To Northampton and back

[Kurtis]

Thought I may aswell throw this in a thread..probably gonna recieve some stick but too many lol's to not share

On Halloween, I shot to Northampton to link this ting, Northampton is a f*ck*ng drive but from my work it's not too bad so I thought may aswell. It took me about any hour to reach Northampton from work, bare dark, dingy, rainy a-roads. Anyway I reached into Northampton about 7pm and picked her up, the tings looking fire and what not so I’m rubbing my hands like 'my time' #birdman.

Anyway I asked her where are we going, so we hit revolutions, its quiet so all good. Get to the bar and I ask what does she want'

She points at some £8 cocktail, I’m like "WTF" :-\ . Anyway I cop it, I grab a coke and we sit down start talking. Then she moans about the drinking being horrible and tries to ask me to go back to the bar and ask the barman to make it sweeter. I just plainface her, and tell her she needs to go sort that if there's a problem. She sekkles with her nasty drink and we start talking. Bitch is telling me her life story with men, her family, how she beat up her mum’s husband. I'm thinking jheez I'm in for a long night.

Eventually we leave to grab a Nandos (She leaves about half of that £8 cocktail behind SMH). We get seated in Nandos and I say I'll go up, what you having, this bitch says 10 wings, a side and a glass on Sangria!!! I'm like I'm in Northampton so in my head I’m like I just need to salvage what I can with this. I order my meal and hers but there's no sangria, so I just ask for refillable glass. I get back to the table and tell her there's no Sangria, LOL and what happens next - " Do they have that sweet rose wine" she asks, lmao f*ck. I'm like probably, she's like go up and ask, I asked her "are you insane" so she starts saying you can't make me go up, be a gentlemen. I whip a tenner out and say if you want Rose go and get, and you know what SHE ACTUALLY TOOK IT AND GOT HERSELF A GLASS OF WINE... I'm thinking this CBL, I mean who does that sh*t. f*ck it anyway food comes, she eats half the wings, doggy bags the rest and we leave. There was not a mention of how much sh*t cost, an attempt to pay any part of the bill etc.Money obviously isn’t the issue or a thing but that's not the point.

So we're out, she like I know a bar we can go to if you want to stay around, I think why not, I need to get something out of this. We end up in some whacked out student bar, its Halloween so the daemuns are out in force. We go to the bar and I can tell she has no intention of paying, swear we would have stood there, on some bouncer ting if it was up to her. I'm in a student bar so it's cheap as f*ck, she orders some 2 for 1 cocktail thing, I'm driving so I jam with another coke. We sit down she talks, she clearly tipsy as she starts telling me stuff about how she's a webcam girl, used to be an escort

Suddenly sh*t starts to make some sort of sense.

Anyway she smashes a couple more cocktails down, and some other drinks. I've already classified this night as a write off experience wise and financially so I'm just doing what I need to do to get this ting loose. Eventually she's pretty steaming so I'm like I'm getting off so I’m dropping you back, get a headers out of it in the end. Drove back from Northampton with my iphone on 5% so I had no satnav about 6 minutes back into my journey, it was 1am in the morning and it was raining like sh*t. Anyway over the next couple days she's saying she wants to see me again (why wouldn't see I'm a waking talking chocolate cash machine) I’m now humouring her as I have no intention of doing that or her again.

Eventually she's like you should come unto Leeds to see me (she's from Leeds originally but seeing friends in Northampton). I'm like nah you need to come to brum; I’m the one with the house.

Her reply

"Well if you help me with my train fare haha"

I probe the water to check her genuine seriousness; I respond “If I pay for your tickets will you come down"

"Yes"

At which point I can't contain this charade anymore I'm like “ARE YOU TAKING THE LIVING PISS"

She responds “lol calm down I’m only joking"

[NAS] BYE BABY[/NAS]

It happens. Hell it's happened to me. But there's a difference, and you went clear.

First clue. For a FIRST DRINK???

Second clue.

That's not even a clue. That's someone spoiling the ending for you, and it's not gonna be good news. A bar? A BAR!?!?

Come on man. Sh*t's disgusting. You was after sex, she was after a free night out. She won. The BJ, as good as it may have been, is a minor to these out of London boshes, just like the money isn't a thing to you. You was so focused on how good she looked and ignored all the warning signs because you was roasting. Even when over consumed with alcohol you still lost. From time she's asking for the £8 cocktail I'm jokingly going up behind her and poking her with my boner but letting her know under no uncertain terms the cocktail comes with penis.

She told you her life story and yet you CONTINUED coming up out your pocket. If you're getting HAMMERED on Fifa 7-0 and it's the 50th minute, you don't continue playing and take abuse over the headset, you f**king switch off the console.

I'm disgusted tbh.

nah im dead

[Wavant]

The BJ, as good as it may have been, is a minor to these out of London boshes

Lol, this is 2 Chainz truuu.

[The Somalian]

What was that topic with the poem about making a topic then regretting it.

[Sole]

Pmsl dunno but I remember the one about waiting for a c/s

/

Nah Mario broke it down nicely spot on.

[Haze-e]

TBH he f**ked it up for himself. You've already been boopsed, so how you not gonna play the gentleman who get's boopsed and go get her drink changed? Man thought he was being thuggish ruggish saying "Go deal with that yourself". That was salty. Even in Nando's when she said you go up and ask, after you've offered to get her dinner etc, why go on like that and try send her up? You chose your lane for the night which was getting played. Don't try carry on playing football when 4-0 down, the floodgates are open.

You talked yourself out of getting poontang and got downgraded from drunken sex to a blowy in the car.

I'm even more disgusted now tbh.

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL.

Mockery.

[Heero Yuy]

What was that topic with the poem about making a topic then regretting it.

i don't regret nothing, why would I.

Laughed it off and kept it moving, this sh*t happened Wednesday..f*ck I've won since this, didn't cost me a penny either

[Guest chap44uns]

OMG HE ENDED IT WIV NONSENSE

DFS

FD

V

S

F

S

True uncle

[imhim]

eee

[Seth Rollins]

10 wings and doggy bags them and takes them home? Lol at thinking she didn't call someone at 2am and have sex and finish off them wings. These times man's having to navigate home with no battery or tom tom and ignore his boner.

Man got subbed in the 90th minute and someone else scored the winner. I suppose a small consolation is knowing someone else lipsed her an hour after she sucked you off.

[Sole]

No kissing di punters

[Heero Yuy]

10 wings and doggy bags them and takes them home? Lol at thinking she didn't call someone at 2am and have sex and finish off them wings. These times man's having to navigate home with no battery or tom tom and ignore his boner.

Man got subbed in the 90th minute and someone else scored the winner. I suppose a small consolation is knowing someone else lipsed her an hour after she sucked you off.

why would i still have a bonner after she's sucked me off

not even making sense anymore, typical over excitable aff,

[Seth Rollins]

Firstly I'm not Aff, secondly are you now saying you buss in her mouth? Considering how much of a shambles this story is I wouldn't be leaving out ANYTHING that might help my case fella.

[Heero Yuy]

lol @ Case

he sleepless nights I've been having wondering about how this thread with effect my E-Character rep have been alot.

If you have any questions they can be directed at M12, he is representing me

[Seymour Cake]

Trying to say M12 is any Lionel Hutz.

[Seth Rollins]

[local]

Fak 12 pages

Almost took the whole train journey

This is why threads are rare, it was a horrible ordeal but give the guy a break, got him bragging about new puss n easy sleep on the defensive

I will jus point out that as a drunken child when I went the extra mile n didn't get my leg over I would always tell the lads she sucked me off despite the fact I was at home fapping through the frustration

Either way thnx for the thread heero

[Heero Yuy]

No problems brah

[Seth Rollins]

NAH NAH NAH LOCAL IS SAYING YOU'RE LYING BRUV

:rofl:

NO GOALS NO SHOTS ON TARGET NOTHING.

[Heero Yuy]

Got no reason to lie to anyone here, protecting my reputation to a bunch of faceless internet characters was never my agenda.

Threw the topic up for the lol's as I said at the very start, nothing more. This reaction isn't surprising and nothing that has transpired since was nothing I didn't anticipate to begin with.

[Seydou]

If you have any questions they can be directed at M12, he is representing me

:rofl:

Them ones.

[The Infamous]

Trying to say M12 is any Lionel Hutz.

:lmao:

[Benicio del Toney]

Grown men asking for petrol money?

Grown men asking for kids numbers?

[imhim]

Grown men asking for petrol money?

Grown men asking for kids numbers?

d

sg

sf

g

ds

g

d

gd

sg

ds

[Benicio del Toney]

Fak 12 pages

Almost took the whole train journey

This is why threads are rare, it was a horrible ordeal but give the guy a break, got him bragging about new puss n easy sleep on the defensive

I will jus point out that as a drunken child when I went the extra mile n didn't get my leg over I would always tell the lads she sucked me off despite the fact I was at home fapping through the frustration

Either way thnx for the thread heero

lol the thought did cross my mind, but if I man said he got head I'll give him the benefit of the doubt.

[JOHN DOE]

Fak 12 pages

Almost took the whole train journey

This is why threads are rare, it was a horrible ordeal but give the guy a break, got him bragging about new puss n easy sleep on the defensive

I will jus point out that as a drunken child when I went the extra mile n didn't get my leg over I would always tell the lads she sucked me off despite the fact I was at home fapping through the frustration

Either way thnx for the thread heero

not gonna lie - i didnt think he got 'headers' either

sounded like gas