jokes, they're just you saying stupid sh*t.

Yeah but yours aren't jokes, they're just you saying stupid sh*t.

lol the last one was actually a joke i was told i didnt make that up still lol

lol @ STDs "joke"just rambling...

not even gonna lie, this joke and the mini saga after it has brought me the most joke.

[prdx]

Always practise safe sex as I know a guy who's been having phone sex for years and now he has been diagnosed with hearing Aids.

Ahahaha

[Grafter]

A man was riding his motorbike along a California beach when suddenly the booming voice of god says :" Because you've been so faithful to me in all ways i will grant you one wish "... The man replies: " Build me a bridge to Hawaii" God : " Its an enormous undertaking to build over an ocean, it would use up all the steel and concrete in the world, i can do it but its hard to justify "[/i]God then asks the man " is there anything else I can help you with my child ?"The man thought long and hard and replied... " I wish all men could understand women, I want to know what shes thinking when I get the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says nothings wrong and how i can make her truely happy"God replies " you want 2 lanes or 4 with that bridge "

good one

[shaian]

there was a blackout on my street last night i called the police cos he looked suspicious

[Grafter]

LOL

[FreeMason]

what do u call a paki in a bottle?stink bomb

[serpent]

I just heard that Jonathan Ross is leaving the bbc. Was wondering what you and your three mate are going to do with the piano?

[zlastboss]

im not racist

racism is a crime

crime is for black people

[Bardissimo]

to early to tell jokes about the haitian earthquake? think i should wait for the dust to settle

[Angelo]

didnt' someone on here make one last night.

"I know exactly how these man feel.

After 30 aftershocks I can't find my house either"

Think it was pifferhands

[Trilliam]

wheres satan now

[Thizz]

didnt' someone on here make one last night.

"I know exactly how these man feel.

After 30 aftershocks I can't find my house either"

Think it was pifferhands

:lol: :lol:

[Guest R9]

Bit late but the day before the ACN started

'Im not going to watch the african nations cup it'll be sh*t, theres already been 300 shots and only 3 on target'

[Jam]

Bit late but the day before the ACN started

'Im not going to watch the african nations cup it'll be sh*t, theres already been 300 shots and only 3 on target'

lolololololol

[DAT_YOUT_FROM_E15]

what did mr officer say to mrs officer?

my god you have donuts

[Lenny]

didnt' someone on here make one last night.

"I know exactly how these man feel.

After 30 aftershocks I can't find my house either"

Think it was pifferhands

ahahaha

/

deep

[menace-II-society]

The drop in the number of suicide bombings has been put down to susan boyle. Now muslims know what a virgin looks like, theyre not so f*ck*ng keen on going to paradise.

[Frank.]

to early to tell jokes about the haitian earthquake? think i should wait for the dust to settle

lol.

[Frank.]

All the curry houses are doing a new curry for the quake appeal, it is chicken bury auntie, nan dead and poppa gone.

[Skenghis Khan]

^^^^going from looking at the pictures in the paper to reading this has convinced me ur going to hell...

that and the thing wiv ur neice.

[Frank.]

Thats life.

/

There are more than one Frank's in this world.

[Risky]

3 men go to a club

Got moved to, need a vest.

winner

[Natty]

looking through this thread from page 1 and clocking all the negs >>>>>> ______________-