'That sh*t was too easy son' 'Nah man it was TOO easy'

[Benicio del Toney]

I never beat this 1 due to some family sh*t, just when I was about to seal the deal, but the easiest draw was off a wrong number.

Was in West, in my car with a few man and got a withheld number call to my phone.

Answered it, girl asking for a next girl, told her wrong number.

Just as she was about to put it down I said

"Woah, hold on, hold on"

"You sound round about same age as me, where you live?"

She said Beaconsfield.

Asked how old and what ethnicity, she said 23 and she's mixed race.

Told her she had a gorgeous voice and asked her if she could ring me back but not on withheld so I had the number.

She did, kept talking to it that night.

Texting next couple of days, told me she lives in a hostel, I told her

"I have a girl, is that gonna be a problem?"

Said no

Rolled up to the hostel in Beaconsfield now, txt my boy the address just incase it was a set up.

Dung her told her I was outside, she said come in, I went in and saw her, pretty girl, reminded me of Shola Ama a piece.

Right infront of the door was the landing and 2 staircases either side leading to it.

All I saw on the landing was about 20 white tings just standing there clocking

Come like that scene in 50 Cent - Candy Shop

I was taken aback but clocking certain tings in their eyes (with the SOON gaze) whilst I was going up the stairs.

We went to her room, I asked her "Why all the gal on the stairs?"

She said "Don't watch them, they are just being nosey"

Thought to myself, the mandem are gonna LOVE this place shiiieet.

Anyway watched a film, just chilling and sh*t, she asked me if I could drop her somewhere back on my way to London, said no problem.

Dropped her off now, next day she text me she's bang on it, arrange to meet up again.

Family sh*t happens now and I ain't even in the right frame of mind to be dealing with next links so just locked it, no explanation, nothing.

Girl was leaving me missed calls daily, left about 12 voicemails.

Coulda dealt with that a bit better but f*ck it.

[Guest M12]

Toney youre a proper wrong'un. Remind me of 1 of my boys so much. Just that point where you think they're normal then they come out with suttin super offkey. adjsakjksajksjakksadkakk

/

In Newcastle musta been about a year and a half ago was in tup tups and it was late in the night. Had been talking to one girl and thinking yeah this is the wrap, was getting all the signals, she was feeling me up, saying i was cute and dropped the if i was younger I'd do bad things to you bars. So heres me thinking keep the banter going, night will lock off soon and i can get her back to the apartment and things will pop off. Lights turn on, bouncer starts ushering people out. This chick walks out holding my hand. Im thinking hail the taxi and done.

NO

Out of nowhere bitch is like nah i need to go home with my friends, i cant come home with you. Even today i dont understand what happend. So im stood outside the club, this bitch has disappeared and all the mandem are making their own moves. A couple have jumped in cab already so i know they're wrapping and im thinking I cant be going home after a night out in newcastle with a clean sheet. Im gonna get abuse 2moro. See this girl argue with one guy and walk away from him, she comes over to me and is like just talk to me. So we're chatting. The guy comes back and shes like this is my man leave me alone. So he leaves and she starts giving me her version of events "i went on a date with him and now he wont leave me alone", we chat a bit more and I give her my off ends name "Marcus", shes like yeah we met inside briefly blah blah. (i dont actually know if we did or not but thats beside the point). At this moment my boy shouts like yo i got the taxi, i'm thinking its not worth staying out here hustling, if this ting bombs me last minute, its gonna be pain. So I just threw it out there, "you coming back". shes like where abouts you live, we're just staying otherside of the bridge quayside literally a 5 min taxi ride. Shes like yeah. Get in the taxi, got brains and smashed back at the apartment. She was a good beat as well. Must have drawn her and got her back literally within about 15 minutes.

[Benicio del Toney]

Fak, them flukey out of nowhere beats.

The argument scenario remind me of a next time I was in Watford.

I was with 2 man, driving out of the car park near Area, I see these 2 white tings getting hassle by a next car so I pull up and we holla at them.

1 of the tings goes "pretend you're my boyfriend"

So she says to the next car, "sorry that's my bf, gotta go" and the car with the hungry man drive off.

So we get chatting to these tings and turns out they have no way to get home

Anyway take them back to their flat and cotch there bussing joke for a while, swap numbers whatever.

My boy arranged to link 1 of them, she drove down to his and he did his ting.

Bout a week or so later I think we caught these tings coming out the cinema as we were going in, told us they would meet us after the film.

The film finished now and they say they are in Ikea car park waiting for us, got there and I just had no interest whatsoever, couldn't believe they had nothing to do all that time so they waited for us in the car park, proper put me off, just thought to myself what a pair of saddos.

Anyway they noticed it, was asking my boy after "what was up with him, swear he was the joker last time" lol

I guess I just don't like tings when they are TOO easy.

[Michel Kane]

Red wine. SNM.

[Guest M12]

LMAO

[Supermalt]

uni

just woke up

friend was downstairs with two snowflakes watching a movie

talk sh*t for 5 mins with them

ting said 'how does ur room look like'

showed her

then showed her

[Haze-e]

Uni.

Went morning lecture. Me and one Bluefoot waiting. Finally we clock it's cancelled I'm like f*ck, I aint got nothing to do and next lecture ain't for couple hours. She like my dorm is 5mins walk (was Kingston Hill campus) do u wanna kill time.

Went to hers. Flung in a film. Got head. Zipped up and bounced. I don't even remember getting her name. Slag.

[Kurtis]

oh yeah

beat some young semi fiend in a traphouse back in 07

i was just jamming, she was there, TV was dead, everyone else had gone out somewhere for some reason, so i just asked her if she liked black guys, she said yeah, i said what would you say if i asked to f*ck you, she shrugged (I think, wasnt really paying attention, wasnt even looking at her), so i grabbed her arm and took her to the bedroom.

no more needs to be said about that

#TeamDeev

[Da Luv Doc]

In Zante, met one mixed raced chick, said I thought she was good, blah blah blah. f*cked her within 20 minutes of meeting.

[Bruno Di Gradi]

Red wine. SNM.

*spuds*

forgot about that one u know lmao

man got a goal and an assist

[Guest chap44uns]

uni

just woke up

friend was downstairs with two snowflakes

watching a movie

talk sh*t for 5 mins with them

ting said 'how does ur room look like'

showed her

then showed her

What did you show?

[RaiKkoNen]

uni

just woke up

friend was downstairs with two snowflakes

watching a movie

talk sh*t for 5 mins with them

ting said 'how does ur room look like'

showed her

then showed her

What did you show?

pmsl

[Mr. Air Max 90]

There's bare. Went Oceana Watford laste week and was just vybsing with the mandem. Saw some joonge looking lighty, you know the type, batty riders and cleavage all out just screaming for attention. I aint on the hungry man wave so I let all them Fendi scarf/Prada crep niggas and watched them fail one by one. Two twos now I see her walk out the urban room and go into the commercial room where all the white people jam. I'm like yeah ''that's my chance''. Followed her out and dropped a couple lines by the toilets. White people room starts playing them bait dancehall tunes circa 2003 and she's draggindanig me to the dancefloor. I aint no Chris Brown but I know I can dance and once I give a ting the fine wine it's a wrap. In the corner now dancing for a good 10 minutes, got the white folk looking at us like we're sexin or something. Take her upstairs to the balcony area, got her in a booth which was vacated, was titty sucking, fingering then her phone on the table starts vibrating. I knew exactly what it was, her fat butters friend was pinging her off to see where she was. The dumb bitch told her we were upstairs and this f*ck*ng seacow comes over on the dirtiest c*ck block wave dragging her away. I'm face palming hard, I saw this situation arising from where the lighty was getting attention in the urban room and her fat friend was there screwfacing. So boom they've gone back to the urban room now and I text my boy to meet me in there. I gas him up to draw the fat one, I see the pain in his boat but he knows I'd do the same for him so he goes over and chirpses it, even went the step further and bought her a drink. I was like ''yes donny''. Spoke to the lighty now whilst the fat ting was distracted, was like ''I'm hungry let's go Sam's'', she's on this oh I can't leave my friend alone wave but she finally comes out. Took her the complete opposite way to Sam's to the underpass and into some bush area, bitch blatantly knew what was happening.

Long story short, wokked it out on the grass, buss my nut took a picture and bounced.

Watford >

Would have posted the BB pin but she deleted me in the morning. If anyone knows a Tenesha from Walthomstow, she's a bosh.

[Guest chap44uns]

fek

/

Ang tite your boy buying da fat ting a drink

true sideman

[Mic Man]

Lololol. Story started off slow but picked up nicely and the pic was a bonus- pos

[Wavant]

Excellent wingman.

Ace.

[Da Luv Doc]

Lol will pos when i get home.

/

Wingmaning for people >>>>>>> .......

[Haze-e]

Wingman level is over 9000

*Breaks scouter*

[Kurtis]

pos your boy for me bruh

excellent, excellent work there man

[KayGee]

Looks like she was post menstrual

[Fresh]

The fastest within meeting must have been Brum last year. We're in the arcade carpark and one girls talking to my guy ahead, I can see he's moving it but she doesn't look sure so I walk past. She sees me from the corner of her eye and make a B LINE towards me my boy follows astonished. She asks my name I said "Go talk to my guy innit" and kept it moving. She then asks my boy for my name and starts ballin it echoing out the car park so I walk back. She grabs me starts lipsing up my neck, turns to my boy and goes "I dont like you any more I like this one!"... We stood looking at each other like I told her to come back to the hotel cos we were having an afterparty... Me & her was the afterparty. (In fact I shared that slore in the midlands girls thread).

THE NEXT DAY I phone a next girl I drew at the same rave and tried to use the same lyric (bring your girls back to the room after your rave there's an afterparty) she answers maybe because she has a few things going on. My guy then resorts to one of his new tings and she drops the same afterparty bar I just dropped on my girl, but because it was a solid motive, we agree to go through. During the rave the girl that I had on standby asks me to come with some friends to her hotel but we've already made plans with my mates link. So I lie to her and say that I can't leave the hotel because I've already started my afterparty and it's popping off! We drive to my friends motive, walk in and the are 5 girls in pyjamas drunk dancing around to bashment. Turns out MY tING was in the same girl group as the chick my don was speeching, and I'd told her 10 minutes earlier I cant buck her becuase my party was gwaaning

1 hour later...

We're all allocated to a girl via spin the bottle, the drink had run out and the music got turned of cos they had the 1 CD of repeat. One of te girls was sick and KO'd in the bed in the room next door, they only had two rooms. So one of my guys had no ting to speak to and was sat in some dark corner on bbm whilst every other man was speeching to their girl trying to secure something. There were two guys and two girls on the double bed & a couple in the bathroom (because the last dare was to go in the toilets, put your clothes outside, and whichever girl it landed on next had to join you - sickest dare) while I managed to secure the only single bed. My girl said she would be on stuff if the room wasn't so jam so Ileft it at that and were having casual convo. The time came when the lone guy got bored and wanted to bounce so the mandem were getting their thing together. I saw an opportunity and told them I'd meet them back at our place later on. As soon as they left I was pretty much gonna wait until her friends were asleep and try a ting... My girl had a better plan. She got up and sent her friends out to Burger king, they were arguing about it because there was a madonalds drive thru right by us by my girl was ADAMANT she only wanted BK. Even I was trying to reason with her not understanding what she was up to, until they shut the door and she flew out of her clothes like

[Kurtis]

Looks like she was post menstrual

why you always gotta come with that left field talk?

[Soca Junkie]

How can you f*ck a guy in the bush on the grass when you've come to rave... my goodness

[Mame Biram Diouf]

Why you so surprised

[Soca Junkie]

Because it's not something I'm used to hearing lol

I mean I know there are girls who give it up easy... but come on, she actually went into the bushes looooooooooooooool that sh*t is funny