The "I Knew I Must Have Been High as Hell When..." Thread..

[FreeMason]

i've only smoked weed about 5 times in my life but the most memorable things were:playing pro evo wid my friend and literally taking 20 minutes to pick AC Milan. neither of us could work out where to find them.also, i was by myself and i must of taken some baddd weed and i started getting feverish and breathin really heavily. I remember thinkin sh*t im gonna die, but didnt wanna phone the ambulance... i decided to take off my shirt and lie on the floor in my back garden, so if i did pass out my neighbours would find me and call 999. The reason this story is so f*cked up is cos this was mid december and it had been snowing. So i was lying in the snow with no top on for about 30 minutes trying to regain my composure. The maddest part was that i didnt feel the cold at all!

This happens to me me when I drink and smokeFeels like im getting boiledFell asleep in my boxers in the licing room wooden floor and lyed on in the toilet marble floor on many occasions.

[ReZiW]

watching my bruddah looking at womens jeans in gstar.. was thinking 'am I lean or is dat a big sign saying WOMEN'S.'me: u know u was looking at womens jeans init*bruddah sees the big sign*me: hahaha, your f*ck*ng lean

[kahuna]

was on ket and pills last year and was convinced that there was them tree people from lord of the rings, and they were fightingg spartan warriors that i could see in the clouds.

[Nidge Weasle]

Subway is not your friend when you're really buzzed The ppl that make your sandwich are on some spanish inquisition flex"Oh what bread do you want?""Do you want it toasted?""Would you like salad?""What salad would you like?""Would you like anything else?"Come like verbal hurdles and I tripped on the 1st 1 still, standing there staring at the woman making the sub like say I wanted to commit unspeakable acts on herI'm sure she clocked I weren't in the right frame of mind and had mercy on me, just laughed it off and hooked me up with my sub

ahahaha

[The King]

JOKE THREAD.

[manuel]

I came home from town one time pissed, tried rolling a joint, hold tight the peoples who know about rolling a joint trying to get it in focus with your eyes but no matter how hard you try you can never keep it still. Anyway fell asleep fully clothed, when I woke up I was confused to whether I was dressed ready to go to town or whether I had been the previous night

[macz]

Am i the only 1 who attracts flys when im buzzin..Swear everytime im lean theres always 1 fly in the room flying about PISSIN ME OFF.

you know flies fly around sh*t init....just saying

[djbmc]

one time i was on serato around my mates house, lean. all of a sudden the tune stopped playing i was like "oi! why has the tune stopped?" he was like; "u stopped the vinyl with ur hand" lol

[Hernandez Balcazar]

sorry i dont get high.

why da f*ck did u come in here to say dat?*goes into 'heores' thread*sorry, I don't watch heroes

Felt like it lolIf i ever get high, ill come by and add my two pence.

Jodie >>>>

[DAT_YOUT_FROM_E15]

i got a tatoo on my finger saying smile :(i was drunk and lean :(

[Sunday Roast.]

When you cant order a taxi no matter what the indian guy on the other line kills you to death so you pass the phone quick time overbut your mate starts bussin up so we cant order a taxi, happened once we were pissed.

[Sunday Roast.]

.......

[Dat Boy B]

Am i the only 1 who attracts flys when im buzzin..Swear everytime im lean theres always 1 fly in the room flying about PISSIN ME OFF.

you know flies fly around sh*t init....just saying

Ye i know this still..Had a feeling that coulda been the reason...wasteman

[drifterman]

When you cant order a taxi no matter what the indian guy on the other line kills you to death so you pass the phone quick time overbut your mate starts bussin up so we cant order a taxi, happened once we were pissed.

when u give directions and ur going"yh its on [roadside gs]thebackofthekerbofthesideoftheroad[roadside gs]"haven't smoked weed for 4.5 months now. used to smoke every day for nrly 5 yrs.

[Twirl]

me and my friends had some mushrooms (when they sold them in camdem) and went to the shops. when got to the shops we saw a girl we knew with her baby. i was looking at the baby and hes face turned into some OLD mans face. proper shocked me. then me and my friend locked ourselves in the bedroom and we thought we was on a ship, everything out the window was moving past really fast

[bex]

i got a tatoo on my finger saying smile :(i was drunk and lean :(

pissed.

[Stig]

my friend was high:Him: my mouth is REALLY dryMe: here, try these Jacobs crackersHim: they arent helpingMe: you havent had enough of them, eat them fastersame night my other mate goes out to get more rizla then bursts in the door holding a cat he found and we have to run around the house to get the cat out

[O.Man]

my friend was high:Him: my mouth is REALLY dryMe: here, try these Jacobs crackersHim: they arent helpingMe: you havent had enough of them, eat them faster

L MF AOALMAO:S:SFOMFWEOFMWEFWEOM x 23

[Nola D]

When you are so licked you cant cross the road fullylook at every direction about 6 times checking if a whip will lick you downthen crossing

lol done this a lot

[JLovely]

my friend was high:Him: my mouth is REALLY dryMe: here, try these Jacobs crackersHim: they arent helpingMe: you havent had enough of them, eat them fastersame night my other mate goes out to get more rizla then bursts in the door holding a cat he found and we have to run around the house to get the cat out

LMFAOThe image is alot!

[Fresh]

When you order food on delivery... then you smoke a zoot. it always takes HOURS to come.And somebody is trying to talk to you, they are explaining something to you for at least 5 minutes. Proper getting in depth, and at the end of the story. You're reply is "huh? what did you just say" You dont want to act TOO TOO lean up. So when they only repeat the last sentence you act as if that was the only part you missed... then reply "OH oh, seen seen" then go back to being eyes-glazed.When your blazing partner says "time to roll the next zoot?" and you are tearing your brain for excuses, cos you know a next piff will make you keel over.And you know you're a pro inna dis when you're weary of a 'roller' whose zoots you haven't sampled before and assess every zoot that is passed to you but not rolled by you. Some running commentary ting."You good at rolling yeah?""Yeah"*beady eyes on the materials as they're rolling it up*"That's a bit too much cigarette, grind up some more weed""Nah Bert, it's bless""aight"*Silence*"Want me to buil you a roach?""Nah I made one, safe though"*picks up roach and inspects**the person starts to roll*"Blood carefull! You're dropping nuff""Dont watch that Bert its not a lot I'll put it in the top when I poke it""Aight, let me spark it though...""ok cool""Yeah this rolls nice, coulda poked it a bit more though... check the space between the weed and the roach. It's fat though still"*Holds zoot up to the light, and squints*"Shut up Bert, I beg you just spark it and pass it over"*sparks*"Hmmm yeah it tokes kinda nice, a bit harsh on the throat. It's got a nice taste to it init? Who did you pick this up from? Let me smell the bag.""BERT man, pass the f*ck*ng spliff"

[Grafter]

When you order food on delivery... then you smoke a zoot. it always takes HOURS to come.And somebody is trying to talk to you, they are explaining something to you for at least 5 minutes. Proper getting in depth, and at the end of the story. You're reply is "huh? what did you just say" You dont want to act TOO TOO lean up. So when they only repeat the last sentence you act as if that was the only part you missed... then reply "OH oh, seen seen" then go back to being eyes-glazed.When your blazing partner says "time to roll the next zoot?" and you are tearing your brain for excuses, cos you know a next piff will make you keel over.And you know you're a pro inna dis when you're weary of a 'roller' whose zoots you haven't sampled before and assess every zoot that is passed to you but not rolled by you. Some running commentary ting."You good at rolling yeah?""Yeah"*beady eyes on the materials as they're rolling it up*"That's a bit too much cigarette, grind up some more weed""Nah Bert, it's bless""aight"*Silence*"Want me to buil you a roach?""Nah I made one, safe though"*picks up roach and inspects**the person starts to roll*"Blood carefull! You're dropping nuff""Dont watch that Bert its not a lot I'll put it in the top when I poke it""Aight, let me spark it though...""ok cool""Yeah this rolls nice, coulda poked it a bit more though... check the space between the weed and the roach. It's fat though still"*Holds zoot up to the light, and squints*"Shut up Bert, I beg you just spark it and pass it over"*sparks*"Hmmm yeah it tokes kinda nice, a bit harsh on the throat. It's got a nice taste to it init? Who did you pick this up from? Let me smell the bag.""BERT man, pass the f*ck*ng spliff"

that is breakin one of the principal unwritten rules of blazing etiquetteseriously

[JLovely]

^^^LOOOOOOOOOOOOL

[djbmc]

my friend was high:Him: my mouth is REALLY dryMe: here, try these Jacobs crackersHim: they arent helpingMe: you havent had enough of them, eat them fastersame night my other mate goes out to get more rizla then bursts in the door holding a cat he found and we have to run around the house to get the cat out

LMFAOThe image is alot!

lol, one time i went to pick up, i get to the guy's flat and there's a seagull sitting in his front room with him. I was like WTF?!?!? He said "yeah, i found this seagull all lonely outside so i lured it in with cheese, it lives here now."

[Guest28]

When you order food on delivery... then you smoke a zoot. it always takes HOURS to come.And somebody is trying to talk to you, they are explaining something to you for at least 5 minutes. Proper getting in depth, and at the end of the story. You're reply is "huh? what did you just say" You dont want to act TOO TOO lean up. So when they only repeat the last sentence you act as if that was the only part you missed... then reply "OH oh, seen seen" then go back to being eyes-glazed.When your blazing partner says "time to roll the next zoot?" and you are tearing your brain for excuses, cos you know a next piff will make you keel over.And you know you're a pro inna dis when you're weary of a 'roller' whose zoots you haven't sampled before and assess every zoot that is passed to you but not rolled by you. Some running commentary ting."You good at rolling yeah?""Yeah"*beady eyes on the materials as they're rolling it up*"That's a bit too much cigarette, grind up some more weed""Nah Bert, it's bless""aight"*Silence*"Want me to buil you a roach?""Nah I made one, safe though"*picks up roach and inspects**the person starts to roll*"Blood carefull! You're dropping nuff""Dont watch that Bert its not a lot I'll put it in the top when I poke it""Aight, let me spark it though...""ok cool""Yeah this rolls nice, coulda poked it a bit more though... check the space between the weed and the roach. It's fat though still"*Holds zoot up to the light, and squints*"Shut up Bert, I beg you just spark it and pass it over"*sparks*"Hmmm yeah it tokes kinda nice, a bit harsh on the throat. It's got a nice taste to it init? Who did you pick this up from? Let me smell the bag.""BERT man, pass the f*ck*ng spliff"

that is breakin one of the principal unwritten rules of blazing etiquetteseriously

yer roller always sparks but the rest i will c/s me an rez always have these type of convo's now its about whos the best street roller